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If any part of this is valid, I would say that this is my main gripe with the watered down pledge programs. You can't force the pledges to do anything because that would be hazing. You do nothing but coddle them, give them gifts and shield them from the facts of life. Then the minute they are initiated, the honeymoon's over.

If the OP (along with many other girls who disaffiliate) would be shown from the start that being in a sorority is WORK and that much is expected of them, I don't think we would have this problem. Just because you're asking someone to work doesn't mean you don't care about them...but if you've coddled them for 6 weeks I can see where they would get confused.

This all being said...defriending your little? As Jen said of Brad, there's a sensitivity chip missing somewhere.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AwakeInside (Post 2216507)

Hi everyone. This is my first and probably will be my only post. I've been looking on this site for the past year or so but never got an account. I've found wonderful recruitment, philanthropy, and sisterhood tips, as well as fun cheers and activities to revive the sorority spirit. I'm from the Midwest, although my campus isn't very big, and our Greek system isn't very large (maybe 4 or 5 chapters total). When I joined my sorority, I adored it. I bled our colors for a year and a half.

And then I quit. ..........

I still feel Greek. Because I bled the colors for a year and acted more like a sister than they ever did... I still feel Greek.

Now that you've gotten this off of your chest, move on with your life. That's the best thing you can do for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2216575)

If any part of this is valid, I would say that this is my main gripe with the watered down pledge programs. You can't force the pledges to do anything because that would be hazing. You do nothing but coddle them, give them gifts and shield them from the facts of life. Then the minute they are initiated, the honeymoon's over.

If the OP (along with many other girls who disaffiliate) would be shown from the start that being in a sorority is WORK and that much is expected of them, I don't think we would have this problem. Just because you're asking someone to work doesn't mean you don't care about them...but if you've coddled them for 6 weeks I can see where they would get confused.

Well said! It is interesting that we've changed the pledge periods at just the time we have one of the most coddled age cohorts ever going through college. Not a good combo really.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2216575)

If any part of this is valid, I would say that this is my main gripe with the watered down pledge programs. You can't force the pledges to do anything because that would be hazing. You do nothing but coddle them, give them gifts and shield them from the facts of life. Then the minute they are initiated, the honeymoon's over.

If the OP (along with many other girls who disaffiliate) would be shown from the start that being in a sorority is WORK and that much is expected of them, I don't think we would have this problem. Just because you're asking someone to work doesn't mean you don't care about them...but if you've coddled them for 6 weeks I can see where they would get confused.

This.

However, if what the OP says about the "no boys, no fraternities, no parties" thing is true, then I do understand how this would be a frustrating situation. I did A LOT for my sorority, and I didn't see it as work.. but if all I was allowed to do was go to meetings, philanthropy events, and initiation, and a sister was going to report me any time I had a sip of beer, I wouldn't have enjoyed myself at all. And yes, I would have seen it as too much "work."

That being said, I'm not sure how you can defriend your little and not expect some fallout from that. If you defriended all of the sisters, that's one thing. You could have at least said you were cutting your friends list down to family only, or something (although I don't think I would even suggest doing this). The only way you could defriend people that you see and talk to nearly every day and not offend anyone is if you removed yourself from Facebook completely. This was just a bad move on your part.

ETA: btw.. when you do a good job, whether it be at a sorority event, at work, at home, or anywhere else, you shouldn't expect to be praised for it. You're an adult now. You won't always get the recognition you (think you) deserve. That's life.