But that's not really stealing. I mean, it's great that you got a member whose family is already highly involved and understands how recruitment works, it bodes well for a member who will continue to be a great lifelong member, but that's not stealing. It's letting recruitment work for the PNM, which I think is a great thing.

I'm talking about when women actively try to affect the outcome of a PNM's recruitment by talking smack on other groups, or by (in the case of Carnation's story) running up to a new member ON BID DAY and convincing her to switch. That's really deplorable.

I'm not a huge fan of filing recruitment infractions (because holy crap, it gets petty), but I think in cases of bid promising, catty behavior toward other groups displayed by members, etc., they are fully warranted because they DO affect the outcome of recruitment for a PNM, and often it's not just the "other" chapter that gets screwed, it ends up screwing either the PNM in question or another PNM.

I wasn't.

we used the word "stealing" back in my day, when a sure shot to join another sorority ended up joining what the campus felt was a longshot. as daffykd said, when a pnm who came from a long line of ABC's ended up joining DEF, everyone might say that DEF stole the pnm. it didn't mean that DEF have spent the entire recruitment badmouthing ABC, it could be that they put on a really good recruitment.

Yes, this is how I meant stealing. A PNM who on paper should definitely go one place, but didn't.

The first story about grabbing the PNM on her way to the other chapter... Yeesh!

I got all excited for this thread, because I thought it was stories about PNMs stealing stuff from sorority houses during recruitment. Ha!

Those would be good too! LOL!

Don't know if this is considered 'stealing' a PNM, and I tried to post earlier but it didn't accept, and it's hard to explain...

Years ago, one time only on one campus I know of for I can't imagine WHAT reason, on Bid Day the PNM envelopes were individually color-coded on the outside according to which house's bid you received. There was a more popular house on the campus, which comes into play...

Each woman (when her name was called) picked up and immediately opened her bid envelope from the same table. From the outset, there were 3Xs more tan envelopes than white or grey. As women who had opened up their bids made it obvious each house had a different color bid envelope, the next women were reluctant to open envelopes from the 'wrong' colored house (IE their friends/roommates/legacy house wasn't the house listed inside the envelope that they were going to be handed when their name was called).

The popular house (tan) made quota, and later pledged some of the 'reluctant' women. Grey and white houses had some work to do, but maintained positive attitudes and today (years later) all three are thriving over total. A most unfortunate situation that was NEVER repeated.

I feel like I posted this before but maybe I haven't.

My junior year I lived with a member of ABC. Long story, we both got stuck in what's called "supplemental" housing, aka an old study lounge that's been converted to a large room. Basically it was because we had both wanted to live on our sorority floor but there wasn't room/we requested it too late. Anyway, she was a great roommate and I am SO glad that we were together during formal recruitment.

After every night we'd come home and whine about all the dumb things women would say to us. We'd also talk about our rush crushes. Neither one of us ever said the names of our rush crushes, just facts about them, and the day of pref I told her 'you'd better not steal my rush crush, biddy' (we had that kind of love-to-make-fun-of-the-other relationship). She laughed and said that she wouldn't, and I promised we wouldn't take hers.

I preffed my rush crush, along with another one of my rush crushes. I never did know the name of my roommate's rush crush, so I'm not even sure if she was at our pref party, but she probably was, as women who pref ABC almost invariably pref Sigma as well.

Flash forward to bid day, my first rush crush goes ABC. We're still friends, we see each other all the time at all Greek events, but inside I'm always a bit sad. Roommate's rush crush did not go ABC though, sadly. But the good news out of this story is that my second rush crush that I preffed became probably my favorite new member ever and she's now our president. :) Just goes to show that things have a way of working themselves out in the end.