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Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2014359)

Let me also say that not everyone is close with her big. Mine can't stand me, to this day. Are there any other older members in the chapter with whom you feel a connection? Perhaps there is a pledge trainer or someone like that who you have gotten to know. I know it may seem like a hard thing to do, but if you can talk to her one on one, it may help.

This. And some girls are just shitty big sisters.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocoholic1113 (Post 2014390)

Another thing I want to put out there... this sorority was not my first choice during rush as I came with some preconceived notions, but towards the end I fell in love and I loved it!! Even though things aren't great now, should I still keep trust in the rush process that I ended up in the right place? Would anyone agree that where formal rushing places you is almost always the best place even if you didn't see it yourself at first?

Gosh, I think you are thinking too much. It's possible, you know, to overthink things and analyze and next thing you know you've made yourself crazy with second-guessing and worry and so on.

We all have cycles of emotional intensity and attachment and involvement. It's part of life, actually.

I had a long conversation with an active this Fall who finally admitted that she didn't feel attached to the chapter/her sisters/etc. This explained her challenging behavior. I asked her "who moved? you, or them?" This was meant to get her to look at the circumstances/facts of her situation; she increased her work hours to 30 hours/week, moved out of the chapter, and was NEVER around, had an absentee boyfriend, plus academic obligations. She did not make her membership a priority, and it showed.

It's trite, but true that "you get what you give". Please give your chapter some time and effort and energy before you call it quits. I can't tell you how many times I've heard a woman express regret after resigning her membership.

You mention not knowing who you're going to live with or having friends in the house this coming year.

Going into living in the sorority house, I wasn't one of those girls who knew who she wanted as a roommate.

Everyone else pretty much knew "OMG I'm living with Suzie and we're going to have so much fun!!!" I didn't.

My roomie and I were together based on the fact that neither of us had a preference of roommates. I knew her and we were friends, but I didn't know her life story and we weren't BFFs. It was basically "hey do you have a roommate? No? Neither do I. Let's room together."

That was 4 years ago and she is one of my best friends now. So just because you don't go INTO living in the house having best friends/roomie BFFs, doesn't mean you won't end up making friends.

In addition, just because girls know who they want to live with and are BFFs, doesn't mean they will stay that way. I've seen it happen plenty of times where Suzie and Jenny couldn't WAIT to move into the house together and be roomies, then by the end of the year they are sick of each other.

Don't over-think it: you're paired with girls you love, and by the fact that you were extended a bid in formal rush, they think you'd be a great fit. That's all that's necessary for a magical experience.

Though, however magical the experience may be, it is not magic. You have to make it magical.

If you can't make it to the organized events, you need to put the effort out there to get to know your sisters. Depending on the culture of your sorority, this may involve dropping by the house randomly, actively trying to form study groups, or simply grabbing food. Remember: you become close to others through shared activities instead of the other way around. Plus, who'd turn down a sister assuming they don't have anything more important on their agenda?

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 2014422)

In addition, just because girls know who they want to live with and are BFFs, doesn't mean they will stay that way. I've seen it happen plenty of times where Suzie and Jenny couldn't WAIT to move into the house together and be roomies, then by the end of the year they are sick of each other.

Yes, for the love of all that's holy, don't room with your BFF (in the sorority house or anywhere) unless your personalities are absolutely identical in every way. They won't stay your BFF.

My BFF and I were going to move here and get an apartment together, but she got transferred to another location. Now when I look back I think God had a good plan, because we're still BFFs - we might not be if we had lived together.

That applies everywhere, not just this thread.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 2014422)

This is exactly what happened to my (biological) sister. However, they both have other besties in the sorority and still get along with each other. They just will never, ever room together again.

I do wish you the best. I hope everything works out the way you want it to, but talking to someone from your chapter is always the best advice. Over-sharing on a public message board is not the best route.