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-   -   Do Sororities Really Want You To Try Again? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=103098)

summer_gphib 05-21-2009 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by michelle81188 (Post 1779086)
I really couldn't began to guess what went wrong. Honestly recruitment was fun I always came home smiling. My school is competitive and huge so they clearly can't take everyone. I have a 3.1 GPA which is above the recruitment for every sorority except one at my school. I'm also president of the school's retailing club. To my best knowledge I have never hooked up with anyones boyfriend or done anything offensive for that matter.

Really I don't think I have anything to lose at this point, I'll do it again. Thanks for all of your advice it was helpful!

I'm not trying to be rude at all... BUT although a 3.1 is a good GPA, for a competitive school it may not be enough. Yes it's above almost all of the the sorority guidelines, but that's not to say that a chapter may or may not have expectations that are higher than that. Especially if it's a really competitive school. I went to a school that was not super competitive-- and a 3.1 would have been ok, but not put you in a stellar postion. Just a thought! Work on your GPA to get it higher-- and even if you don't get into a house you'll be better off! :D

cbm 05-21-2009 04:08 PM

You'll also want to take a look at yourself and ask what do you have this year that makes you more desirable as a PNM as the last time you went through rush. If you did not have enough whatever-grades, activities, social skills, personal appearance- to get invites and bids last time, will you have it this time?

To answer the other question...I know that members remember some rushees from year to year, and I was at a big competitive school. Some of them do end up getting bids at top houses, some don't; so I don't necessarily think that rushing a second time hurts your chances (at least at my school).

Tippiechick 05-21-2009 10:04 PM

Original poster --

The honest answer is NO. If they cut you once, they will probably cut you again. You can try. But, you already were extended a bid to a house. You WILL (I REPEAT, YOU WILL) look desperate if you keep rushing. You have already sent the message that you don't want the sisterhood you were matched with. You only want the sisterhood if it suits you. You had a chance to take them off your bid list but did not, obviously.

So what if you didn't feel comfortable there? You spent MAYBE a total of 2-3 hours there, if that? Is such a short amount of time being exposed to a small amount of sisters enough to make a decision to reject their bid?

In your case, you made the decision that you would rather NOT be greek as opposed to giving the girls a chance.

Let's not mince words here. Your own FRIEND tried to tell you to back off. (She told you girls who re-rush look desperate...) Take a hint.

You had a shot at a sisterhood, but rejected it for WHATEVER reason. (I don't really care why.) Perhaps your shot at being in a sorority has passed.

Zillini 05-22-2009 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainypuddles (Post 1811031)
This is a little bit offtopic, but do the active sisters doing the rushing (rushers?) actually remember the girls they cut? I know at my school they see anywhere from 15-25 groups of girls (around 30 per group) on the first day. They talk to each girl for about 5 minutes. If they cut them the first day, the girl rushing probably didn't make that deep of an impression. I do wonder if school keep records of each time a person registers to go through rush?

It never ceases to amaze me how many actives remember previous PNMs and exactly why they were released. Then again, it's probably like anything else in life. Certain people will stick out in your memory either because you thought they were amazing or you didn't get along at all.

jennyj87 05-22-2009 08:55 AM

My personal suggestion is that you do rush again. The hardest part about the way sororites recruit is taht you only meet certain people sometimes. I know its the whole "trust your sisters" an all that jazz, but you just never know.
We had 2 girls come in to our chapter this year that had rushed before. I knew both of them, one I wrote a rec for. The girl I wrote a rec for can be very shy at times but I knew her so I brought the rec to the chapter, and I cannot tell you how happy I was when she attacked me at bid day! She even ended up being my twin!
The other girl that rushed again had recieved a bid from another sorority, but dropped before initiation. She's doing fabulous in ours now :)

Try again. You never know. :)

Tippiechick 05-22-2009 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennyj87 (Post 1811323)
My personal suggestion is that you do rush again. The hardest part about the way sororites recruit is taht you only meet certain people sometimes. I know its the whole "trust your sisters" an all that jazz, but you just never know.
We had 2 girls come in to our chapter this year that had rushed before. I knew both of them, one I wrote a rec for. The girl I wrote a rec for can be very shy at times but I knew her so I brought the rec to the chapter, and I cannot tell you how happy I was when she attacked me at bid day! She even ended up being my twin!
The other girl that rushed again had recieved a bid from another sorority, but dropped before initiation. She's doing fabulous in ours now :)

Try again. You never know. :)

Gotta love those girls who would cheer you on as you follow their advice and smack yourself into a brick wall.

