Disclaimer, I'm not a girl, but I don't think that changes much about my experience as chapter president.

I was where you were a year ago - it sucks. A lot. I think the worst thing someone can leave out of officer transition retreats is how things change. Your relationships with other members of the chapter changes, your outlook on chapter operations changes, and your position on major chapter decisions changes too.

Strive for congruence in decision making, make sure that your choices are in the best interest of your chapter (and not your own) and follow the rules so you have ground to stand on in opposition.

Reach out to other Greeks. Some of the closest interfraternal friendships I've made have come from the year I was president. I found myself wanting to talk about my Greek experience with people outside my chapter who would understand where I was coming from. These friends can be a great sounding board for new ideas and keep things positive.

A good thing to remember is to avoid the downward spiral conversation - you know, when you talk and talk about things that are going wrong and don't get anywhere. Instead try to take the negatives that come out in conversation and turn them into a solution for the issue. Semi related: give yourself an minute of self pity and then get over it - I think it can be productive to take a "woe is me" moment if you can move on quickly. "Superman" by Five for Fighting was (and still is) my whiny "I'm so misunderstood" song. Again, don't forget that you need to move on quickly.

You've mentioned other members of the chapter you are still close with - this is good, and they can be a great sounding board too, but be careful. You want to try to be available to everyone in the chapter and having your "inner circle" can create an us against them mentality. (I'm not saying you've done this, just that you should be conscious of it.)

Finally, don't forget that your organization is bigger than just your chapter (I think, you haven't mentioned...). It can be really comforting to remember that there is life in your organization beyond your college years and college drama. I grew to appreciate my international organization so much more when I felt a little isolated from my chapter

Good luck!

(Also, I'm not going to presume your faith life, but like TriDeltaSallie I found that to be very helpful - if you're into that.)

I've been there- still am there, in some ways. If you want to talk it out and vent (without judgement, cause I for shiz get it) PM me.

I started this thread a few months ago- I got some really great advice. Hopefully, it will help you too. :) Link

After reading this I had a chat with my President to tell him how much I appreciated everything he does for our chapter.

Honestly, if I were you, I would just copy and paste this post and send it to your chapter.

On the other side of the train-tracks, it's easy to forget how much your President does for you, and it's easy to get mad when he/she makes a decision you disagree with. Letting your chapter know how hard it is for you to make these decisions, and how alienated you feel by them, will help humanize you to the new members and remind the older members why they elected you.

Also, try and take some time to find out why these people seem to be turning against you. You might find out that they have some legitimacy in their disgruntlement. I remember when I was Recruitment Chairman, it took one of my committee members getting pissed off for me to realize how much of an ass I was being.

My favorite trick of all: Voting. Even when the decision seems to be cut-and-dry have a vote on it. Either ask your EC or your entire chapter to make a decision that you would normally make on your own. You will establish what I like to call "chapter buy-in".

I remember when our Philanthropy Chairman was charged with trying to double the number of Service hours our chapter did each semester. He opened up a committee meeting, and he asked the chapter to decide on what they should do. The chapter decided to start requiring each member to complete a specific number of hours each semester. It was what he would have probably done if he came to the decision by himself, but because the whole chapter got to help make the decision, it was much easier to swallow.

Although I'm in a fraternity, I was VP of my chapter last year and can definitely understand how you feel (alienation, loss of passion for your chapter, etc.)

What helped me was my friendships with non-brothers and always having someone I could talk to. Try speaking to older members or alumni that held positions of leadership in the past- they will sympathize with you the most and offer great advice.

The main thing that would always help me was when I thought back to what made me passionate about my organization in the first place. Think about your fondest memories, your ritual and creed, what makes XYZ the best place for you, and so on.

I know it's tough, and it may not be the answer you want to feel, but I think it won't get any better until you're no longer president. Such was the case for me and it took me a few months after my term of office to re-assimilate into my chapter.

Until then, whenever you're having a hard time, think back to what made you run for president in the first place and why you love your sorority.

Wow, ya'll have brought me near to tears. Thank you so much for your support; this is something that I have really been struggling with internally for quite some time now. I didn't realize that feelings like mine are (somewhat) common when in a position of leadership. Also, sorry for the gender discrimination! Right after I posted this, I thought to myself that maybe I should changes "girls" to "GCers" but then got lazy. Lol!

sanjiyan69 and AOEforme: Thank you for the support and advice. I definitely will try to put the effort out there now to make outings with different sisters normal in my life, because really, isn't that what sisterhood is about? It's just hard to remember sometimes.

33girl: I do reach out to recent alum, but unfortunately, the previous President checked out the second she went alum. She won't even answer my phone calls, so I end up reaching out to other alum, but even then, some of those sisters can't take themselves out of a situation and look at something unbiased. (This specifically just recently happened... of course).

TriDeltaSallie: "Do everything by the book." This is something one of my org's WAY back Presidents told me, and I have been living by it. I even told my org and EC that that is how my year in office would go, and everyone was just fine with it, until it meant me ruling against something they wanted. And I will DEFINITELY be on GC a lot more, as I now see that ya'll really can provide a great support system. Honestly, I'm overwhelmed by the responses I've received.

Gusteau: Hearing you mention a "Officer Transition Retreat" makes me realize how much emphasis other orgs put on officers being prepared for their job. As I mentioned earlier, the President before me checked out once she went alum, and that meant the only help with the transition I received was her giving me a binder with a ton of unorganized papers and forms. I had never felt so unprepared for anything.

SmileAWhile: I will definitely be PMing you later on, when I'm more awake. Lol.

ScarletBlueGold: Haha, voting has become something I have relied on. I agree, it is definitely a way to get members to have a part in the decision-making, while still being able to make the right choice. I'm with you on that!

JohnnyCash: Thank you for reminding me that I have to focus on the good. It is a mentality that I have been trying to employ for a while, but I can't get it to stick sometimes. Hearing this from other people (and reading the Stories of Sisterhood thread {although I kind of doubt you've read it}) has really helped me remember that I DO love my sorority, and that I had always wanted to be the President of my sorority because I knew how much I love my sisters, and that would allow me to make good decisions for them. And I believe that it probably won't change until I'm no longer President, but now I feel a little more confident to try to change that.

I'd ask for help from the president before her then. Checking out is a survival skill that seniors use to deal with loss and separation. It takes 3-5 years sometimes for this to be overcome. Don't take it personally.