The etymology of "alcatraz" is related to birds, pelicans which roosted on the island of Alcatraz hence the name. So she was right about birds, just not the largest birds in the world (thank you fourth grade California history module, and third grade San Francisco history module). Maybe she meant albatross, but are we talking largest flying or flightless bird? Those are quite different.

Here's something I can't believe I heard:

Oral sex is completely safe from catching STDs (college junior, male, fraternity member).

girl: starts story about one of her daughters
guy: which daughter?
girl: I said MY! MY is singular for one!!!

I had to wait a second to see if she was serious before I corrected her. Said girl/woman was in her mid 20s with a degree in general studies.

Yes, she meant "albatross."

Somebody once told me (in college) that they didn't use condoms because she knew which guys weren't "man enough" to be able to get her pregnant. :confused: She's probably a mother right now.

Mom: Josh is NOT coming up here
Daughter's friend: But I need my retainers. They're very important to me. I'm gona get a gap

a lot funnier to be there

This reminds me of something my biology teacher in HS said:

"What do you call people who use the rhythm method of birth control?"

"Parents"

Awesome! Maybe infected would work too?

Years ago in a Blockbuster video store my sister and I are browsing the new releases. We're standing in the 'H' section near two "dudes."

Dude #1 picks up http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...e87/henryV.jpg and says, "Dude, Henry Five. Wonder what that's about."

My sister and I try desperately not to burst into laughter right there in their faces. Nonetheless, sister says under her breath, "Henry Five! - Henry takes Manhattan!"

Teacher: I know the weather is nice outside and this is mundane, but we just need to get through it.

Studen (senior in high school, in Nat. Honor Society): But today isn't mundane, it's Wednesday!

Guy:(talking about a girl he hooked up with coming out of the closet) And I said, "So you mean to say that I'm the last guy on Earth to fully satisfy you as a woman? Allll right!"

Someone needs to watch "He's Just Not That Into You."

See if you can follow this connection-My best friend's daughter's half sister's mother told her (the half sister) she can't go to college for a year after she graduates high school because she needs to spend a year taking care of her horses. We both were like, what?? :confused:

LOVE IT ;)

In my inbox:

College junior: ...yep those were the days, indefinitely!

I believe she meant definitely.

so apparently are most of the households in america.

isn't that like the mean or median household income in this country?

"can i get pregnant if a guys came on my stomach?"