GreekChat.com Forums - "Go in with an open mind."

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- - "Go in with an open mind." (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=115141)

^ditto. There are a number of houses on my campus alone who are considered "party houses" but also have straight laced girls, christian girls, studious girls, whatever in the chapter.

Also, I don't suggest asking questions about socials and whatnot to see if theyre a party chapter... any booze talk is kinda taboo.

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Originally Posted by BeeBee23 (Post 1963092)

Also, I don't suggest asking questions about socials and whatnot to see if theyre a party chapter... any booze talk is kinda taboo.

YOU asking a chapter if they party a lot (or asking too much about their social activities) might lead them to think that YOU are a "party girl" yourself.

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Originally Posted by BeeBee23 (Post 1963092)

Also, I don't suggest asking questions about socials and whatnot to see if theyre a party chapter... any booze talk is kinda taboo.

There would be no booze talk as I'm aware of the rule against talking about it. But I was under the impression bringing up social events was okay or perhaps mentioning that I stayed in last night baking undercooked brownies and watching The Rescuers with my roommate.
And I'm sure you can find a certain type of girl in every sorority, but, in a different one, the majority will be that type. I don't see the point of altering questions for every sorority. If ABC is known as the extremely conservative group and their dresses are really short, it'll be a conundrum and the point will be moot, but it's worth making a note of whether they're dressed like they're Amish or heading to a club.

I think youre reading too much into things. The chapters at SEC schools are soooo big that honestly, no matter where you get a bid there will be a group of girls who you will click with and you will become friends with. Regardless of if your bid comes from a top, bottom, middle, random house you knew nothing about, or a house where you knew several of the actives.

Don't worry about asking questions to determine reputation...in fact I suggest not doing that. Focus more on your conversation flowing naturally and making a good first impression rather than trying to read into what the girls are wearing, and what kinds of pictures are hanging on the walls, and what Random Active Betty said about a social they had. Just talk the girls naturally and enjoy the conversations and THEN decide if you liked that party/house.

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Originally Posted by BeeBee23 (Post 1963107)

Agreed. Movies and tv shows especially portray sororities with these stereotypical categories as if they were different lunch tables in the high school cafeteria.
ie ABC are sporty girls, DEF are the classy rich girls, GHI are skanks and XYZ are losers. (I'm picturing a scene from Mean Girls lol).

At a school with such a large greek community, every sorority is diverse. The point of not listening to tent talk and keeping an open mind is to realize that categorizing the sororities like that is inaccurate and can put you at a disadvantage if you allow them to cloud your judgement.

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Originally Posted by TakeALook (Post 1963057)

Isn't it possible to be aware of the tiers and reputations and not get caught up in them? Like, if I fall in love with the "ugly, fat girl" sorority, I'm still going to join it, but I'd like to know that other people have that stereotype so that I can actively work against it. Or, if I fall in love with the top tier, big name sorority, it's probably better to know that they are so competitive so that if/when they cut me, it's not devastating, right?
There has to be a way to hear all of the tent talk and take it with multiple grains of salt.

Sure you can try and do that, but Greek Chat is not a place where you will find people telling you about tiers or reputations.

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Originally Posted by TakeALook (Post 1963078)

You guys make a lot of excellent points.
No, I'm not going to let some girl I meet under a tent completely alter my opinion about a certain group. However, if she reiterates statements that I've heard from seven other people that ABC is full of party girls, I'm going to take that information and ask questions when I go to that house about their social events to see how much emphasis they really put on partying while, if I hadn't heard about their reputation, I probably wouldn't ask the question. If the girl started gushing about how they go out at least 5 times a week so it's always a guaranteed good time, I'm going to know that ABC isn't really my scene since I like to go out a maximum of once a week. Does that make sense?
I get the whole "it goes both ways thing" and respect it.
Also, reputation matters. I don't mean that in a "omg i lyke totes want 2 b in XYZ cuz teh frats luv them" way, but in a "I'm going to wear a shirt with my letters on it and you're going to judge me for it and I'd like to be prepared for the things you think" way. It doesn't matter whether the reputation is based of fact or entirely fabricated because those people are going to treat you according to that reputation anyway. Yes, I would disregard a less-than-excellent reputation if I loved 100% of the girls in DEF and knew it was perfect, but if I loved 60% and couldn't yet decide if I felt "at home," a reputation I'd have to battle constantly would be a factor worth considering.
Social probation is something I have never even considered. Thankfully, none of the chapters at my school will be on social probation this fall (unless they royally screw up in the next few weeks)
I fully understand and agree with giving every chapter an equal chance regardless of whatever information you may have heard about them, but I don't think seeking the information is bad if you do it properly. One of my favorite houses going into this process is a middle tier at best sorority so, while I don't really care about tiers, I want to know what they are and what the dynamics have been for the past few years (as you said, things can change). But, then again, I'm also that girl who always needs to know what time it is for absolutely no reason. I guess I just like to know things, to be aware and ready.

No, people will treat YOU for the person YOU are. Even if in the back of their heads, they are holding onto a giant generalization about ABC, none of that matters once someone meets you and gets to know you.

