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- - Please Help! I just have questions... (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=110936)

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891649)

Leaving now over just before initiation doesn't give me any less time I have to wait, then? If I drop out now I have to wait just as long until I wait until before Initiation (which is late March/ early April)? Just want to check!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1891651)

From my understanding yes. IIRC it is a calender year from when you accept your bid. so if you drop the day after bid day or the day before intation, you have the same wait. NPC feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

No need, you're correct. It's one year, so the next time she would be eligible to try for "ZBZ" or any group other than "Tri Pi" is day 1 of formal recruitment next year.

vf, you are locked in regardless. If you absolutely know there is no way you can be happy in "Tri Pi", then drop now before they spend excess energy on you and get emotionally invested in you as their sister. But you must have seen something in them to have kept returning to their parties and to have listed them on your preference card. It's too late to change what you put on your pref card, but you can get to know these women better and give it an honest chance at becoming part of their sisterhood. They wanted you as a sister for a reason. Consider too that your sisterhood is for a lifetime, not just at that school. Consider what the local chapter has to offer you, what being Greek at your school has to offer, and what lifetime membership in "Tri Pi" brings. And, of course, there is no guarantee that "ZBZ" or any other group would give you a bid next year.

And in case you weren't sure, once you initiate you cannot join another NPC group. No matter what. Anywhere. Period.

Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891653)

:( I didn't know this at the time! I wish I had!

Well really, it's water under the bridge at this point and there is nothing you can do about it now.

Concerning staying in Tri Pi and making the best of it, I suggest reading these 2 posts (and really that whole thread is good) Best of luck with your decision:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...&postcount=219

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...&postcount=220

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891627)

A NOT hypothetical situation, but I'll use cheesy Greek code to explain what is going on here:

I attend Cyprus Rhodes University and just went through Formal Recruitment. At the end of Pref Night I listed my choices putting ZBZ first, Tri Pi second, and IKI third. I was fairly certain I would get a bid from ZBZ the next morning, as both girls I talked to said "they could really see me there." But, I got a bid from Tri Pi.
Of course I was upset but I went to the Bid Day party. And I really didn't like it. I didn't fit in with my Pledge Class and I was SO not excited to go back for my first new member meeting. I decided to give it a week, so I did, and I still don't like it very much. It's just not the place for me. But I know that ZBZ is!
I have my Pledging-In ceremony THIS Friday and of course want to make my decision to drop out or not before then. I don't know what to do! I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so.
I also know that after signing my Preference List I am bound to a sorority for a full year before I can rush again. BUT, one of the sororities on my Pref Night list was all it said. So does ZBZ technically count? They have snapped maybe like 1 or 2 girls since Bid Day in...could I work my way in w/o getting in trouble with NPC? I am DESPERATE here, let me know any loopholes I can work with! (And suggestions on how to get snapped in/ informally be recruited in--since that is going on right now!)

THANK YOUUUUU!

Once you accepted a bid, you must wait one full calendar year before going through recruitment again. Even though you didn't get a bid from ZBZ, the same rule applies to all sororities. You are ineligible for snap bids, COR, and informal recruitment (if they do it.)

If you weren't going to be happy in Tri Pi or even IKI, I don't understand why you didn't just suicide ZBZ? You got a bid to Tri Pi because they saw something in you and you went to bid day and "didn't like it at all"? Are you serious? How would ZBZ's bid day party be any different? And how do you know that ZBZ "is the place for you"? They obviously didn't think that you would fit in with them.

Honestly, I doubt you took the time to get to know your sisters of Tri Pi. It's only been a week you said and what have you done to get to know your sisters? Have you invited any out to a movie or out for lunch? I can't believe you are complaining after only being in a sorority for a week and you are already making judgments about your pledge sisters and claiming how much you dislike Tri Pi because you are just bitter that you didn't get a bid from ZBZ.

"I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so. "

Such a contradiction. ZBZ didn't want you this time and chances are they probably wouldn't the second time. There is no guarantee that you even get a bid the second time going through formal recruitment.

Just do Tri Pi a favor and depledge. You will never be happy with Tri Pi because you will always think about what might of happened if you did this or that.

May I ask how you do not fit in TriPi? We don't know your school or chapter, so why not share examples?

What makes you KNOW that you would fit in with ZBZ? Why do you think you have another chance (next year) of them wanting you, if you didn't even make it to Pref? (Not being mean, it's an honest question.)

There are no loopholes. You cannot "work your way in" anywhere else.

Name 5 reasons why you think you don't fit into TriPi. I want to see where your mind is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1891656)

Thank you :) This helped. I think a big part of my doubt is that it seems EVERY girl in Tri Pi is SOOOO excited to be there (even since walking in the house on Bid Day) and I've felt like the odd one out.

