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-   -   I am very nervous that I won't get a bid. (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=106933)

LoveKU28 08-22-2009 09:24 AM

In the end, only one sorority counts. I just rushed last week. After visiting all 13 chapters here on campus the first round, we could go to a max of 8 the second round. I, too, felt really nervous and questioned my reasons of rushing when I only received invites to 4 houses that round.

Just stick with it, because I did and kept being invited back to ADPi, and that was the only house I wanted to be in. Things will work out if you just keep goin'!

sherryanne 08-24-2009 03:13 AM

I feel the same way!
 
Recruitment for me is this week and I feel the same way because I was released from recruitment last year. My main concern is the conversation because I feel like I'm not making myself "known" (standing out from the crowd)...? Any ideas to keep the conversation interesting/going? I have no problem talking btw.

carnation 08-24-2009 06:28 AM

Use the name of every rusher you talk to at least 2-3 times; people love the sound of their own name. Also, listen intently to your rusher and don't drift off, even if she's boring.

PhoenixAzul 08-24-2009 07:30 AM

Be sure to give each and every house equal attention (I know it is hard, especially towards the end when all you want is a coffee and your bed). While your first day at house XYZ you might be paired with a novice rusher or someone you don't necessarily gel with, it could turn out to be the place you want to be...but that first impression is important and can help you on your way. Don't give them any reason to forget about you. When it comes time for the chapter to make lists, you want your rusher to say "Yes she was very attentive and polite and she asked great questions." You don't want her to say..."hmm...I can't really remember what she said" or "She didn't look at me while I was talking."

There's the chance you might get a rusher (or be double rushed with another PNM) who won't let you get a word in edgewise. In that instance, make sure you make eye contact and nod so that they see that you've not drifted off. Do try to get a word in edgewise...even something as simple as "Oh wow, that sounds really fun, can you tell me a bit more about _________" or inject something like "Yeah I worked with (PHILANTHROPY HERE) last summer as a fundraiser, it is a really great cause. Can you tell me some more about your last philanthropy project?" Open ended questions allow for a little more personality to be shown, which gives the sorority a better idea of who you are, and gives you a better idea of who they are.

Don't think about the cuts, don't think about tiers, don't think about outfits...try to be in the moment as much as you can. You are an honored guest at the house of a new acquaintance. In "normal" life, you'd never go into someones home and trash their choice of decor or the hostesses outfit or ignore the hostess. Remember that these ladies have pledged their life to their organization, and no matter how bad of a fit it would be for you, it is very near and dear to their hearts, and a modicum of respect for that goes a long way. And it may also be a favorite of the other PNMs in your group, so be mindful of how you talk about houses you may not be feeling. There's thousands of rush stories on here where girls listened to the negative tent talk of other PNMs and were swayed from a chapter that could have been brilliant for them. Not saying you have to shoot rainbows, but deflecting the question from a negative to a positive..."What do you think about XYZ?" If you had a horrible time and were just not feeling it..."Their chant was really catchy." or "Their philanthropy project is awesome" or any one of a number of other things. Or you could use the "Bean Dip" excuse...someone asks a horribly uncomfortable question to you at a party that you'd rather not answer, just got "Oh look! Bean dip!" and scurry away.

Or you could just say, "I haven't really formed an opinion yet, and I don't want to influence anyone, but all of the chapters have great members!".

Good luck, smile, be polite, put your best foot forward. This is meant to be FUN. :)

DubaiSis 08-24-2009 08:57 AM

Great Answer!
 
This is a remarkably good response. Now if we could get everyone to follow these ideas in "real life" we'd all be in a much happier world. A little common courtesy goes SOOOO far.

One great thing about sorority recruitment is it's such a great lesson for life. Unfortunately for many it's a lesson learned the hard way. I think when I rushed I was too focused on the process and left most houses not even remembering the name of the girl I JUST talked to for having been so scattered. Needless to say I didn't have as smooth a rush as I could have. Thankfully I ended up in a loving house I'm proud to be a part of, all these years later.

33girl 08-24-2009 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne (Post 1839086)
Recruitment for me is this week and I feel the same way because I was released from recruitment last year. My main concern is the conversation because I feel like I'm not making myself "known" (standing out from the crowd)...? Any ideas to keep the conversation interesting/going? I have no problem talking btw.

I'm honestly not trying to be snarky or mean, but, you are a junior going through rush for the 3rd time (if you count COB rush). That might have something to do with it.

kddani 08-24-2009 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1839155)
I'm honestly not trying to be snarky or mean, but, you are a junior going through rush for the 3rd time (if you count COB rush). That might have something to do with it.

And that probably already makes her "known", so I don't think being "known" and standing out needs to be a worry. They know who you are.

cfrink 08-24-2009 02:55 PM

completely agree
 
I'm in the same boat! I have rush next week and I am completely terrified. I'm a sophomore (transfer) and I have this sinking feeling that I will be cut. I've done everything I can think of to prepare myself, so now it really is just up to chance.

