i didn't mean to come off so badly. i really apologize if i did. i was just wondering if anyone had advice. i love my chapter, i just don't know if it's the right fit for me personally. it's still a spectacular group of people.

I know, but I said "probably", and if the dates are earlier, that's another strike against her.

Plus, people will notice she's going through again, even at a big school.

No. Formal recruitment to formal recruitment = 1 year.

I think that's a "spirit vs. letter of the law" thing. When a PNM signs her pref card, she does so knowing that if she matches and doesn't like the chapter she matches to, she can't just drop out and COB at a chapter she likes better - she has to wait a year. If bid day 2011 is 364 days later than bid day 2010, she's pretty much waited a full year.

this(^^^) is right.

It's what I meant before. I got myself all caught up in the dates and the calendars and the whoozywhatsits.

Even without the 1 year business, the deck is stacked against somebody who does this. If you love your chapter but depledge a week before initiation, doesn't that make you a poor risk as a pnm?

I'm not sure this would be acceptable at a competitive school like OU, rule or no rule.

Only the pledge class was mentioned but this is a larger school, so it isn't like your chapter total is 30 and you don't get along with everyone, so reach out to the other sisters. So what they like to party, you can find other people to hang out with, there will be new members next year, and two years after that you will be an alumna and have all kinds of sisters from other chapters.

Or you could not initiate and go through rush again, but if your choices were limited the first time probability is you will have the same, if not less choices the second time. If you think you're so right for a sorority and need to be in one, dropping now and trying again is probably not going to make that reality happen. Your ship is sailing, and there may not be another one at the dock.

Honestly, I get annoyed when girls complain that they're not best friends with their PC by initiation. There's no way you can be best friends in 6 weeks. Ultimately, YOU have to put in the time and effort to get close to the girls. Some of my closest sisters in my PC were ones that I barely talked to before initation.

That is soooo true. My closest friends were not in my pledge class.

It's a big chapter, and it takes time to know everybody. My best friend in the sorority was somebody I really didn't know until after initiation. I would have missed so much if I hadn't given things a chance!

Did anyone else keep hearing Janet Jackson saying "edit" as they read this thread?

Yes! I thought I was the only one who thought that! :)

An "edit" doesnt do much good if others have quoted the OP before the "edit" took place... I'm just sayin :)

I think there is just way too much movies/tv going on in the fantasy lives of PNMs and new members. There are also no naked pillow fights for the guys out there who think that's what sorority life is. When all of us talk about lifelong friendships and how special our individual chapter and GLO is I can say without hesitation that almost every one of us regretted joining at one point or another. Your pledge class is a fraction of your chapter, and only fake girls make BFFs in a minute and a half. Your first semester of college is a whirlwind of confusion. Unless there is something seriously wrong with this chapter, just stick it out. It will become what you want over the next 4 years and into the rest of your life. And there will be the candle-passings (or kitty passings - whatever your chapter's deal is) where you are emotional and really feel like you're a sorority girl, but most of the time it's just your life.

Try to put on a reality hat and see what is REALLY missing from your experience. And then if you really do feel there's something missing or wrong, then sure, drop out, but assume you won't get another shot.

I wouldn't use the word "regret", but were there times when I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and say, "I give up"...then walk out the door. And I agree that just about every one of us has felt that way at least once. It's not all warm fuzzies and I get frustrated when new members think they don't belong in the chapter because they aren't friends with everyone. My chapter was small and there were still people I actively disliked. I treated them with respect as a sister, but I didn't seek out their company. You can't expect to be BFF with this many women. My closest friends are generally not from my sorority at all, and only one is from my pledge class. And I still had a great experience. It was fun, but more importantly, it taught me a lot about interacting with others and leadership...lessons that have been and will be valuable to me as an adult.

OP, if the reasons you want to quit are: you feel you don't have friends in your pledge class and you don't like that the chapter has the lowest GPA...you aren't trying hard enough, and you're probably not really giving the women in the chapter a chance. It's easy to think, "I'd be so much happier in XYZ". But you do not know that. I guarantee you not everyone in your chapter parties hard. Find the women that don't. Ask the partiers to do something that doesn't involve booze or boys. It's up to you to make it work and you can, you just don't see that right now. Think of it as your chance to have a positive impact on those around you. How about throwing yourself into the chapter, getting involved, and taking an officer position? You would be able to encourage the women around you to bring their GPAs up. And remember that sorority membership is life long. This is 4 years out of 80+.

If you decide to drop, do it because you have really thought it through and have been honest with yourself. Have you really tried to make this work? Don't do it to belong to another sorority. Your chances are minuscule and you might very well find yourself in this same position with another chapter. The grass always seems greener, but we've all learned one way or another that sometimes it's just not. Sorority membership isn't supposed to be perfect at all times. Just like family relations, or close friendships. You're supposed to learn and grow from the experiences you have in the chapter, and while most of them will be positive, some of them won't be. In the long run, that's a good thing. It's supposed to be more than a four year sleep over.

Expecting an 18 year old college kid to always act maturely will always result in disappointment. She should not give up all hope of being Greek.