Originally Posted by paulam
(Post 1511333)
This is long, but it will be worth it when you get to the last line...I promise. Since most campuses are either finished with or are in the process of recruitment, I thought everyone could use a good laugh, although this wasn't very funny for the PNM involved.
This happened back in the late '60's when I was asked at the last minute, as a new alumna, to fill in on bid matching day for our SDT National VP who was ill. There were 7 sororities at my alma mater and hundreds of PNMs going through rush as we called it back then, so the process was complicated and I was a little nervous since this was my first time participating in bid matching.
When I entered the conference room where the bid matching was to occur, the first thing I noticed was how innapropriately dressed I was in my nice pantsuit (a new concept back then). Except for the alum from ZTA, who was about my age, all of the ladies were at least 20-30 years older than I and all wore hats and gloves and face powder and Shalimar perfume (like my mother) or something similar.
The ZTA alum glanced at me and winked. Thank goodness, I thought...an ally. I should mention that I was the only Jew there. I vowed to be the best possible alum in the room that day and make sure all the ladies left with a great impression of both myself and my sorority.
I sort of slunk into a seat and paid rapt attention as the Dean of Women explained how the process would work. Each of us would be given the bid sheets for a sorority other than her own so there would be not a whiff of collusion involved in the selection process. I believe I was given AXO's bid list and it was huge.
The Dean would read the PNM's name and first preference and if she were on the "A" list of her first choice, we were to say, "Bid" and mark the sheet. If she did not receive a bid from her first choice, the Dean would read the names of her second, then her third choice and eventually there would be a match. We were very diligent and we went through hundreds of names before we came to the one I never have forgotten to this day...I swear I am not making this up. I will change her first name to protect her just in case she ever reads this thread (heaven forbid), but the last name is the correct one.
The Dean announced in her fine British tea accent, "Barbara Shmuck." Why, why, why, with a Jew in the room, did this have to happen? I wasn't too concerned about the other fine ladies in the room but I knew if I so much as glanced at the Zeta babe across from me, I would lose it and completely embarrass myself and my sorority for life. I made a point of checking all the pages of my list thoroughly so I wouldn't be tempted to look across the table. It then occurred to me that there was total silence in the room. The Dean once again repeated the name, much to my consternation and again, total silence reigned. Apparently Barbara Shmuck, bless her heart, had not received a bid from any of the sororities including mine (I had already graduated and didn't know too many of our sisters but I can only imagine how difficult it was for them to meet Ms. Shmuck and try to keep a straight face). But this was not the part where I had a figurative heart attack...it was what happened next that did it for me.
After the third calling of Barbara’s name with no response, the Dean's secretary, a dear, sweet, little woman with gray hair let out a deep sigh and said in a perfectly sympathetic voice, "Poor Shmuck."
I died at that moment or at least wished I could have. I don't know how I made it through the remainder of the day but somehow I called upon everyone who was dear to me to lend me support so I wouldn't run screaming with laughter from the room. Again, I had to avoid looking up at the Zeta lady but I could tell she was in as much agony as I was. Finally, the Dean called for a break and Ms. Zeta and I ran from the building together, waiting until we were outside before we both collapsed upon one another. Luckily we didn't wet ourselves but we were close. At that moment, she was my dearest friend, someone to share a signal moment in my life...the funniest thing I ever heard in all my years.
There's more. The following day, after all the bids were matched and placed in envelopes, all seven of us sat at a table in the gym and all of the PNM's (or rushees as we called them) filed in to pick up their envelopes. Well, as the story of my life goes, I was sitting behind the sign that said P-S, so naturally a young lady in line finally reaches me and proudly says, "Barbara Shmuck." OMG...why me? This was before the days when the PNM's who didn't receive bids were called in advance. I handed her the envelope and watched while she opened it. Poor Shmuck was right. Her face crumpled and she looked at me through her tears, not knowing which sorority I represented and said, "Not even the Jewish girls wanted me!" Although this was kind of a slam (the Jewish girls being so low on the totem pole), I couldn't help feeling her pain. Through the lump in my throat, I encouraged her to get involved in campus activities, meet new people and rush again in the spring. I heard from our National VP, with whom I shared this incident, cursing her for calling me to sub for her (she died laughing by the way) that Barbara Shmuck did indeed receive a bid during Spring rush and was happily ensconsed in one of the big three and very thrilled about it.
Of all that has happened to me since that day, this has stayed with me. I consider it more than just a humorous story...it was one of redemption (mine and my ZTA pal) and the power of positive thinking. I am glad to share this with you.
Paula M.
Sigma Delta Tau
ΣΔT
Patriae Multi Spes Una
One Hope of Many People
|