And how do you seek the "truth" properly? What is the truth and who knows it? Whothe boys say are the "hottest", who the non-affiliated girls say are the "sluttiest", or who the lacrosse team thinks are the "partiers"?

If you gathered all the sorority members and fraternity members, all the sports teams, all the sisters/cousins/mothers/professors who have an opinion on which sorority is the (insert stereotype here) sorority, what would the results be? I'd bet that there would be few "stand outs" in any given category. Why? Because it's all based on perspective.

The only concrete truths you have at your disposal (if they are all advertised) are things like GPA, social calendars, philanthropy projects, awards and Greek Week standings. Then again, it's just words on paper, because you are missing the key element - the people - the members themselves.

I think that enough people here have given you suggestions. You are free to find any information you want and believe it. These women are trying to help you have a successful recruitment. If you don't want to listen and think that you know the best way to approach recruitment, then why did you come here?

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Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 1963296)

I think that enough people here have given you suggestions. You are free to find any information you want and believe it. These women are trying to help you have a successful recruitment. If you don't want to listen and think that you know the best way to approach recruitment, then why did you come here?

You are quite snippy. I just wanted to discuss something that I didn't understand. There's no guarantee that I'll agree with the masses at the end of it all.
And, as I have said before, I think you can seek the information, but require it to be validated or take it with a grain of salt. I am of the opinion that it is good to be aware of the various things people associate with an organization, but, as I also said before, it doesn't affect how I'll go into rush and interact with the girls. I'm going to be trying to find a connection with every house, regardless of what I have heard.

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I think that's an overstatement. You're describing what everyone SHOULD do, and what mature, knowledgeable people WILL do. But come on -- there are going to be shallow people out there who will treat you like an ABC no matter how well they get to know you. There will also be people who refuse to get to know you well in the first place because you're ABC. This has nothing to do with the Greek system; the world just has shallow people in it. Now, those people are idiots and maybe you don't want to be friends with them anyway, so it's no loss. But it does happen.
________
HotBaby18 cam

If you want TRUTH as far whether groups are on probation or have been involved in this or that, check out the school paper. Yes it's not always 100% on the money but they will NOT say "PQR received a 2 year probation" if that's a complete fairy tale.

If there are groups who don't do things the other groups are doing - i.e. they don't sing when you're walking in the house and everyone else did - ask your Rho Chi what's up with that. Do NOT ask anyone in another chapter, that's putting them in a really uncomfortable spot. It may be they just freaking hate singing, but it also may be this is part of a probation.

However, as far as certain groups being "the party sorority" "the geek sorority" etc, I think that the chapters at SEC schools are so big that there's going to be someone in any one that you can connect with. The diversity leads to their being overall homogenous.

There's a difference between being worried for your safety, and being worried that people are going to say stupid crap.

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Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1963314)

There's a difference between being worried for your safety, and being worried that people are going to say stupid crap.

Exactly.

People have something to say about EVERY CHAPTER.

Even the perceived "best chapter on campus" has crazy rumors and bad rep associated with it.

Example: XYZ might have all the prettiest, most involved girls, win all the awards and be considered the "holy grail" of sorority recruitment.

There will still be fraternity guys, PNMs, girls in other sororities who say things like "they're the slutty chapter" or "all they do is party and snort coke."

Or ABC could have lots of athletes and always win intramurals.

There will still be folks who say "ABC is full of lesbians and they won't take anyone who doesn't play a sport."

Is any of this true? Of course not. The chapters at larger schools really are too big to claim any sort of "they're all _____" kind of statement.

Any chapter you end up in will have some negative stereotype associated with it. No chapter is immune to it.

I still dont get why you feel it's best to know reps ahead of time if you intend on pledging a chapter regardless of their rep so long as you liked them during recruitment..... ????

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Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1963321)

Any chapter you end up in will have some negative stereotype associated with it. No chapter is immune to it.

And understand this. It's a good point to make. How those stereotypes affect your life after you become a member of a sorority is also not something you can be immune to.

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Originally Posted by BeeBee23 (Post 1963339)

I still dont get why you feel it's best to know reps ahead of time if you intend on pledging a chapter regardless of their rep so long as you liked them during recruitment..... ????

Say ABC is known as "the rich sorority" and is the favorite sorority for greek-bashers to hate on because their house is so nice, they are a "top tier" chapter at my school and they are known for having southern money. If I rush and love everyone in this house, feel at home, and get a bid from ABC, I'm going to join it because all of those positives are enough to outweigh the fact that the anti-greek community will judge me.
However, if I'm torn between ABC and DEF (an unknown, bottom tier sorority that rarely gets picked on), I'll consider the reputation as a part of my decision. Being "top tier" is not always an easy reputation to handle.
It's not so much wanting to know the tiers or reputations in order to know which sororities are "the good ones," but rather trying to understand the stigma surrounding certain letters in order to be able to weigh it as a factor in the decision process.

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Originally Posted by TakeALook (Post 1963361)

but rather trying to understand the stigma surrounding certain letters in order to be able to weigh it as a factor in the decision process.

Why should you care? You decide to rush because it is something YOU want to do. By the same token you decide on a sorority because YOU feel like you fit in. What Joe Smoe on the street thinks about the organizations shouldn't be entering your mental process at all.