. . . . a CHEETAH print catsuit with some thigh high brown boots! We gon' be too cute up in the porty. Er'body gon think we twins! Now, I gotta think of a flyy way to get my hurh did. I think I'ma get some red weave with . . . . .

....Noxema, my man's baby mama. Here she is sitting under the drier getting her hair done and these kids running around tearing up the place with dirty shoes and clothes two sizes too small. "Hey you seen Ray Ray", she asked me "Cause I ain't seen him since....

"...Lil Ray Ray bit that old lady on the leg. He gon' tell me I ain't know how to raise my kids and that they ain't have no home trainin'. Shoot that old stankin' trick prolly deserved to get bit. Anyway..." She just kept on talkin, and I'm thinking to myself...

what was Ray-Ray thinking messin’ wid her? Then I heard her say something 'bout Ray-Ray stopping past her mama house trying to get back wid her last Friday night. So I said… “ ’cuse me por favor? I told you I was quarter Puerto Rican, right? Anyways, I knew she was lying cause last Friday Ray-Ray took me to see “Mama, why e’rybody hatin’ on my pencil curls?” starring…

the chick who used to play Andelle on "Moesha" and Raj from "What's Happenin'" and Play from the rap group Kid and Play.

Them folks shole can act, but old girl, Andelle, whatever her name is, she know she can't....

...wearing that old tight, see-thru mess. She ain't young no mo' and she shore ain't skinny no mo' either!

So I FINALLY get away from her when Shaniquanay call me to the chair to get my hair washed. I knew I was overdue for my perm, because she said...

...and i quote "Buckwheat's hair wasn't THIS bad!" The whole shop started laughing, including this ol' school player in there getting his hair pressed. I looked at him and said "I know you ain't laughing, looking like a broke a$% Al Sharpton!" He then.....

began to grin and ya'll, he tried to HOLLA at a sista. Whateva!. Anyways, right then I pulled out my Cricket phone and called up my boy Poochie, cuz I know he got my back. He was there is 5 minutes. When he got there he was like...

"Girl, quit trippin', that's my Uncle Boodah. He was just playin' wit choo. What's up, Unc?"

Again, I was a little outdone, but my hair was fierce, I had my cat suit, and my free thigh-high boots. I wasn't gone let no ghetto stuff bring me down.

So, I sat down at Myequa's table to get me a manicure and a pedicure. She asked me what colors I wanted, and I said....

"Ooh, can you airbrush me a leapard print, to match my outfit? Oh, and can you put that raised acrylic on the PINKY in the shape of a leapard?" She said she could, but asked me if I thought I'd be over doin' it. I thought to myself, no this heffa didn't, not when she sittin here...

With red, white, and blue banana peels in her hair, blue contacts in her eyes, and American flags on her fake fingernails. I mean I'm proud to be an American but...

that is ridiculous!!! So in my best "don't give me that ish right now" voice I told her, "I think it'll will be perfect for the occasion!" Well she commenced to hooking me up and just as she started, you would not believe who walked in the door...

.....my cousin Shaquandrikka's baby daddy with his other baby momma La' Jamaica swinging her curly blue weave ponytail! Thinking she cute 'cause her momma named her after some island. I roll my eyes because they both get on my nerves, talking about how she was in Nelly's video and he tried to holla at her. PLUUUEEEAASSEE!!!! They both start walking towards me so......

I call my newest Baby Daddy The ROck and told him to come over here..............................