You don't know why they asked you back. And even if she said it was numbers, you were still asked back over other girls who could have been invited. They still wanted you.
Also, I don't think it's right to say the woman who preffed you was disinterested in her sorority. If a pnm came in at pref and told me she had "found a home elsewhere" and was not interested in my chapter, I probably wouldn't try too hard to convince her otherwise.

It wasn't that the sister I spoke to on Pref Night was the only one who seemed disinterested, the sister who picked me up the first day was the exact same way.

I was not promised a bid from any house ever. There was always the "hopefully we see you tomorrow!" said but never anything that gave me false hope about being invited back.

And I talked to my RG about what I should do in regards to my options for Pref Night and she advised me to not suicide, but rather list all my options (which was what I did-now I wish I had suicided).

I'm still confused about why you would put this house that was so horrible (whether that's fair or not, it's what you think) on your card at all.

Then why would you say "I've already found a home elsewhere?"

And it was 2 sisters (out of however many) who seemed disinterested? And for one of them, that was after you basically said "I'm just here for the food"?

Just trying to understand.

It really upsets me when a girl does not accept her bid. That means that another girl who really wanted to be in XYZ is not there and you are in her place. I understand not suiciding but if you absolutely know you would not accept a bid to a group that wants you then perhaps it would be best to sit in your room alone drowning in your tears than to cause others to be effected including the chapter who was looking forward to greeting you on bid day as a new sister.

If she declined her bid, I do believe that leaves it open for snap bidding. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

It's not that they can't snap bid. The girls can fill to quota. It's just the principle that this girl took a spot from someone. Lucky for the snap bid girl I guess but still...

But... then she's not taking it from anyone. Pledging then dropping out before initiation would be taking it from someone.

I mean, I guess had she never put them on her pref card at all then it *might* have changed the way the cards fell in terms of who got bids to where but that's a big "might" since we don't know the order of the bid lists or who got what where anyhow.

See I never understood rejecting a bid on bid day. If you are stuck anyway for a year, why not try out the organization for a little bit?

But again, a couple of bad rushers does not a bad chapter make. Not to mention, you told the active on Pref that you weren't interested in her house. How interested in rushing you was she supposed to be?

I'm working on the assumption that you knew before you signed the card that if you got a bid but did not accept it you would be bound for one year. So despite what your RG said, I don't understand listing the chapter you knew you wouldn't accept a bid from. I was advised not to suicide as a freshman PNM, but did so anyway because (at the time) I thought I would ONLY be happy in my chapter and was willing to risk not getting a bid rather than getting a bid from my second choice and being bound for a year. If you know, don't list.

While it's possible to snap after someone declines, it's better if you can do so before the bids are handed out, or before bid day activities start so that the snapped member doesn't feel apart from her pledge class.

She got the bid, and then declined and though that chapter could bid to quota/total still, they thought they were offering a bid to someone who wanted them.
It's not always a matter of logic.

If the chapter is having as much trouble w/ numbers as the OP says then whether she "took" a spot is most likely a moot point. There are plenty of spots beyond quota and up to total to fill.

And if the chapter has to give out bids/a girl has to accept a bid the weekend or any other time after bid day? Sorry but boo freaking hoo. Trust me, you're not going to be wandering around with paper bags on your feet when you're 50 saying "I could have had a great life if I'd only gone to bid day!!" What you get out of it over the years is the important thing.

Because then everyone will see you walking around as an XYZ pledge and get that image in their mind. I honestly think T A & M is big enough for that to not be an issue, but I could be wrong.

Oh, and 3 words: nonrefundable pledge fee. These are on the steep side sometimes.

She should have suicided, but she didn't. End of story.

Thank you for clarifying. I know my way around the Texas system in general terms, but as a fraternity guy I am not intimately familiar with all of the minutiae of sorority rush. So on that score, I have to defer to the sorority members who have posted on the specifics of preffing/suiciding and what might have been best. You have heard from some of the best and most experienced posters on greekchat.

And to reiterate a key point I can speak to- if the chapter was trying to meet quota and had not, amperches did not cost anyone else a bid by going all the way through and declining what was offered.

In a more general sense without getting into the specifics, once you found yourself in the spot of getting this bid and no other- I appreciate and understand your reaction. No matter what you might have said during parties, it hardly is going to make you enthusiastic to feel like the sorority you rushed is just trying to fill quota.

I am sorry it did not work out for you, and however you got there- for what it is worth I totally understand why you declined your bid. This is one of those cases where- based on what you have posted- it makes very good sense to say no and move on.

As for the future, you seem a very sensible person to me. You now know that it is going to be very hard to rush as a junior, and so I say have a great sophomore year and see how you feel come next summer. As calm and considered as you have been in your posts here, I get the feeling that you will make a wise decision and be just fine with whatever path evolves.

Essentially, you're used goods if you end up leaving. Susie Q pledged XYZ and dropped, do we really want her in ABC? At huge schools this might not be as noticeable, but if you're the only person who does this then you'll probably stand out. Even if you dropped for the best reasons, there is still doubt about the person.

Additionally to the OP, if you didn't get the house you wanted as a sophomore, what makes you think you'll be selected the next time around?