Quote:
Originally Posted by freedombliss
(Post 2198919)
I'm a new student this semester at Arizona state university. I knew right off the bat that I wanted to be in a sorority, so u decided to do spring recruitment even though only three chapters are recruiting. I went to the first chapters recruitment party, and within a few days I had accepted a bid from them without meeting ANY of the others. All the girls were so nice, but I realized on bid day that I really didn't mesh with them, and that the sorority wasn't for me, but at that point I was too polite to say no. This is a huge commitment, and I need to be fair to myself by picking the house that is best for me, and give them all a fair shot. I want to do fall recruitment, but I know if I drop now that I have to wait an entire year before I can accept another bid. This means that I will have to wait three semesters before I can do the fall recruit, and I just feel like I'm going to miss out on so much!! Is there any way around this?! I can't believe I acted so naively. Please help!!!
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You can only move forward. Yes, in hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea to pledge this sorority. But it is flattering when you don't know many people to be asked to events and then to join a group. You need to know that initiation binds you to this sorority forever. Sure, you can later drop out, but being initiated means you can't ever join another sorority.
Don't drop out just yet, but do give it a few weeks and make a real effort to get involved. If you get to initiation week, and you're still not feeling it, drop out. You drop out by making sure your dues are current and paid up, and giving a dated letter to your chapter president, and talking with her to make sure there is nothing else that needs to be done. You also give all of your sorority items and your pin back to the chapter (anything with letters, crests, etc., on it; even clothing items with the sorority name). Make sure you are paid up and provide this letter, or they can continue to assess dues and seek payment. Once you drop, you are not a member anymore and are not to wear or display anything with the sorority letters.
Then, you are free to go through formal recruitment in the fall. You may or may not be successful in formal recruitment, but if you really can't see yourself in this chapter there's no need to be miserable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaffyKD
(Post 2198955)
Once upon a time, when dinosaurs roamed college campuses and new members were pledges, there was a chapter on a large campus that went into rush with less than 10 members. They pledged NO ONE. The members sat down with the national officers and discussed their options 1) close the chapter, 2) find some way to revitalize the chapter. The members voted to revitalize. They worked and worked. That fall they more than tripled their membership. Their sisters from other chapters helped them with rush, helped them build sisterhood, were there for them the entire year. They again increased their membership during spring recruitment (can't remember if they also had a winter class as they are on tri-mesters). Within 2 years they were almost to total.
Small chapters can grow with the help of other sisters and with new members who want to do the work to help them grow. Although they were an old established chapter, but had to learn to work together in the same way a new colony has to work together.
Dropping out because a chapter is small tells me you don't want to do the work. Dropping out now gives you no guarantee you will be extended a bid by another chapter in fall-- you will be further along in school and you have proven you are not willing to take on a leadership role to assist the chapter. A new colony will most likely not consider you for membership as they need leaders to build their chapter.
DaffyKD
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I agree that if you don't want to do the work, you drop out. However, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was a similar chapter on my campus. They revitalized and it went great... for a few years. Then they were back in the same position and made the mature and difficult decision to relinquish their charter. Was it an easy decision? No. But it was the best decision given their circumstances. My point is that for every small chapter that rallies and makes it, there's a 50/50 chance of failure despite everyone's best intentions. And if you're not the type of person who wants to make your sorority your life, then I think it is a good idea to drop out and avoid the work. Why make yourself miserable? It doesn't do anyone any good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Old_Row
(Post 2198958)
How can you suddenly realize on bid day that you don't mesh with a group? Sounds like you aren't bothering to give them a chance because you think you can do better than they are. They are probably better off if you quit if that's the way you are feeling but realize that in the fall you may not receive a bid from anyone.
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I agree that you need to give the new sorority a fair shake, OP. First impressions matter, yes, but sometimes you have to take some time to get to know a group. Give them a few weeks and make a real effort to make friends and get along. I wish you the best of luck with whatever decision you make.
