I think you need to ask yourself "whats the worst that can happen if I get a bid to #2?". You meet new people, get a feel for the sorority and the sorority outside of recruitment (which is usually different when the sparkles and the stress have subsided) and you get acclimated at school? I don't understand how that can necessarily be a bad thing. And while I am not big on people "de-pledging", but if after a few weeks, and gave the group an honest shot and you really truly "hate" it, then make your decision.

It sounds more like you think this group isn't "good" enough for you, not that you don't mesh with anyone. To me, it sounds like you don't want to mesh with anyone. You don't even want to identify with their philanthropy. Like Vandal Squirrel said, EVERY NPC has a worthwhile and noble cause that they spend countless hours supporting. I'm sure the human beings afflicted or affected by these causes would say that their causes are worth supporting! How about looking at things with a better attitude. Or...suicide and take you chances at being unaffiliated for your entire college career.

Ding ding ding ding ding!

List both sororities honey do not "suicide". Give the other house a second chance in case you do not get your first choice. A know several girls that did not list a house on there Pref card and later regretted it. You may be surprised how much you like them after Rush.

Yea, I find myself wondering which philanthropy is so lame that it's not worth her time.... St. Jude Hospital? Child Abuse America? Susan B. Komen Foundation? Ronald McDonald Houses?

I agree. There are plenty of girls that will be proud to wear these letters, and if you will not be, then do not put that house down. Let the girls who truly want to be in that house be there. If you only are willing to be in one sorority, just list that. Just be prepared for the fact that you may end up in no sorority. There is nothing wrong with that, but you need to figure out if you are ok with that.

I don't think I'm too good, I actually am incredibly lucky to have what I do have left. It's not necessarily their philanthropy as much as what they do with it or for it. I did not suicide, I'm just really hoping for my first choice. I really appreciate all the advice.

Good luck! I got my second choice and I can't imagine being anywhere else. Hope for the best, but if you get your second choice, please give it and the girls a chance. And maybe run for philanthropy chair! :)

Good Luck!! Keep us updated!

If you truly cannot see yourself being able to give the other house a chance at the risk of being unaffiliated for the duration of college, the above is solid advice.

That said...

If you were invited to Pref, the house you don't like likes *you* and wants you there. You will be somewhere on their bid list. There must be girls who didn't get invited to Pref by this house and wish they had been.

I completely co-sign on giving the other house a fair chance, but if you decide to go for it, I offer this advice: CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE. If you accept your bid and keep a good attitude, chances are you'll find people you click with (in houses that large, you're bound to find more than a few close friends) and will have a great experience. Your school is a great place to be Greek!

If you go in with a bad attitude, your perception will be clouded, and your negativity may rub off on girls who really do want to be there. That's not fair to them or the house. You owe it to yourself and your sisters to keep a good attitude -- this isn't always easy. You have to choose to be positive.

Good luck deciding what to do. Let us know what happens...and if you accept a bid, you don't have to indicate if it was your first or second choice.

Best of luck on getting Choice #1!!

One more thought to keep in mind: some chapters just don't recruit well. They're nervous, sometimes inexperienced, and maybe don't handle proscribed nights (philanthropy night, skit night, pref night, etc) - but they just may have an awesome sisterhood. Of all the things I could wish for you (and anyone else going through Recruitment) in a sorority home, I would wish you the wonders of a great, sincere sisterhood!

Again, best of luck!

oh and I just want to clarify, I'm not at a Tennessee school, I'm just from Tennessee. :)

In truth, I can kind of understand where you're coming from on the philanthropy. Sadly, some chapters would rather just open their checkbooks than actually give time. But also, there are times where the philanthropy is just not something that the majority of the chapter is passionate about (i.e. something to do with education and the whole chapter is full of business and fashion majors). It happens.

There's a way to change that. If you become a member run for an office and change things. Be a leader! Maybe you are exactly what that Chapter needs.