Dr. Phil has me over here lmao. I haven't given it much thought. I take it that this one isn't the superficial deal breaker thread. This one isn't nearly as funny as the other one. I haven't really given mine a lot of thought. I think I just need to date more when I'm done with school. I'll have a better list I think.

No Kappas, Ques, or Sigmas. How 'bout you start with that? :rolleyes:

TonyB06 ain't got no sense!

Diamond Girl, I spend more time with the personality and lifestyle stuff. The physical stuff is obvious for me and it is easy for me to figure out who I don't find attractive and therefore I don't even waste a first date with a man who doesn't have my physical desires.

It is the personality and lifestyle stuff that are more easily hidden and/or you don't know it is a deal breaker until you come across it. If I think I will spend a lot of time rolling my eyes, arguing, or even trying to change something about a man, I know that is a deal breaker and I need to move on. :)

I don't know how I missed this thread. I responded to the superficial thread, but not this one. I'll have to respond to this one when I get home from work. My list is much like my superficial post.... long. :p

My non-negotiables for this thread are as follows:
1. He must be plugged into God, and not just simply being "spiritual" or saying that he "knows" The Word of God. I'm talking about the accountability factor of it.

2. He must be a working man (he should have a job). He should know and understand his purpose, have a vision for his life, and be actively engaged in pursuing it. The alternative is a deal breaker, and isn't good, especially when it begins to affect the economic quality of my life. When I was single and dating, if I asked a man what he wanted to do with his life and he said he didn't know, I wouldn't walk away, I would run. Life cost money, so I can't afford to be so romantic that I don't care what a man is going to do for the rest of his life. :p

3. He must have integrity. Therefore, he should be true to what he was designed to do and be true to me. There should be no question about his intentions toward me and his ability to deliver what he promises. He should have no problem being transparent with and accountable to me.

4. He must have good current relationships. Meaning his connections --like, his family, because I believe where a man comes from has a lot to do with how he will function in relationships.

5. He must have good past relationships. To me, a track record of numerous short-term romantic, platonic, and/or professional relationships could be evidence that he is unable to commit long-term. It was important for me to ask these questions early or find out through the dating process, so I would be able to decide if I wanted to invest in him or not.

6. His friends and who he spends his time with is also a big one. His pals are extensions of him. Friends (to me) reveal a lot about the person because they can be considered duplicates. Birds of a feather really do flock together, I believe.

Not every man I dated was husband material. If he was easy to get, then he was more likely than not hiding defects that I didn't want to deal with. I considered men like that to be "discounted" or "on sale". I just believe that you get what you pay for, and there is a "price" attached to love. :)

lol. You and your "Alpha only" posts are too much.

Lmao! I'mma have to use this one lol. That is so true though about a price being attached to relationships.

Deal breakers that I remembered from my discussion with a friend:

1. People deal with stress differently. One of my deal breakers is men who crumble to stress. I cannot be with a man who acts out against the people who love him OR who distances himself or disappears altogether. It is normal to need space. It is not normal to only be able to function if life is perfect.

2. Paying respect to Maya Angelou "never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option". I don't believe in "I will take care of this relationship when I have time" so I have low tolerance for a man who has the arrogance to think he can put people on hold until he feels like being bothered or gets around to it.