Back to your question about informal recruitment. At most campuses, not all chapters hold informal recruitment. Some will be very open about it and advertise their parties, and some will have for all intents and purposes secret parties. It might be worth contacting that campus Panhel or Greek life office to get the first hand scoop on informal there since it varies massively from campus to campus.

It sounds like your mind is made up about the transfer chapter, so if you want to be active as a collegian, I wouldn't initiate. Your information does not follow you, except by way of people you know who know others. There won't be a paper trail on you unless you initiate. Your bid restriction only applies to the same campus. There are other threads here about that issue. Good luck!

I think you answered your original question in your second paragraph and that you just needed a sounding board for your decision. Sorority basic values are the same - but the chapter culture, Greek Life culture and campus culture can be vastly different.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

They won't even know that I've accepted a bid? All the info I've found seems to say that all of the sororities at the university I'm transferring to will be aware I've gone through recruitment and accepted and dropped a bid. Is that not the case? I've tried searching it on here, but I must not be using the right words or something! So I apologize if there are threads already out there on this.

I did contact Panhel at the university to see about information on Spring rush/informal, but I haven't heard anything back from them yet. My initiation is coming up very soon, though. I wish I could know for sure how they feel about taking in junior-status girls, especially since my case is kind of unique. Because of CC, I'll be a junior - but I might as well be finishing off my sophomore year next semester.

And MaggieXi, I do think that in a sense, I've made up my mind - but I was definitely looking for some opinions/advice on the matter. I've made up my mind, but I'm still so uncertain that I'm right about it! I love these girls here, and it breaks my heart to think I won't be going through initiation with them and remaining here. I almost thought about switching my major just to stay here! But I know that wouldn't be for the best. It's just a rough situation overall. ):

Thanks for all the help!

Have you spoken to anyone in your chapter about your situation?

Keep in mind that no matter how logical your reasoning is, depledging close to initiation will most likely hurt people's feelings and could end friendships if it's without any warning.

It sounds like what you're dancing around is that the chapter on your new campus has a party reputation. If that goes against your values or just isn't something you're interested in, then your concerns are valid. However, I'm a youth-group leader who has never been drunk in her life and just got initiated into the "party chapter" on campus. I couldn't be happier or love my sisters any more, despite almost dropping out of rush rather than be a member of this group. Are there girls in my sorority who fit the stereotype? Of course, we're in college. If I had been in your situation and hung out with these few girls, I would have gotten the impression that the stereotype was right. However, most stereotypes (depending on how old the group is, of course) are earned years ago. The girls in my sorority are the most loving women I have the privilege of knowing and yet I would have been shocked and dismayed a year ago (or even at the beginning of rush this year!) to know I would one day call them my sisters. And I don't feel left out because of my beliefs; I have found tons of girls just like me in my chapter, despite my campus not having the hugest Greek life (quota was 20 this year). Another thing: a party reputation isn't the worst to have, because it's the easiest to debunk. A chapter known for being snobby can be nice all they want, people will just think they're being fake. A member of the chapter known as the partiers just has to conduct herself in a respectable fashion and people will see their assumptions are wrong.

Bottom line: if a party reputation is what you're worried about, your fears may be unfounded. I understand your apprehension, and maybe the best thing would be to rush again. However, if you find yourself drawn to these girls during recruitment, don't be put off solely by reputation or your experiences with the few girls you met. There are girls in each chapter on my campus that I don't mesh with, and girls in each chapter I adore.

^^ What sherrybaby said.

If it were me, I'd initiate with the sisters I love, and then seek affiliation on my new campus. The chances are good that there are girls just like you in your (hopefully) new chapter; you just haven't met them yet.

Pixell, a lot of the girls in the chapter are aware of what's going on. I've even talked to my big, my g-big, and the chapter president about my situation. I've just been waiting on the all-clear to transfer before I make my decision final and officially depledge. That, and I've been waiting to make up my mind. =/

Sherrybaby, I know exactly what you mean. It's definitely food for thought. As if I needed more of that! Haha. I know there are girls of all kind in each chapter, I just felt like these girls were so different from the girls I spend my days with here; they didn't really have the attributes that drew me to my chapter. And like I said, I'm afraid to get to know them all better now that I'm pledging - I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings!

Something I thought was telling was that I was actually advised today by a few girls in my chapter - separately - NOT to initiate and to rush at my new school. They seem to think that it would be the best option. They have a bit more experience with the other chapter, but they haven't said anything about them specifically, just that the Greek life in general is a "different" experience at my new school.

i would probably take their advice then, but try not to write off the other chapter. also remember that in some schools, you are potentially putting your chance to be Greek at risk by rushing as a junior.
i understand the dilemma you have of not wanting to try to get to know them and then maybe offend them by not affiliating. getting to know them through rush might help. i rushed as a sophomore and so had some experience with a few girls from each chapter; in some cases, those experiences were indicative of the whole, in others, not so much. i didn't know many of my sisters at all but didn't get a strong pull from the ones i did know. i guess all i'm saying is that i understand your difficulties and why you would choose to try rushing all the chapters to find your best fit, but just wanted to put out my experience as someone who pledged a "party chapter" despite being the furthest thing possible from a partier and couldn't be happier. just so you know if you do end up liking them at rush, that it can and does work out in some instances! good luck with everything, and i hope the school you're transferring to isn't too tough on juniors rushing!

