I'm not sure if you really believed that or if you're just putting it that way to make the story flow, but you DID NOT drop them. You ranked them lowest. PNMs cannot "drop" sororities if they have less than the max number of invites for that round. This seems to be a common misconception this year on GC - it sounds like Rho Chis/Panhels really need to clear this up next year so girls understand what's happening.

Yeah, I actually did believe that, I'm not sure why it wasn't made clear...it made a lot of girls frustrated when they realized that wasn't what was happening.

Maybe?

I agree...to be honest, I think it would save a lot of PNMs disappointment and stop them from grumbling about "having to go back to a chapter they cut." As I'll mention later, even some of the actives don't seem to realize that even if a girl ranks them last, they could potentially see her again. the rho chis said, almost word for word, "When you're ranking your bottom two, the first one should be the chapter you'd consider again if your whole top five doesn't take you, and the second one should be the chapter you aren't interested in seeing back again."

Unfortunately, not all Rho Chis are well educated as to how the system works. Tell as many of your friends as you can so they understand this point. The only way the ranking matters at all is if you have more invites back than you have slots to attend parties. Otherwise, you go back to every party that you can. This gives you the BEST chance to get a bid on bid day. (Lets women re-evaluate those chapters that they didn't want to consider once those dream chapters let them go.)

Also, if you are not interested in a chapter, and you are invited to their party, go back, and be polite, even if you know that you would never ever ever ever accept a bid from them in a million years. We remember these things, and we talk amongst different sororities.

Which would have been fine, if they had then added, "Keep in mind, though, that you still might be going back to that second chapter."

So I typed all of this directly in the reply box, my session timed out, and I’ve had to rewrite it :o Sorry about that.

Day 4 - Philanthropy Day

Walking home with Parvati, she told me that after thinking it over, she had realized that she was being silly about Ginny – she liked all the Ginnys she knew, what was her problem…that they didn't have a stereotype? I smiled, glad that I had gotten to know Parvati during rush and wondering if we would end up sisters.

It was around this time the first girls started dropping out. Very rarely are girls released at our school, though they may only end up attending parties for one chapter that they don’t want and drop out. The drop in members wasn’t huge this day, but it was noticeable.

Anyway, the time it took to get our schedules felt like forever. When they finally called me up to get mine, I unfolded it to reveal:




















Bill
Ginny
Percy

Wait, what? The bottom of my stomach dropped out, and I frantically reread it. No, it wasn’t a mistake; Fred really wasn’t there. How could my instincts have been so wrong? I didn’t want Fred for their prestige or any of the other silly reasons girls think they want houses that they wouldn’t fit in, I wanted them because I felt a sense of belonging. I did not want to be that girl who sobs hysterically in front of everyone, because I knew I had gotten a full schedule and two of my top three, but I felt so full of emotions and confusion that I felt like I was going to burst. So I numbly excused myself to the restroom. Our schedules allow for a good amount of time in between receiving our schedules and our first party, for which I am infinitely grateful. I immediately pulled out my phone and began dialing – I needed to talk to my mom, my roommate, anyone. Neither answered their phones, which only added to the hysteria slowly creeping in.

“Sherry? Are you okay?”

Hermione poked her head in. For some reason, the concern on her face, tinged with a touch of pity, pushed me over the edge. I burst into tears.

“It was just really hard for me to put myself out there and even rush in the first place, and I feel like I’ve just been punched in the stomach after all that and it’s so hard not to take it as a personal rejection,” I babbled to Hermione (or something like that, who knows what actually came out of my mouth at that point in time). I knew that there were deeper issues at hand than just not getting to be a Fred, and that the emotional process of recruitment, coupled with a lack of sleep and what I later would find out to be bronchitis, wasn’t making things any better, but knowing why you feel a certain way doesn’t stop you from feeling it. I felt pathetic for crying (which of course made me cry even more), and obnoxious for having assumed I would get everyone I wanted during recruitment. Hermione patted my back and told me that she thought we were very similar as far as having to push ourselves to put ourselves out there, and told me her rush experience had been similar to mine as well. She was so supportive and knew exactly what to say. My mom called me back and told me how proud she was of me for even taking a risk and going through recruitment. When I got off the phone with her, Hermione gently reminded me that I had been asked back to three parties, and asked whether I would be going.

I nodded; there was no reason to not continue. If I didn’t feel right accepting a bid in the end, I wouldn’t.

Bill’s philanthropy was one I felt passionate about, so I knew that it was a good first party to cheer me up. Hermione walked me to the door to Bill’s party even though she wasn’t one of the Rho Chis assigned to escort our group. I thought I had gotten pretty well cleaned up and I hoped they wouldn’t notice my red-rimmed eyes. I saw the girl who lived near me back home(let’s call her Katie Bell), and she immediately went about making sure I got to talk to other Bills who were also passionate about their faith. I really appreciated all the effort she went to. I left still unsure whether I would be able to fit in as a Bill, but glad I had been invited back.