KSUViolet06 08-24-2009 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sherryanne (Post 1839086)
Recruitment for me is this week and I feel the same way because I was released from recruitment last year. My main concern is the conversation because I feel like I'm not making myself "known" (standing out from the crowd)...? Any ideas to keep the conversation interesting/going? I have no problem talking btw.

This is a really good thread about conversation:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=conversation

In general, just be natural. Sometimes girls can try too hard to be "funny" or "known" or "interesting" that they end up just being awkward.

Also, the fact that you are a 2nd timer may work against you as well (depending on your school), so just be prepared for that.

Beryana 08-24-2009 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cfrink (Post 1839199)
I'm in the same boat! I have rush next week and I am completely terrified. I'm a sophomore (transfer) and I have this sinking feeling that I will be cut. I've done everything I can think of to prepare myself, so now it really is just up to chance.

One thing you need to remember is that a LOT of the recruitment stories you are seeing right now are from SEC schools, which is highly competitive for even Freshmen. Madison (from what I am to understand - didn't go there myself), while still competitive, is not as 'hard core'. Madison is not Bama or Ole Miss. Take the advice that was offered in your thread to heart - be yourself, be discrete, be open to ALL houses, and enjoy the experience.

AOEforme 08-24-2009 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beryana (Post 1839271)
One thing you need to remember is that a LOT of the recruitment stories you are seeing right now are from SEC schools, which is highly competitive for even Freshmen. Madison (from what I am to understand - didn't go there myself), while still competitive, is not as 'hard core'. Madison is not Bama or Ole Miss. Take the advice that was offered in your thread to heart - be yourself, be discrete, be open to ALL houses, and enjoy the experience.

100% true. It is MUCH more relaxed here. No one really minds if you are a sophomore, especially if you were involved freshman year. You won't have a pledge class of 105 girls (that is a little smaller than the size of the chapters here). You won't be "competing" against 1400 girls- there are only over 300 rushing.

Also, Madison always has COB opportunities second-semester if you are dropped. (My freshman year there was even a second formal recruitment fall semester with over half the chapters participating). I wouldn't recommend suiciding because you can go find a better house, but I would keep this in mind to calm your nerves.

The PHA president last year mentioned that almost all girls who keep an open mind are placed here. The majority of girls who aren't matched drop because they don't like what is left.

cfrink 08-24-2009 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOEforme (Post 1839277)
100% true. It is MUCH more relaxed here. No one really minds if you are a sophomore, especially if you were involved sophomore year. You won't have a pledge class of 105 girls (that is a little smaller than the size of the chapters here). You won't be "competing" against 1400 girls- there are only over 300 rushing.

Also, Madison always has COB opportunities second-semester if you are dropped. (My freshman year there was even a second formal recruitment fall semester with over half the chapters participating). I wouldn't recommend suiciding because you can go find a better house, but I would keep this in mind to calm your nerves.

The PHA president last year mentioned that almost all girls who keep an open mind are placed here. The majority of girls who aren't matched drop because they don't like what is left.

Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better!

MerryGPhiB 08-24-2009 09:12 PM

A suggestion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cfrink (Post 1839199)
I'm in the same boat! I have rush next week and I am completely terrified. I'm a sophomore (transfer) and I have this sinking feeling that I will be cut. I've done everything I can think of to prepare myself, so now it really is just up to chance.

I'd like to offer a suggestion ( which means you can take it or leave it) if you come from a place of scarcity as in " I won't get a bid or I'm worried I wont' get a bid" it will create a nervous and negative attitude in your mind. Which in turn can change your behavior due to being scared or nervous. Have you ever been in a situation when you had a bright outlook and great attitude and things just happen?

While you can not control what sororities do, you can control yourself. Choose the attitude you'd like to see if you were on the other side. Choose to be positive, choose, without forgetting to be YOU!

Over the years I have seen many women, men and businesses do amazing things because they changed their outlook. Again, this is just a suggestion!

Best wishes to all the collegians-- it's a wonderful time to be a Greek!!:D

wiscogirl 08-25-2009 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MerryGPhiB (Post 1839372)
I'd like to offer a suggestion ( which means you can take it or leave it) if you come from a place of scarcity as in " I won't get a bid or I'm worried I wont' get a bid" it will create a nervous and negative attitude in your mind. Which in turn can change your behavior due to being scared or nervous. Have you ever been in a situation when you had a bright outlook and great attitude and things just happen?

While you can not control what sororities do, you can control yourself. Choose the attitude you'd like to see if you were on the other side. Choose to be positive, choose, without forgetting to be YOU!

Over the years I have seen many women, men and businesses do amazing things because they changed their outlook. Again, this is just a suggestion!

Best wishes to all the collegians-- it's a wonderful time to be a Greek!!:D

so true!

PhiMuForever 09-15-2009 06:20 PM

diet coke,

how did everything end up for you?


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