And not to be a debbie downer, but what if you break up with your non-Greek boyfriend that lavaliered you? What would you do with the lavalier? It's a technical question, because I'm sure you'd wear it, but it's like wearing a promise ring after you break up. Having been the recipient of one of those (a promise ring), I never quite felt right wearing it after, even though I loved it.

Not necessarily. It varies greatly from one campus to another.


I think it's strange to ask to be lavaliered especially by a non-Greek. I would go with the promise ring that's been mentioned. Or here's an odd idea; make a lavalier out of your initials.

We actually put it into a our Constitution four years ago that only brothers may wear our letters, but I know that many other fraternities do allow it for something like a lavalier. If the fraternity allows it, then I guess they are a brother's to give.

Yeah, but did you have a ceremony within your chapter or was it just a question of him buying the lavalier for you as a present? There's a difference between buying someone a lavalier and lavaliering them. What you're talking about, your parents could have done just as well.

Can your brothers give their girlfriend a necklace with the fraternity jewel on it or something like that? That is, do you allow for anything else that can show a "promise" between a brother and his girlfriend?

Good question. We don't have an official jewel, so that's not an option. The decision four years ago was the result of conversations that had been going on for a while and reflected the practice of most chapters. I know there was some discussion about a lavalier-substitute when the decision was formally made, and I can remember there were some suggestions, but so far the only thing we seem to offer officially is a sweetheart charm or necklace. (I think we actually told Herff Jones to stop offering lavaliers for us.)

I guess the sweetheart necklace would do in a pinch, but perhaps chapters are developing their own traditions here, or perhaps something official will still come out later.

No. You can't. You can try, but you'll probably have at least one member of a fraternity in your face asking you about it.

op, your girlfriend could have a candlepass,white candle, candlelight or whatever her sorority calls it if you got engaged.

Sorry about that. This topic was originally posted in the Kappa Alpha Theta forum. I originally deleted your post trying to keep it on topic but then I realized the whole thread really didnt have anything to do with Theta, so I deleted my own reply and just moved the thread here.

Thanks for the explanation - I didn't mean to sound like a Bitter Betty, I was just a little bit confused.:)

[QUOTE=33girl;1882861] Yeah, but did you have a ceremony within your chapter or was it just a question of him buying the lavalier for you as a present? There's a difference between buying someone a lavalier and lavaliering them. What you're talking about, your parents could have done just as well.


He was going to do the ceremony w/ the help of my big (who was an alum by this time) but he chickened out and just gave it to me. We're still good friends after having dated for a very long time, and if I had a chain to fit that tiny loop, I'd still be wearing the lavalier. And yes, you're right, it's about the same as just having it bought and given to me, but that's why I'm not against a non-Greek guy doing it as long as it's within the tradition of the chapter (my chapter your big is supposed to give it to you), but if at her's this is not the case then what does it matter who buys it, if they break up, it's her letters and I don't think I'd ever not wear a lettered item I liked regardless of where it came from so I don't see the harm as long as his intentions of what it means are clear.

I'm missing something here. If he was Greek, why didn't he just lavalier you with HIS letters?

The OP's girlfriend wants a full out candlepass. If he's non Greek, there are two options: 1) promise ring or something similar 2) SHE lavaliers HIM with HER letters.

No. Bad 33. He cannot wear her letters as a lavalier. That would be just all kinds of wrongness. Plus, she is the one who wants a necklace like all her friends have.

I'm still not convinced that this is a legit thread, but oh well.

A. Girls should not ask to be lavaliered.

B. Lavaliering is for lame-o's.

Let me clarify my opinion on this matter.

A non-greek man can certainly lavalier his greek girlfriend. Can he give her a lavalier with his letters? Obviously not, as he's not in a fraternity. Can he give her a lavalier with her own letters? No - he doesn't know their significance, and, honestly, it would be weird. But he can give her a pendant to show her that he loves her and he may one day propose. And her sorority may choose to treat this as an equivalent to a fraternity lavalier.

What would you do if you broke up with your greek boyfriend who lavaliered you? What would you do with the lavalier?

Personally, I would give the lavalier back. I had a Greek boyfriend who was an alum and I was still in college. He gave me a letter shirt to wear-which was his equivalent to a lavalier. When we broke up, I gave it back. What would I want with it?