Ginny’s room was across the hall from Fred’s, and I tried not to look at the girls standing in line, knowing I wasn’t quite strong enough for that yet. I would get over the upset, but the wound was a little too fresh. Anyway, I mainly talked to two girls, and got along great with the first. The second was a fellow Young Life leader’s little, and while we had pleasant enough conversation, there were a few stumbles. I worried that I had focused too much on the craft and that was why the few awkward silences descended. I was also quite honestly spent at this point in time; I had just emotionally been through the wringer, had been getting very little sleep throughout recruitment (the parties didn’t end too late, but I still had homework to do!), and was starting to get sick. I honestly felt too drained to even worry that my perfectionism about the craft had ruined my chances. At this point, what would happen would happen. I left this party still conflicted about Ginny.

It was going to be hard for me at Percy. Each round of cuts, I had opened my slip to see their name instead of one of my top houses. That was a horrible way of looking at it, but the though came unbidden to my mind and I had a hard time chasing it away. I’ll reiterate that it wasn’t because of their reputation that I wasn’t interested, it was because I really felt uncomfortable and felt like they weren’t necessarily inviting me back because they could see me there; they could be inviting me back because they needed to maximize their options. I decided once again the best thing to do would let the other PNM lead the conversation if I was double-rushed, and to express uncertainty about joining a sorority without letting on that it was them I was uncertain about. I didn’t want to be dishonest and I also didn’t want to be rude. If I went Greek, I was going to see these girls at events, and there were a few that I already had classes with and would never in a million years want to be rude to. Basically, I was going to be toeing a tightrope all night. I was happy to note that at this point in time, several of the girls in line were only going to Percy or had really wanted Percy, so the Percys would probably end up with a good group of girls despite their struggling at formal recruitment. At the party, another chapter was there to help out, and some seemed very condescending towards the Percys. From their attitudes, it seemed like they wanted to make it clear that the Percys at their school had a very different reputation. I felt awful. I have a tendency to feel guilty over things I can’t control, like not feeling like I belonged with the Percys. Basically, this party was not good, as I was completely spent, feeling guilty and nervous I would either make it sound like I really wanted to come back or slip and say something rude. I focused on the craft to calm myself down a little.

My rankings that night were easy. I ranked Percy as my bottom, but realized that I was grateful we didn’t have to rank the other two that night. I had been comforted by Katie Bell that there were currently girls in Bill who shared my values, but my conversation with Millicent the other night had rattled me – what about the PNMs who might be attracted to Bill because of the reputation? Would my pledge class be a lot of party girls? And Ginny, why was every night more confusing than the next with Ginny? I had gone into rush thinking I would certainly accept a bid from Ginny if I received one; as the week had gone on, that certainty had wavered at times.

Parvati had been dropped from Ginny, and had decided to drop out of rush. I walked home alone and confused.

sherrybaby - girlfriend please don't leave us hanging!

More more more! I love your story and I'm really hoping that it works out well for you. :)

Day 4 - Preference Night

A lot of things happened in between Philanthropy day and Pref. A word of warning: dirty-rushing is fairly prevalent at my school. Not to the extent of promising bids (usually) but let’s just say strict silence isn’t always observed.

So that night, I was feeling pretty confused. My rush experiences with Bill and Ginny had not been like I expected going into recruitment and I now was unsure of what should be more important – my experiences at rush or my experiences throughout the past year. I had been reassured that there were girls in Bill that didn’t party, but would I still be part of a tiny majority? And I had found girls that I clicked with at Ginny, but others that really threw me off. I decided I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t in a sorority or rushing to try to sort out my feelings. I texted a fellow Young Life leader who was a senior and had a good head on her shoulders, and we made plans to meet the next day.

That night, I received a private message from Katie Bell. She wrote in it that she knew that I had been upset earlier today, and that she understood because rushing as a junior, she had also come into recruitment thinking she knew exactly what she wanted and having preconceived notions. She advised me to try to clear my mind and really take a second look at the chapters that had invited me back – they clearly saw something in me that they thought would be a good fit for their sorority. She wished me good luck and asked only that I give Bill fair consideration if their reputation was the only thing bothering me, since the executive board was trying to turn their image around and I could be part of that if I wanted and it worked out. She added that the same went for the other sororities – reputations had often been earned years ago and were no longer accurate, so I should try to ignore them in my decision.

I know some of you are probably horrified at this, but it was exactly what I needed. Knowing that someone wanted the best for me and wanted me as part of her sorority helped to ease the rejection pain from Fred and her advice was what I needed to hear. I felt so much better after her message and was touched by that and by all the efforts she had been making for me throughout the whole recruitment process.

