I just got a PajamaGram to put over my newly flat stomach.

Best Greek jackets ever for people who DID switch.

With your new flat stomach, I'm sure you'll be able to find love (FOR FREE!!!) at Eligible Greeks.com (or the free gay dating website. Either works lol)!! But watch out.. I've heard some Crazy NPHC Rumors...

And of course Equifax rules my love life because my credit score (Which is excellent btw) is connected to everything I do.

I found the gay man of my dreams and I'm going to do him on my new Ford's soy-based foam seat.

Don't forget your Progressive car insurance!!!

You can find it using your Google Chrome internet browser.

Meet super sexy Jamacian Muslim Seniors!

They have Muslims in Jamacia now??

One tip for a flat belly? Click here to find out.

Remove cat pee on carpet so it doesn't get on your new purchase from Modern Furniture Warehouse.

(Scared because these two are actually kind of pertinent to my life.)

Help me find my african queen!

Show her your collegiate mugs and cups! I'm sure one of those 140 teams has to impress her!

what's the dish?

I don't know, but I love the belly dancer I hired to serve it at my party.

I'm looking at an ad for Green Cards...who knew you could get citizenship online?!?