KSUViolet06 05-22-2009 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tippiechick (Post 1811492)
Gotta love those girls who would cheer you on as you follow their advice and smack yourself into a brick wall.

I tell the girls who re-rush that if they feel like they JUST HAVE to do it just so they don't wonder "What if" to try again by all means, but just don't be surprised if you don't get a bid because for the most part, re-rushing doesn't make your chances better the second time.

jennyj87 05-22-2009 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tippiechick (Post 1811492)
Gotta love those girls who would cheer you on as you follow their advice and smack yourself into a brick wall.


Ouch that burned.
Sorry, I don't go to a school where recruitment is as competitive as others...?

KSUViolet06 05-22-2009 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennyj87 (Post 1811496)
Ouch that burned.
Sorry, I don't go to a school where recruitment is as competitive as others...?

You most likely don't.

To be honest, at a lot of schools, your chances do not get better if you rush a second time. So if you don't get a bid the first time, you likely will not get a bid the second time around either.

UGAalum94 05-22-2009 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1811497)
You most likely don't.

To be honest, at a lot of schools, your chances do not get better if you rush a second time. So if you don't get a bid the first time, you likely will not get a bid the second time around either.

Yeah, but the OP got a bid, just not one she wanted at the time.

I agree that it's pretty rare in a competitive recruitment that a PNM's chances go up with a re-rush, but sometimes the PNM, because she's more realistic about her likely outcome, can still salvage a bid she wants. Sometimes they even reconsider the groups they weren't interested in the 1st time.

And as far as the spring rush, if we're talking two person new member classes, it's possible that she was on some of the groups' lists in a spot other than top two. Personally, I don't equate not ending up with a bid on the final day with being cut. The group may have wanted you, just not quite enough.

I agree with the earlier advice that if you can handle not matching, there's no problem with going through again. What do you have to lose really? But after that, if it doesn't work out, you need to stop.

Tippiechick 05-23-2009 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UGAalum94 (Post 1811501)
Yeah, but the OP got a bid, just not one she wanted at the time.

I agree that it's pretty rare in a competitive recruitment that a PNM's chances go up with a re-rush, but sometimes the PNM, because she's more realistic about her likely outcome, can still salvage a bid she wants. Sometimes they even reconsider the groups they weren't interested in the 1st time.

And as far as the spring rush, if we're talking two person new member classes, it's possible that she was on some of the groups' lists in a spot other than top two. Personally, I don't equate not ending up with a bid on the final day with being cut. The group may have wanted you, just not quite enough.

I agree with the earlier advice that if you can handle not matching, there's no problem with going through again. What do you have to lose really? But after that, if it doesn't work out, you need to stop.

That's the whole point -- she got a bid already. She just wasn't happy with it. Her friend (An officer in another group on campus) has told her girls who re-rush look desperate...) Advice from her FRIEND seems to be to leave it alone.

But, if she can handle possibly not getting a bid at all this time, even from the one she's already been offered? By all means, consider it.

I don't want this girl thinking her chances aren't are higher than they probably are. I went to both Ole Miss (super competitive) and MTSU (not super competitive) and have seen it from both sides. Neither campus looked well upon those offered and rejecting bids only to re-rush. Add to this the fact this child is an upperclassman, and we should temper our advice to the likely reality.

Then, if the girl gets cut, at least someone has told her the worst-case scenario... And, if she gets a bid, she feels all the more GRATEFUL for being even offered a bid.


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