You have to get Everybody to Rock Your Body. That will take care of it.

http://files.sharenator.com/shockedC...103667-535.jpg

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lh...v9g6o1_500.gif

I'll tell you where to go.....

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ky1bf81QrM...ow-unicorn.jpg

I love all of the My Little Pony GIFs... and every other one posted here too. Also, this thread is cracking me up.

I hate to break it to ya, Sweetcheeks, but if you're as old and tired as you're coming across on here, there's no way you're gonna impress anyone.

Have you thought about hiring a young and energetic stand-in? She could go to the mixer and say she's you. I'm sure she'd have much more fun than you would. At the end of the night (or, depending on how much fun she has, perhaps the next morning), she can tell you about all the fun she.. I mean, you... had. Everybody wins.

I don't think you want a solution. If you did, you'd just ask your sisters. Duh. Or, just give up and resign... and stick it to the sorority by keeping your pin 'cause you paid for it.