Smart course of action. They're big kids. They'll sort it out. Focus on your PhD!

I think this is first time I've thought, "Where are those books to read? Looks like a great time to read 3 today!" :)

:D

One of the best takes on being a bridemaids.

I think adpiucf has the best advice in this case. If the bridesmaids don't handle this themselves, they may end up letting this little issue harm their friendships. They may resent her for making them pay more than they want for this event. Brides tend to forget that their friends don't want to spend all their money on their wedding, too. Your sister may come to you crying "can you believe how selfish my bridesmaids are being?" That's when you can put in your two cents that she's being unreasonable. I'd put the ball in the bridesmaids' court to start the conversation, though. They need to let your sister know how they feel so your sister doesn't think you are meddling.

Thank you for reminding me how I will never be in another wedding besides my own kid sisters.

(I like my sister in law SO much better now that she's no longer a bride!)

$100 is way too much for a HAIRDO (unless they're all getting matching cut and color). Your sister needs to quit being a bridezilla and let them go to someplace cheaper. Or better yet - does she really not have ANY friends who do hair and can do it inexpensively? Most people do.

I was matron-of-honor in my niece's wedding two years ago. She had someone to do hair and make-up, but it was completely optional. I was the oldest attendant there by more than a decade and decided to take advantage of the option -- I paid $60 for hair AND make-up. Plus, my hair was long and styling included a French braid followed by some loopdy-doopty, swirly up do. That, with a full make-up session to boot, seemed like a deal at $60!

To be fair, $100 for an updo sounds like a lot, but for a metro region like Boston/NYC/Los Angeles/San Fran, things just cost more. I agree that it is ridiculous, but that's the reality. People also seem to upcharge for weddings! I once had the option of a $100 updo for a wedding in a big city, but the bride didn't care if we had our hair done professionally or styled it ourselves. So I did my own.

These areas are more expensive, and they definitely have more places that are pricier, but that doesn't mean you can't find a deal. I grew up around Boston, and I know there are places in Boston and the surrounding area where you can get an up-do for much less than $100.

The best wedding I was ever in was my cousin's. His wife did the bridesmaids' hair (and her own). And the day before, we all put together a fancy cupcake tower and made cupcakes, and she used to work at AC Moore doing floral arrangements, so she put together all of our bouquets (while we assisted her). We had the best time doing all this stuff together, and we definitely saved a few bucks.

ETA: Sometimes, up-dos aren't worth it. Like others have said - many times, it's just a bunch of hairspray and bobby pins, and the bridesmaids end up looking like someone is pulling their hair the whole time if they're done too tight.

Some people just look better with their hair down, or when they do it themselves. They obviously know their hair better than anyone else. I was in a wedding once and had my hair done, and the hairdresser styled my bangs and LOADED them with hairspray. They looked awful and curled in a weird way. No hairdresser has ever styled them correctly. I ended up brushing them out and doing them myself. And I kind of wish I could have just worn my hair down.

But the up-do is seen as "the thing to do."

I kept it low-key. I told my bridesmaids, "Do whatever you like with your hair. As long as it's clean and nicely done, do whatever you like." My three bridesmaids had very different hair - one with thick straight dark hair, one with short curly dark hair, and one with long thin blonde hair. If any of them had chosen to drop $100 on an updo, that would have been their choice. (None did.)

My thinking is that, if a bride dictates that her bridesmaids have a specific hairstyle that costs a lot of money, she should at least chip in if not pay outright. A wash, cut, and updo can be damn expensive.

But-But-But it's HER special day! How dare you be so selfish?!

/has way too many bridesmaid dresses


FWIW, the most fun I ever had as a bridesmaid getting ready was with a bunch of bridesmaids and friends who were there to hang out and help us get ready. There were about 15-20 of us. We all did one another's hair and makeup and the guests oohed and ahhed and wanted to know what salon we'd been to. :)

I completely agree! (Then again, with my English background, I always assumed that the bride would pay for everything, UK style.) I've felt very taken advantage of as a bridesmaid. It's one thing if it's a low key backyard wedding where they are clearly trying to keep it as budget friendly as possible, but when it's a huge wedding, well, that's something else. I was once told by that bride, "I would rather spend it on myself." Thanks for that, nevermind the $1500 I put out for everything. Needless to say, I don't agree with the whole "You have to do what I say because I'm the bride" for every little thing*, and if I end up like that, I will take a long hard look at my life.
*I understand for the bridal gown, ceremony/reception location, big ticket issues, this is fair.

This is exactly how I feel about shoes and jewelry for weddings. If you want me to wear those nude pumps from Steve Madden, you had better be paying for them.

When our daughter was married last spring, my wife and I footed the bill for a hairdresser (and her assistant) to come and set up in a large room furnished by our hotel. We paid them both a set fee, but it was understood that each bridesmaid, mother, or sister would then tip them. (But no amount was set.) They did the bride, six bridesmaids, two mothers, and a sister doing whatever that particular person wanted. This was the bride's hairdresser who had already done a trial run on her.
I know we paid them a good amount, but each lady was VERY generous with tipping. But even so, a $15 or $20 tip is way less than the cost of a complicated hairdo.

We also had a local restaurant cater chicken salad sandwiches, fresh veggies, and bottled water. Oh, and apparently, there were some bottles of champagne cracked as well!

It was not cheap, but something we wanted to do. Everyone was happy, the ladies had a fun afternoon bonding, and the hairdressers were generously rewarded for their outstanding job. The photographer took some GREAT pictures of all the ladies getting beautified.

And the guys hung out in our rooms, watched a little TV, and waited till our wives/GFs returned to help us with our tux studs and bow ties!

I was in a wedding once where the bride wanted us all to have up-dos. Fortunately, she paid a hairstylist (or it was a friend, I forget. Either way, I didn't have to pay). My hair is long and UBER thick. I was in the chair forever - and I ended up looking like Marge Simpson. A simple French twist would have been way better.

When I got married, I just told my MOHs to do whatever they wanted with their hair. They both have different styles. My sister and mom both wanted appointments so I did make them for them since they were out of towners, but they paid for their own hair.

I just don't think the clone thing is necessary. I didn't have the MOHs have matching shoes, either. I just told them silver, preferably strappy. And they both looked lovely. :-)