I promptly rushed across the hall to Parvati’s room to tell her. I started talking before I noticed the other girl on her couch…crap. I couldn’t stop without being really awkward so I tried to tell her about the message in the most neutral way possible, emphasizing that Katie Bell had in no way told me I would be going back to Bill and had put in special effort to tell me to consider all the sororities I had been asked back to. The girl on the couch, who I’ll call Fleur, gave me a dirty look nonetheless. She told me she was in Ginny and what Katie Bell had done was horrible. She told me she had been sick and hadn’t been on the rush floor since the first day, which was why I hadn’t seen her. I explained to her about leading Young Life and she asked me incredulously, “You lead Young Life and you’re considering Bill?!” Parvati glared at her and insisted that that was ridiculous, that I should ignore the reputations, etc. I agreed with her but I felt like I shouldn’t show partiality to Bill because I had already dug myself into a hole with this girl. She proceeded to interrogate me about my experiences with Ginny and insist that all of my unfavorable impressions were wrong. It was basically the most uncomfortable conversation ever but at least in having it I was assured she wouldn’t tell on Katie because she was also breaking the rules by talking to me.

The next morning I went to meet my friend, Molly, and we went for a walk together. I told her about my dilemma with Bill and she assured me that she thought being a leader and joining Bill wouldn’t be a conflict of interests. I didn’t realize she had actually rushed her freshman year. She told me a story about her rush experience that I think was meant to make me feel better but instead terrified me. It went as follows:

Freshman year, Molly and all of her friends rushed. All of her friends really liked Fred and ended up putting down Fred on Pref night. Molly, however, had liked Ron all week and girls in Ron had told her that they could see her in a leadership position in their sorority. Molly also had connections to Percy, though, so she ended up attending both on Pref night. She didn’t suicide but wasn’t planning on accepting a bid from Percy. Bid day, all her friends received their bids from Fred and she opened her card to reveal…Percy. She was absolutely crushed. Later, some Rons told her that they didn’t understand what had happened, that they thought because she was a legacy at Percy she had been put so high up on their list and the computer put her there…(keep in mind I’m not saying this is true or even possible, this is just what they told her). The moral of the story ended up being that even though Molly was really upset, so many things worked out in her life that wouldn’t have happened had she been in a sorority, so even though she didn’t end up Greek, she ended up where she was supposed to be. I went home feeling better about Bill but terrified of a similar situation happening with Percy.

Pref night, the rush group had noticeably thinned. The nervous chatter was strained until we got our slips. I opened mine to reveal:














Percy
Bill

I felt a curious mix of emotions. I was a little hurt I hadn’t been asked back to Ginny, but I had kind of known after Philanthropy day. At least I wouldn’t have to make the choice between Ginny and Bill. I honestly wondered how anyone ever got dropped from Percy; I had been careful not to be rude, but I wasn’t engaging at all and my discomfort had to have been palpable. I knew I would need to be respectful during their Pref ceremony, though, because many of the girls who attended their Pref ceremony (rather than dropping out) were going to be the girls joining. That was wonderful for them and I wasn’t going to ruin it for them.

I don’t want to go too much into detail about the Pref ceremonies in case I give anything away, but I’ll briefly sum up:

At Percy, I was pref’ed by the one rusher I had clicked with best, who was also pref’ing one other girl. The ceremony was pretty but I felt completely out of place. I once again expressed uncertainty. For some reason, the topic of going to parties was brought up by the girl pref’ing me which I thought was inappropriate for Pref night. I think she might have just been trying to show us that the girls in Percy weren’t socially inept, but that wasn’t the best way to do it.

Katie Bell pref’d me at Bill. The ceremony was beautiful, and I even teared up a bit. The majority of the Bills cried as well. I left knowing that although I knew some girls there fit the stereotype, I was willing to give Bill a try if they would have me.

I debated about suicide bidding for awhile, but Hermione told me she would hate for things to get messed up because of that, so I filled out my bid card:

1. Bill
2. Percy,

went home, and hoped for the best.

I love this story! You are doing a great job of making it interesting, and I love hearing your unfiltered thoughts.

Also, kudos on being respectful even at the chapters that didn't interest you. It's the mature thing to do, and you are right, there are other women who may love that chapter. It would be pretty ignorant to let your thoughts ruin that for them.

Not possible, unless they are using some very strange rush software.

Or if they're using the HAL 9000.

"I'm sorry, Molly, I'm afraid I can't give you a bid to Ron."

Every time I see the name of this thread, I hear the Harry Potter Puppet Pals song in my head with "Ron, Ron, Ron.. Ron Weasley"