I understand completely why you want to keep both schools confidential. Can you surf through these threads and find someone who can privately counsel you on your chances of gaining membership? I mean, if you're transferring to Alabama, I'd initiate now and take your chances with affiliation. But without knowing the school you're going to and how much we all enjoyed our collegiate experience, not initiating and then not finding a new home would be a serious bummer. I'd take the lesser reputation and hope for the best. But that's only if being a junior is a big hindrance on your new campus.

Have you looked at the NPC Recruitment: Fall 2010 - Spring 2011 thread? It's just numbers but might give you an idea of what recruitment is like there. If everyone took quota, chapters are big, there's no upper classmen quota, you may have a problem on your hands.

I think all of us are glad we aren't put in the same situation. I'm really glad your current sisters are being understanding and supportive.

And as far as the new campus knowing your history, I don't think they WILL know, but I wouldn't keep it a secret either. I might just not tell them which chapter you were in. Your chapter isn't going to tell, so who would? Your national wouldn't because you're not technically a member yet. Your binding agreement becomes void when you no longer attend that school.

Wait, do you know anything about the other chapters at your new school? Do you think there is a chance that you could rush and then not like any of them? Maybe greek life at your new school isn't for you at all.

Sherrybaby, that's one of my concerns. I don't want to transfer than miss out on this opportunity just because of my junior status. As far as I've heard, the school I'm transferring to isn't very competitive - so I don't think it's impossible for a junior to get a bid. I figure if I can find a few chapters that are having COB events (I think that's what it's called?) or participate in COR like most of the Fraternities do, my status won't affect me like it would in formal recruitment.

DubaiSis, if the number is lower does that mean it's highly competitive or no? I don't really understand much about the quota issues and what that all means.

DeltaBetaBaby, I don't really know much about the Greek life at the new school at all. I think there is definitely a chance that I might rush and find that the whole scene there just isn't for me. That was another worry I had - if I initiated and went to their campus and absolutely hated the Greek life, I wouldn't want to disaffiliate and hurt my chapter or my sorority as a whole.

Quota is simply the number of women who sign a bid card divided by the number of groups participating in recruitment. So if 100 sign cards and there are 4 groups, then quota is 25. Competitiveness has nothing to do with quota other than perhaps the number of women who drop out when they don't get invited back where they want.

And you do not have to disaffiliate if you initiate and don't like the new chapter. You just don't affiliate and are simply considered an alum who is in school there.

Okay, are you aware of how the process actually works when you transfer? AFAIK, every NPC organization lets both the transfer and the new chapter decide if there is a good fit before she affiliates with the new chapter. If you choose not to affiliate, you instead take alumnae status.

This is why I ask about other chapters. If you don't initiate, and you get to the new campus, and you find none of the chapters there are a good fit, or if none of the chapters there find you to be a good fit, you will not be greek at all. If you do initiate, you only have one chapter to consider, but if it doesn't work out, you are an alumna.

No, but the quota number compared to the total number IS a measure of competitiveness. So, if quota is 25, but total is 150, that implies that either a lot of women pledge through informal or interest in recruitment has suddenly fallen or total is just set too damn high. In any of those cases, it would be "less competitive" than a school with quota of 25 and total of 80.

Yes, the process is a mutual decision - but I've been told it's rare that a new chapter refuse to take someone. Overall, I'm not too concerned about that process. I think it would go well if that was something I truly wanted to do. I'm just not sure if I want to. A few of the girls have offered to go to the new campus with me and meet more people in the other chapter and they've assured me no one will be offended if I still decide depledging and rushing again is the best choice for me.

However, I don't know that I want anyone on my new campus to know I was pledging beforehand - especially if I end up rushing again. I'm starting to think I would like to start off with a clean slate. But I don't know how to tell the girls that without hurting anyone's feelings!

I didn't realize I had the option to take alumnae status rather than disaffiliate. That's definitely good to know. However, I'm still not sure that's what I'd want to do. I'd like to be an active member of the Greek life on my new campus - and I don't think that's going to change when I go there.

I think that I'd like to rush informally just because I'd like to get a feel for the type of women that are in the sororities, etc. before I make a decision. I also feel like it would be an opportunity to see if there IS a better fit on this specific campus for me. While I do feel loyalty to the chapter and sorority I'm pledging to now, I don't know that I want to make the sacrifice and end up going alum if I dislike the new chapter.

I'd like the opportunity to get to know the campus and all of the organizations on the campus before I make so important a decision, I guess.

[QUOTE=M.I.A;2001875]
However, I don't know that I want anyone on my new campus to know I was pledging beforehand - especially if I end up rushing again. I'm starting to think I would like to start off with a clean slate. But I don't know how to tell the girls that without hurting anyone's feelings!

QUOTE]

That might not be possible. In my group, we are required to check with your prior campus to find out if you even went thru recruitment. Just an FYI.