Also you put Tri Pi second on your list, so you must have liked something about them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891627)

A NOT hypothetical situation, but I'll use cheesy Greek code to explain what is going on here:

I attend Cyprus Rhodes University and just went through Formal Recruitment. At the end of Pref Night I listed my choices putting ZBZ first, Tri Pi second, and IKI third. I was fairly certain I would get a bid from ZBZ the next morning, as both girls I talked to said "they could really see me there." But, I got a bid from Tri Pi.
Of course I was upset but I went to the Bid Day party. And I really didn't like it. I didn't fit in with my Pledge Class and I was SO not excited to go back for my first new member meeting. I decided to give it a week, so I did, and I still don't like it very much. It's just not the place for me. But I know that ZBZ is!
I have my Pledging-In ceremony THIS Friday and of course want to make my decision to drop out or not before then. I don't know what to do! I can't imagine NOT being Greek after I have wanted to for so long, but I definitely know this is not the place for me to do so.
I also know that after signing my Preference List I am bound to a sorority for a full year before I can rush again. BUT, one of the sororities on my Pref Night list was all it said. So does ZBZ technically count? They have snapped maybe like 1 or 2 girls since Bid Day in...could I work my way in w/o getting in trouble with NPC? I am DESPERATE here, let me know any loopholes I can work with! (And suggestions on how to get snapped in/ informally be recruited in--since that is going on right now!)

THANK YOUUUUU!

Boo-Hoo, I didn't get my TOP choice! Geez, what is with all these girls coming on here and crying about not getting their top choice. You say that you have wanted to be Greek for so long, but you just don't feel like you "love" these girls. In reality, you are just saying that you feel you are too good for them. Let us call a spade a spade. I'm not convinced that you just "don't click" with these girls. You accepted a bid. The girls are doing what they can to get to know you. Instead, you go crying in a chat room about not being in your 1st choice.

Many women (and men) on here didn't get their first choice and some people didn't get a bid AT ALL. There are girls out there who would kill for your spot. Stop wasting your sorority's time and either quit (opening up a spot for another DESERVING girl) or suck it up and make it the best you know how.

There are girls, every year, who go bidless. Consider yourself blessed that you were chosen. You sound like a spoiled brat from that Sweet 16 show: Boo-hoo, I wanted a BMW, but I got a VW instead.

These "sisters" of yours don't deserve to be thrown aside because they may not be the "popular" or the "top tier" chapter on your campus. This chapter that you are in may be the bottom on your campus, but I guarantee they are someone else's top choice at another campus. You get no sympathy from me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vanityfair5 (Post 1891660)

Not every single girl is going to feel 100% happy the first week.

Don't panic.

Don't sulk.

Make a genuine effort to build relationships.

It takes time, but it can happen.

you listed zbz first on your bid card. if they had listed you on their bid list, you would be a zbz now. because you heard they snap bidded people, meaning they had not reached quota, and they had spaces to fill, they undoubtedly did not think you would be a good fit for their chapter. it is unlikely that that will change next year.

your 2nd choice did want you-that's how you ended up with their bid. get to know them better and give them a chance. you can depledge the day of your initiation(before the ceremony) if you decide you need to, with no more consequences than if you quit today, but before you do, do yourself a favor and ask yourself if it is better to not be greek if you cannot be a zbz?

I think you might slightly be sabotaging yourself with a self fulfilling prophecy, and not giving the sorority that wanted you as a sister a fair chance. Sure other women are OMFG TRI PI 'TIL I DIE but stop basing your expectations on how others are reacting and realize there isn't any magic kool aid passed around to feel this way. You can spend your time pining away for ZBZ (which you didn't get a bid to, for whatever reason, sometimes it just happens) or you can take that energy and use it on giving Tri Pi a chance.

What do you have to lose by accepting reality and not fantasy?

Seriously? There isn't a single woman amongst the actives and your new member class that you think you could be friends with? Have you really tried to get to know them or are you too wrapped up in your disappointment?

Read FSUZeta's post carefully.

You are hung up on ZBZ and they did not extend you a bid. You need to accept that.

The Tri Pi's are good girls who liked you and wanted you. I would guess that the reason you feel awkward is that deep down you still want to be a ZBZ. It's not that the Tri Pis are bad; it's that they are not ZBZ.

My advice: Make it work.

vanity fair:
i don't think these people will be helpful in answreing ur questions. ive been on here 4 an hour and nooone has answered mine. i dont get it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by i <3 myself (Post 1891781)

vanity fair:
i don't think these people will be helpful in answreing ur questions. ive been on here 4 an hour and nooone has answered mine. i dont get it.

This just gets better and better. No one will take you seriously because you are a troll.

Quote:

Originally Posted by i <3 myself (Post 1891781)

vanity fair:
i don't think these people will be helpful in answreing ur questions. ive been on here 4 an hour and nooone has answered mine. i dont get it.

No one has answered your question because you are asking about membership selection info, which is private.