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-   -   Advice? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=107846)

Azria 10-07-2009 08:49 PM

If there's a sorority that may do COB, but I don't know any sisters in there, should I try to 'shove' my way in (Hopefully someone understands that interpretation) or just move on?

I want to, but I don't want to force my way in by using people. :/

KSUViolet06 10-07-2009 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azria (Post 1855239)
If there's a sorority (or more) that may do COB, but I don't know any sisters in there, should I try to 'shove' my way in (Hopefully someone understands that interpretation) or just move on?

I want to, but I don't want to force my way in by using people. :/

What do you mean?

One can't really "shove" their way into a sorority...

Are you asking if you should befriend sorority members solely with the end goal of getting invited to COB?

If so, I find that sorority members can tell from a mile away when someone is being ultra-nice just so they can get invited to COB.

Just interact with them and meet them in a natural manner, and if someone thinks you may be interested or that you'd make a good member, they'll invite you.

Azria 10-07-2009 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1855242)
What do you mean?

One can't really "shove" their way into a sorority...

Are you asking if you should befriend sorority members solely with the end goal of getting invited to COB?

If so, I find that sorority members can tell from a mile away when someone is being ultra-nice just so they can get invited to COB.

Just interact with them and meet them in a natural manner, and if someone thinks you may be interested or that you'd make a good member, they'll invite you.

Yep, that's what I meant - shove my way into getting an invite. Good point, but that is kind of random - to just walk up to a sister and ask. :x

KSUViolet06 10-07-2009 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azria (Post 1855245)
Yep, that's what I meant - shove my way into getting an invite. Good point, but that is kind of random - to just walk up to a sister and ask. :x

Yeah, that's a "what not to do."

Azria 10-07-2009 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1855246)
Yeah, that's a "what not to do."

Definitely, which is why I see that as 'shoving my way in.' There's no real decent way to ask, without having an ulterior motive. :/

33girl 10-07-2009 11:05 PM

If the GREEK LIFE OFFICE tells you that a certain sorority has inquired about women who are interested in COB, that's teh ONLY time you should approach the sorority.

Otherwise, COB is kind of like the Masons - asking for an invite is taboo. The girls invited are often already friends of sisters, which is the point - COB is to be more relaxed, not having to meet a bunch of people you don't know like regular formal rush.

Psi U MC Vito 10-07-2009 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1855298)

Otherwise, COB is kind of like the Masons - asking for an invite is taboo.

Um hate to break it to you, but you HAVE to ask in order to become a Mason.

MysticCat 10-08-2009 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1855300)
Um hate to break it to you, but you HAVE to ask in order to become a Mason.

Right. That's how it works -- you ask them, they don't ask you. That's why they say, "2B1ASK1."

33girl 10-08-2009 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1855300)
Um hate to break it to you, but you HAVE to ask in order to become a Mason.

Yeah, but I mean you have to get to the point where you feel comfy asking someone and with them sponsoring you. You don't just show up at a meeting and say "can I join" without knowing a soul. (Which is kinda what OP is proposing.)

Save Ferris 10-08-2009 04:39 PM

One, I understand that you haven't said anything overly negative about the sororities mentioned. However, I find the mentioning of the individual sororities to be unnecessary. If someone who graduated from UCR and saw this, perhaps they'd be insulted. If a future PNM from UCR saw this, perhaps their choices would be biased...perhaps I'm oversensitive, but I don't see the point of naming them. You could have gotten your point across just as well without using their names.

Two, we can't make this decision. How did you decide where you wanted to go to college? How did you decide on your major (assuming that you've declared)? It was how you felt, was it not? We can't tell you how to feel and we can't make the choice for you. If you want to go through recruitment again or COB, do it. If you want to go through service or cultural organizations' recruitment, do it but don't do it as a backup. There are plenty of people who'd love to join one and not as a second choice.

Azria 10-08-2009 08:53 PM

^ No idea what the Masons are, unless you mean the historical society.

Obviously, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I only mentioned the names to give an idea of which Panhellenic sororities UCR had for people who are unfamiliar with UCR. I did not give any mention to how any of the sororities behaved; if anything, I only split them up because I just didn't feel the connection. If another girl does, then good for her, but it wasn't for me. If future PNMs consider my opinion/how sisters were when I rushed, then that's their thing to do. Going into rush is about having an open mind (obviously you guys know that well), if an PNM is swayed by the opinion of a stranger, then it'll be on her for maybe disappointment.

I'm not asking anyone to make a choice for me, I'm only asking for advice to see what other opinions are out there; seeing outside the box. They are not my back-ups, they were other choices I was considering because I love community service as an org's main goal and I'm also Asian, so I liked having that as something to have in common. I only brought up Panhellenic, because I preferred them the most + their rush was before the CS/culture ones.

I don't want to have to defend my choices, I only wanted advice.

Buttonz 10-10-2009 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azria (Post 1855505)

I'm not asking anyone to make a choice for me, I'm only asking for advice to see what other opinions are out there; seeing outside the box. They are not my back-ups, they were other choices I was considering because I love community service as an org's main goal and I'm also Asian, so I liked having that as something to have in common. I only brought up Panhellenic, because I preferred them the most + their rush was before the CS/culture ones.

I don't want to have to defend my choices, I only wanted advice.

What does this have to do with anything? :confused:

stargazertechie 10-11-2009 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buttonz (Post 1856154)
What does this have to do with anything? :confused:

Perhaps because she was looking at multicultural orgs as well?

Buttonz 10-11-2009 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stargazertechie (Post 1856338)
Perhaps because she was looking at multicultural orgs as well?

She said for the community serviced based ones. Last I checked it didn't matter what you were.

littleowl33 10-11-2009 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azria (Post 1854496)
I know that, but I'm trying to find out if it's worth trying COB or should I just go ahead with a community service co-ed frat or culture sorority instead.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buttonz (Post 1856353)
She said for the community serviced based ones. Last I checked it didn't matter what you were.

No, she definitely mentioned "culture" orgs.


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