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-   Sorority Recruitment (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/forumdisplay.php?f=217)
-   -   Legacy was released - Sad Momma! (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=129041)

ForeverRoses 08-27-2012 10:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AOII Angel (Post 2172048)
You really do not want any details. I talk about this because AOII has a policy to call our sisters when we release legacies. We don't say why they were released, though sometimes people end up divulging too much and all it does is upset the relative. You wouldn't feel any better knowing that she didn't fit in or she was pretty enough or any judgemental thing you are thinking caused it. Just go with the idea that the sisters that rushed her didn't mesh well with her. Maybe it would have been different had she been paired with different people.

I'm so glad she's happy to be an AOII. She'll have an amazing time in Xi Omicron. They're a great chapter, and we're doing some really cool things in AOII right now. I know it's hard not to hold these things personally, but you really shouldn't. As your daughter grows to love AOII, find it in your heart to forgive your chapter for ending your dream of a legacy. In the end you'll both be happy.
Really, you don't want to know.

It is hard, but the best thing is to just let it go. Even if by some off chance you would get more information, it still wouldn't change the outcome.

So go stock up on Pandas, Roses, and sheafs of wheat!

AlphaFrog 08-27-2012 12:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by agzg (Post 2172117)

Don't compare your daughter and the other women you wrote recs for - sometimes it's less about resumes and more about "fit." I doubt they're punishing you, though - you have to remember that these women are 18-23, and probably have no idea about your level of involvement with your group.
This. It's possible that the legacy chapter were the campus jocks and your daughter was more tge studious type so they knew she'd be a better XYZ. Certain groups also release women who they know are going to be snapped up by the most popular group, and they don't want to try and compete. There are so many variables.

irishpipes 08-27-2012 12:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZetaWJC (Post 2172020)
Additionally, several of the girls had no rec letters and received bids.
Your daughter's friends may have had recs that they weren't aware of. In fact, since this is an SEC school, I would almost assume that they did. A lot of bad information gets thrown around during the emotional time of recruitment.

I'm glad your daughter's recruitment ended happily. Go AOII and WPS!

KDCat 08-27-2012 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by agzg (Post 2172117)
I don't have a lot to add since I don't have a legacy, but you seem pretty reasonable and I'm confident that once the sting wears off, you'll enjoy having a daughter who's an AOII. For the very simple fact that looking for panda stuff is going to be really fun.
My favorite panda tshirt is currently $9.99 at Threadless:

http://media.threadless.com//imgs/pr...0design_01.jpg



http://www.threadless.com/product/58...ys/style,shirt

FSUZeta 08-27-2012 01:06 PM
What a darling shirt!

NutBrnHair 08-27-2012 01:12 PM
All very good advice given. All I can add is this: Ultimately, it's the chapter's decision. Just as we voted when we were actives, now it's their time to vote. That is our system. As alumnae we have input, yes, but the final decision rests with the collegiate chapter. And that's how it should be.

carnation 08-27-2012 01:16 PM
Oh, that panda shirt is too cute!

Zeta, it is really tough to say goodbye to the image of your daughter in your letters. Boy, do I know! But I did discover that pandas are a huge big deal now and it's so much fun to find cool panda stuff for your daughter! Red rose stuff too.

You can also buy shirts, etc., that say "AOII Mom". I never imagined my daughters wearing different letters from mine but when I met their fabulous sisters and got to know their sororities better, I was a happy camper--because they were!

thetygerlily 08-27-2012 01:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katmandu (Post 2172094)
Start to consider which gorgeous jeweled AOPi pin you are going to buy her for initiation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryPoppins (Post 2172097)
Ooh, maybe she should go look at the Badge Trends thread? So many lovely jeweled Alpha Omicron Pi Badges there.
Oh yes there are. I was lucky enough to see AOII Angel's badges yesterday- they are simply stunning! And if you splurge for a badge with rubies, everyone will fawn over it for many years to come. That would be a fantastic surprise for her when she is initiated if she is a jewelry lover in any way!

I'm sure this is a frustrating time, and I'm sorry you are going through this. The advice here has been fantastic so I will just echo one sentiment- the only place to go is forward, so start embracing all things AOII and show your daughter how excited you are for her to have found a great home! Plus if she was a legacy to two houses, now you've got three in the family... only 23 left for a full NPC convention :D

JayhawkAOII 08-27-2012 01:24 PM
I was released from my legacy sorority (AOII), and then was later offered a snap bid on bid day. My life that first semester would have been much easier if the rush adviser had not told my sister why I was released. It was hard enough to go away to school and not know anyone, but the fact that my sister told me why after she was informed made it much much harder.
I am proud to be a sister in AOII, but I wish that I would have gotten there a different way, not knowing all the details.

Texas_DG 08-27-2012 02:16 PM
As far as other girls from her school getting in, and your daughter not getting in - I think sometimes we look at legacies more closely. We don't want to over-look them so they end up getting scrutinized a bit more than the average PNM. Perhaps if the chapter had scrutinized those other girls just as much, they might have been released too.

I'm glad she was able to find another chapter that she is happy in.

AGDee 08-27-2012 02:43 PM
I have an alumna sister whose daughter went through recruitment at a school that only does informal recruitment. Mom had sent the expected paperwork to the chapter. Daughter told mom that the chapter never invited her to any events and ended up pledging another chapter. Mom was very upset and I was overseeing that chapter at the time and made an inquiry. Chapter Advisor said that the daughter was invited and didn't attend. Bottom line... daughter didn't really want to join that chapter but wasn't telling mom that. I didn't share that info, but the mom still, every now and then, makes a comment. I keep my mouth shut.

ZetaWJC 08-27-2012 03:52 PM
All I can say is WOW! I knew this was the right place to seek comfort and advice. You all are an amazing group and such an example of all the things that are right with our Greek system today.

I feel so fortunate that my daughter selected AOII. It feels like the right place for her and she is embracing it with open arms.

Sounds like I need to do some jewelry shopping. Who doesn't love rubies and roses?

ADPiEE 08-27-2012 06:03 PM
Thank you for sharing your experience. Even though my daughter is still young, I've thought about "what if my group cuts her," or "what is she doesn't like my group." With so many legacies these days, sometimes more going through recruitment than quota, its a definite possibility. I appreciate your honesty and class. I'm glad your daughter is happy!

ColdInCanada11 08-27-2012 06:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZetaWJC (Post 2172324)
All I can say is WOW! I knew this was the right place to seek comfort and advice. You all are an amazing group and such an example of all the things that are right with our Greek system today.

I feel so fortunate that my daughter selected AOII. It feels like the right place for her and she is embracing it with open arms.

Sounds like I need to do some jewelry shopping. Who doesn't love rubies and roses?
I hope that if I'm in the same situation that I'm as supportive as you are!

agzg 08-27-2012 06:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KDCat (Post 2172220)
It took me forever to figure out how this was panda related.

/stupid.


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