And here's the rub, why am I branded UNHEALTHY because I am rocking my God/genetic given skin color? I may be potentially healthier in the long run for just embracing how I look as I am. So I am pasty white and don't look my best? This really needs to move to another thread, but all the talk about healthy glow and looking good while not being one's natural authentic self blows my mind. I'm not saying women at my school don't lie outside and tan, but I don't understand why it is suggested to change one's appearance because it looks healthy, or perceived as better. I don't see why skin color is so important to looking good and feeling good at recruitment, especially when it can come with a health risk. I can't imagine anyone telling people to color their hair or get colored contacts, so why is changing the color of the largest organ of one's body acceptable? How are we fostering self esteem and acceptance (since we preach it) if this is something encouraged by chapters. To use the cliche saying it is almost like "you're perfect! now change!"

I'm just trying to point out that it seems to not jive with what we're really about or trying to live, and I never even thought about it until you ladies started sharing that it happens. I hear plenty of people say "I need color" and implying they don't have any since they check the Caucasian box, when in fact we're all varying shades of skin color.

Original Poster: maybe you should forgo the tanning so you stick out and you're more memorable :p Think of all the time and money you'd save ;)

A healthy tan is one thing, but orange is quite another. I am an alumna of another Florida school, and we were also requested to have tans for recruitment. I never got a tan! I am very pale, so pale my dermatologist calls me "her pale person". :eek: I cannot get a tan because of some scares with Melanoma. I just addressed this to my VP of membership and it was never a problem.

As a PNM, I would try to get your skin to look as healthy as possible and be yourself. It is unrealistic to think that every PNM is going to have tanned skin. Everyone's skin tone is different and some people have a naturally pale or darker skin.

Thank you!! I'm naturally very pale - I have light hair, light eyes and freckles, so I have to be super careful in the sun to avoid getting burned. If I go out in the sun with no sunscreen or a low SPF, I don't tan - I get a very painful burn and then a multitude of new freckles :p. And a higher risk of wrinkles and skin cancer down the line. I know some girls who can get a really nice tan just by hanging out in the sun for a day or two, and it looks great on them. I'm just not one of them (though trust me, I tried to be for a few years, with painful results!). Anyway, pale doesn't have to be "pasty", it can be pretty. In a lot of the fashion magazines these days, it's even being encouraged! It's about how you dress and carry yourself. If you're skulking around in bad makeup and strange clothes, you'll look like a vampire. And not the sexy kind.

This goes way beyond a neat, healthy, clean, put-together appearance. This is going way too far.

Being told to change your god-given skin color is absurd and quite frankly offensive. My ethnic background is Irish, Polish and German. I don't tan. I burn and freckle. I don't look right with a tan from a bottle or machine- it's not flattering! There's not a damn thing I can do to help and/or change that.

What's next, are we going to tell our darker skinned members (of various ethnic backgrounds) to apply skin-bleaching cream so that the meet some sort of ridiculous ideal?

For the majority of years in this country, tans were looked down upon and viewed as a sign that you were obviously of peasant stock since you were working outside on a daily basis. It's only since our economy stopped being primarily agrarian and tropical resorts came into fashion that tans have been desirable.

I really wish I could send some of the girls I see doing over the top tanning pictures of some of the women my age (40) who did the same thing, and who now look like leather purses.

There's a woman who took her kids to our community pool every day when I was a child. She would lay out, soaking herself in tanning oil (like SPF 2- really, what is the point?).

Fast forward to about 6 or 7 years years ago. She moved to a new neighborhood. My family knows a few people in that community. When they found out that we knew her, we were asked if she had been in a fire or some sort of accident. Everyone in the new neighborhood assumed she was a burn victim.

The thing that gets me is that it is being suggested and/or requested for members, and as it is a health issue (skin cancer) and we have a huge focus on risk management, it is contradictory. If it wasn't coming from sorority leadership I wouldn't take such an issue with it. Skin cancer is a huge issue, not just for the people without "a healthy glow" but for everyone regardless of the melanin expression and I don't think we should be promoting it without making the dangers clear. How many women are unaware of the issue, and then the VP Recruitment says "we want you to look healthy" and indirectly we're not giving women all the information they need to make an educated decision (we give information on alcohol, which some of us even have a third party vendor serve) yet are encouraging a potentially dangerous behavior. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE a risk management program on skin care and the dangers of tanning so women can make educated decisions, just like we do for food, dating, smoking, alcohol, and other issues that affect us, and other women.

How hard is it to get a dermatologist and someone who has been affected by melanoma to come in for a presentation? I could throw that together in my small rural town with two phone calls.

I totally agree! However, I should have used the word suggested. I never saw anyone get in trouble for not having a tan, but was just a few comments about the fact that we live in Florida and to look healthy with a nice tan. Of course I do understand that healthy is having no tan at all.

Back on topic here -

UF15, it is too difficult for anyone to tell you what your chances are for this recruitment and for receiving a invitation to an organization of your preference. You will face a tough recruitment based on your class standing alone. There will be many factors that go into membership selection from those you worked hard for like your grades and activities to other factors that I don't want to bring up at this time. (I am not going to open up a wild discussion that will not get you any closer to receiving a bid at UF - that is pointless) Do your very best to prepare for this recruitment and I hope that you are successful. I know what you are facing at UF and I understand somewhat of how you may be feeling right now.

Best of Luck to you!

There is nothing attractive about boobs popping out of your bra either (at any time not just during recruitment). Please make sure yours fit properly underneath your clothing.

I did that before my wedding. I went a week before to see how it would turn out and if I would like it, and then went a second time the day before. It made my skin look so natural and glowing! I have recommended it to several friends before weddings and other events and all of them cant say enough good things about it.

To the OP:
Baci is right on, you will face a difficult recruitment because of your class standing but if you go into it with an open heart and a willingness to accept the variety of sisterhoods UF sororities offer, you will find a home. Listen to sound advice from sorority women and prepare physically and mentally for recruitment. It's not an easy week but it is most certainly worth it.
Best of luck!

Thank-you for saying this!

I'm over fifty and my skin is completely smooth and in great shape (no surgery as yet, though I'm not opposed to it.) I regularly get carded when I go out, in an area of the country that doesn't card everyone.

I use sunscreen every day of my life (in a range of SPF 8-40+, though 15-30 is my norm.) I often wear a hat, but never lie out in the sun. I'm active in sports, but I just slosh the sunscreen on and try not to be out at the height of midday. I use bronzers, etc. to add a little extra glow. This time of year I'm usually sporting a very, very light tan from my sporting activities, but my skin is pale in the winter months.

I've seen girls in their mid-to-late twenties with wrinkles (they are usually from sunny locales such as California or Florida.)

I don't think that sororities should be in the business of encouraging tanning, but that's me.

To the OP -- give it another shot, stay open, be prepared to take a few lumps...and good luck!

There's nothing wrong with trying, but her chances are definitely not on par with freshmen or even sophomore PNMs.

There's a good chance that she'll end up without a bid.

It's tough, but true.

Best of luck to her.