Okay, I was initiated at U of A and hold nothing but a special place in my heart for the campus and my chapter, but....

You need to focus on your grades and school. Yes, I'm Greek, but life isn't all about being greek. So weird for me to being saying that huh?

I know it is harder for Juniors to get bids than Freshmen, because froshies have 4 years to give to the chapter, but I'm sure it's not unheard of. Heck, our chapter at ASU got a couple of Juniors!

With that being said focus on getting your grades back up and keeping your grades up. Right off that bat, low grades will cause chapters to immediately cut you.

Now, I was a spring rushee and I loved it. I'm not sure I could have handled formal fall (LOL), but I'm not sure how many chapters will actually participate in spring recruitment.

I don't know the answer to this and you don't either. Unless you are vindictive enough to out the OP, nobody here can predict the outcome of her journal.

Well actually I do know and it has nothing to do with me or vindictiveness, 'k?

I am sorry. I've been putting my foot in my mouth all weekend. When I mentioned non-NPC sororities/fraternities, I didn't mean to imply that they were a "consolation prize." I know it sounds like I said that.

What I meant was that the possibility of being in a non-NPC sorority hadn't occurred to me, EVER, until just this weekend. I don't like 'settling' and wouldn't consider joining a club or organization as such. (What I mean, in other words, is that I don't view having the opportunity to join a GLO, any GLO even a non-NPC one, as settling.) I think they are also filled with amazing people who dedicate so much to their campus and to others.

I know that before, I made it sound like some of the sororities I visited weren't worth my time. That's not at all what I meant and it wasn't what I wanted to sound like. I think that having the opportunity to join an organization, made up of such amazing people, and to be a part of such a long tradition and to have the opportunity to give back to campus, is an opportunity to be thankful for and one I would welcome with open arms.

I know in my rush journal I didn't sound quite like that but it was the day I had been rejected, and I was somewhat hurt and disappointed. I have moved on, grown, and thought about it a lot more. I have a different perspective now, and only hope that I can get others to understand that. My opinion is different now... and yes, I NOW realize that I shouldn't have made my journal public. It is a mistake and I wish I could fix it. If I did somehow hurt anybody's feelings I really didn't mean to... it was nowhere near what I wanted and when I was posting, I wasn't even thinking of those possibilities. All I wanted was to give my family a chance to follow my week, and I didn't even consider the possibility that girls at UA could be reading it too.

I realize that it was a mistake. I'm going to work on my GPA and campus involvement, and try to make a difference. I only hope that I haven't done something irreparable, because as lame as it sounds, if I had known better I certainly wouldn't have.

Yes. Sounds like you have a game plan and definite direction, and that you've learned quite a bit in a short time period.

I am relieved that the mistakes I made as a college freshman (actually, all the way through college and into my 20s) were not memorialized on anything remotely resembling the Internet. With time, memories fade. I burned a lot of journals and truly awful pictures (the hair! the clothes! Gah!) and do I regret it? No!

good luck to you, and I hope you find a home, whether in a sorority or in another group.

For the record I don't know what you wrote or who may have read it. But every year I see more and more PNMs having their Facebook, MySpace, LiveJournals, whatever pix and comments held against them. I'm fairly confident they thought the exact same way the OP did -- it never occurred to them that other people might read it. When you put something out there on the internet for the world to read, you shouldn't be surprised if the world reads it.

Just in case anyone doesn't know this, many Chapters do internet research on PNMs. Employers do too now days. I've heard of scholarship/grant committees checking out applicants as well.

Thank you everybody for your help, advice, and responses. I just have one more question: What exactly is "once cut, always cut"?

hmmm... ok, thanks! :) What if I didn't make it to pref night?

ok, good to know! Thank you for your help!