You're hurting...we get that. However, I wouldn't put too much stock in the comment about still being together if she hadn't joined a sorority. The sorority was most likely a symptom and not the cause of your relationship problems. Either way, she's moved on and it's time for you to do the same.

As an aside, my husband did not go to college - in fact, in his culture kids were expected at around age 13 to get a full time job and help support the family - and it can be difficult to share a similar viewpoint on things, namely social activities. Even as an adult, in general I see a very different set of social activities in those who went college and those who didn't.

ok my username is just an old gamertag. I am not a creep. lol.

I do have a new girlfriend now but I'm just trying to get a better understanding of Greek life at this point since I didn't join a frat in college. I did go to college but the job I chose is unusual and doesn't require a major college or a 4 year degree.

Do you think that when two people, who are dating, and are in the same college and Greek life circle, tire of each other from seeing each other all the time? Or does the interesting dynamic of new events/parties keep things fresh?

Do you guys/girls who are living in your sorority/fraternity house get tired of Greek life in general by the time your last year comes around?

Do you find that most people marry the man/woman they meet in their college or in their Greek life circle?

Okay people on here have attempted to be very nice and accommodating to you. But I'm just going to tell it how it is: you are obviously pathetic. Not because you aren't in Greek life or didn't go to college, but because you are sitting on a Greek life website posting continuously about your EXGIRLFRIEND. She is your ex. She did NOT want to be with you. So get over it! I feel sorry for whatever girl is dating you now. Does she know that you're still obsessing over this ex?
And people in Greek life have the same range of emotions and reactions as those not in Greek life. IT IS NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME FOR EVERYONE. So stop asking stupid questions, stop being creepy and obsessive, and go live your own damn life.

I feel sorry for anyone who ever gets involved with you with a clam that tightly packed with sand.

Again, I'm just trying to get a better understanding of Greek life. It's something I've been interested in since I was in college but I didn't have the opportunity to explore it.

That was incredibly rude.

No, you're not trying to get a better understanding of Greek life. You are obsessing about why your girlfriend broke up with you, and the only change that you acknowledge is that she joined a sorority. I would be willing to assert that joining the sorority didn't cause her to want to break up with you, despite her agreeing with you that it was the reason. People who are doing the dumping will often agree with almost anything just to get the upset dumpee to leave them alone.

I am happily married to a non-Greek man. I know several Greek men and women who are in relationships with non-Greek people. When the relationship is right for both people involved, that kind of stuff really doesn't matter. While it may have been right for you, it wasn't right for her.

Well...look at what he was responding to.

OP - If you have a new GF and she has a new BF, just move on. "Real people" are in fraternities and sororities, and just like with "real people," sometimes relationships run their course.

Focus on your new GF and call it a day. The end.

This.

This thread is starting to get a *plumburrito* feel to it, and I don't like it.

I had a non-greek bf when I joined a sorority. We broke up shortly into my new member period. I said it was because I joined the sorority and I didn't have time for him. That wasn't the truth - I just didn't want to be with him anymore, but it was easier to lie at age 18.

You need to move on. She's just not that into you.

I'm sorry if you think I was rude, but this guy is getting really creepy. And it needs to stop.

Same. I never dated another greek. Ever. When I started dating the man who would become my husband (he had a 2 year associates degree, but worked a full time 40 hour job when we met), the most problems always arose from us being at different points in our lives. It took a while to find a median place where we were both happy, and accepted that I wouldn't be in college for ever.

My same thought.

Is your new girlfriend a college student who is in greek life, or wants to be? If not, then don't bother trying to find answers to those questions. Just let it go, and focus your time, energy, love and attention on what is in front of you.

I laughed.

I laughed harder.


Ditto. But the rudeness was funny.

k_s is smart AND hot!

Yes, the OP is creepy. But, you correcting someone is rather ironic.

*****SNARF****

OP - When I first started college, I went out with a guy who was a senior. He was my first boyfriend. I thought this would be like the HS relationships I'd seen - date a few months, then move on and call it a day. Oh hells no. This dude wanted to get married. All his friends (who were among my only friends) were in couples and it was a very tight knit group. The autumn after he graduated I pledged my sorority. We broke up the December after I pledged. I'm sure he told everyone "she went Greek and dumped me" but as Maggie said, it was the symptom, not the cause. I didn't have any other friends and needed to find some. My chapter was THE most accomodating as far as non-Greek and non-college boyfriends were concerned. I just didn't want to date him anymore. He did not understand that I wasn't ready to cut myself off from all other men in the world at age 19.

You're done with school and you have a job. This would have been just as likely to happen if the girl didn't pledge a sorority. Trust us.

Not quite sure why since I've never been a stalker? But okay, I get it, I'm always wrong.

To the question do we get sick of Greek life by the time we graduate? In my case, HELL YES. But I think that's part of the growing process. I personally could not have gone on to any graduate school without some sort of newsworthy violence happening eventually. Others have a greater tolerance for crowds, groups, social requirements, etc. And some just refuse to ever grow up, and instead of being the pathetic guy who never moves beyond high school becomes the pathetic guy who never moves beyond college. The 2nd semester of my senior year was painful, and probably twice as painful for my sorority sisters who had to tolerate me.

If I can offer a little advice on how to deal with lack of closure? Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. There are 900 times in your life you're not going to really understand what happened - relationships, job loss, job not gained, deaths - and no matter how much time you spend dwelling on it or asking strangers for the answers or talking to psychics, you're NEVER going to understand. Force yourself to stop thinking about it and eventually it will go away. But it's NEVER going to stop haunting you if you keep dwelling on it.

Cool.