I'm sorry if it seems like I was judging you harshly or something. I actually agree with your basic take. If you want to pledge at a traditional, strong southern fraternity chapter, it's going to help you to know people in advance.

I'm not saying no one gets a bid who doesn't already have connections, but if a pledge class for a chapter primarily comes from summer rush and you don't even know about, it makes it hard. As long as you can conduct your research and make your connections without seeming desperate (and I do think that's possible) it's hard to see how it could hurt to do stuff in preparation for rush.

But there are good chapters who provide a worthwhile experience at SEC campuses who do actually pledge guys they meet in formal, so it's not like all is lost if you don't get in to the most exclusive chapter.

Guys are fortunate that you can receive multiple bids and decide and you can get bids even before formal is over. I'm not sure that keeping an open mind about the whole process is quiet as important.

Thanks for the info.

Is there any specific type of way that you would recommend for me to get or find any potential connections? Any advice like that would be really appreciated since I don't want to be assumed as desperate by doing something a little off or something.

Hopefully (as I brought up before) my roommate will get me introduced to some of the guys since from what I've heard (on here and through others) that nothing really can substitute or add up like a good reputation and relationship with actives.
...
I look at the situation like this: Academics, Extra-Curricula, Volunteering and Recs only get you to be in the mix, but it comes really comes down to separating yourself when meeting actives during rush events (obviously whether it's spring, summer or fall). Not being proactive about meeting brothers or showing no sense of care would be my guess for what will get you cut.

..and let's be frankly honest here. I'm out-of-state, don't know very much people, and I simply don't have much connection with most of the fraternities. It's pretty safe to say that getting cut from multiple fraternities that I'll be looking at is highly expected. Even for the guys coming in with more relations and connections, they'll most likely be cut from many of the houses also.
I'm not really making that a big deal since it happens to everyone.

Another question though..
How exactly does rush work for fraternities? Does it go by each day having a different event similar to sororities? How do you find out about cuts? Are you part of a group like sororities?

I've heard about the sorority rush and how it's really organized, but I don't know if it's the same with the fraternities. Just a brief summary with what you do and stuff would be really nice.

Thanks again.

yea I understand your predicament. I'm a out of stater going to LSU. I'm from there, but don't know anyone. I get the feeling that most SEC schools have enough fraternities and there will be one for me, especially at LSU. LSU is different than most southern schools though.

It depends where you go. I've heard of some campus IFCs having a structured recruitment with "rounds" like with Panhellenic sorority recruitment, but they are in the minority.

The majority of schools will let each chapter set their own schedule of parties and you are free to come and go as you please to the open house parties. Brothers will contact you to invite you to invite only parties.

If you don't hear anything for a few days after open house parties/you don't get contacted to be invited to an invite only party, consider yourself cut. A chapter won't necessarily call you to say you were cut. I'd imagine most don't. Also, I've heard of brothers literally showing the door to some PNMs they don't like, but I think you'd have to be pretty socially retarded or obnoxious to have that happen.

Brothers can walk out the weirdos whenever they want, but towards the middle of rush week we'll start walking out guys that are coming to every event but aren't faring real well at bid rounds, give them a chance to go somewhere else since my house isn't giving them a bid.

It seems like doing some relatively impersonal lists or invites would be so much easier. I'm not really advocating for a change, but invites that the guys actually had to pick up some place would allow them to save face and spare the brothers the awkwardness of rejecting a guy to his face.

Another big hint with guy's rush is that you all can actually give bids to guys you want early in the process. If a guy was hearing from other guys doing rush that they had gotten bids, that might help him clue in that he wasn't a chapters first choice. Do chapters have a point at which they put the word out that they are done extending bids?

How could a guy keep himself from getting walked out?

Also, what would you recommend for an out of state guy in terms of how to get invited to summer events? Is a good recommendation from an alumnus who knows him going to be enough? Could the alum who was willing to recommend him ask on his behalf for the guy to be invited or will that come off wrong and actually work against him?

My impression is that some chapters kind of pride themselves on only taking guys they know or who they know of from certain schools and hometown events, but I don't know how many chapters really want to turn down a good guy from out of state, assuming they could get to know him. What could he do to make it happen?

I realize I'm basically repeating what the OP asked a couple of posts ago, but I don't know the answer, and my instinctive answer is really based on sororities, so I don't have any idea it's close to accurate.

It's pretty clear that for me (along with fellow out-of-staters in the same situation) this is the majority of the battle/problem. I'm pretty sure that it'll come down how much someone (in my situation) really wants to be a part of it. If your that serious and confident then I think you'll show care for getting to know the guys and I eventually think that'll make an impression on the actives.

I'd love to hear some specific suggestions, too!

I don't know how to get invited to summer events for us. Ours are not that important but I would bet that 60-75% of our pledges come to one of our three rush events in either Dallas, Little Rock or Memphis. But they all come through high school friends who hear of it/we invite.

Depending on who the alum is, he could certainly ask on behalf of the rushee if the rushee could be invited or so on.

You say "the campus," and that you already have a room mate. Do you know for sure which school you are going to? Because that would help people to give you more specific advice. But in other posts it sounds like you haven't settled on a school yet...

:confused:

I'm a little confused... do you already know which school you are going to? You already have a "room mate," but you are talking about various SEC schools as if you have not decided yet, so I'm just wondering.


Also, perhaps your future room mate will be invited to summer events. Fraternity members may want to chime in on this, but maybe he could mention your name/give your contact info if he is invited (unless that's tacky)? I'm not sure how tagging along would look necessarily (clearly, I'm not in a fraternity doing summer rush). I'm guessing that there are probably some invite-only events, but maybe there are some events that say bring other guys with you, i.e., if your room mate gets invited and is encouraged to bring out a few guys, you should make the trip!

PGroove, I might be able to add a bit to help you out.

My son had a roommate freshman year from out of state. He didn't know a soul at UT except for my son through phone conversations and emailing. My son thought he was a great guy, so he helped him out by introducing him to the guys who were rushing him, and let him know when things were going on in the summer. The guy ended up being able to come down for a week, so was able to attend some events. They both ended up pledging the same fraternity, and it is one of the top house that normally pledges guys from Texas hometowns and feeder schools.

So, if your roommate to be and you get along really well, he will help you out. Let him know that you would like to come down for some of the summer stuff, and to let keep you in the loop.

If you are a cool guy, you'll get a bid. I think in my son's pledge class they had a guy from Illinois, a guy from Indiana, and a guy from England - they fit in really well with the 40 something other guys from Texas hometowns and feeder schools.

You'll be fine. Just don't act desperate!!

Thanks for the advice. I feel like the that is pretty much the same situation for me so it's nice to hear that it worked out well.
My roommate and I have gotten along so far and he's actually already helped me out with getting on a few rush lists too already and we're planning on attending a few events in the next couple months or so.

I also have a new question:

If I have received an invite through the mail for a rush event but don't know the rush chair or other members of the fraternity so much, should I first call someone at the house to tell them I'll be attending or should I just show up and introduce myself there?

If there isn't any specific RSVP info listed, reply via U.S. mail to the rush chair. Especially since this is for a chapter at an SEC school and that is how they communicated with you. You may follow up with a short phone call.

Northerner Comes South
 

I would not worry about the acceptance thing. There are lots of great opportunities with some of the smaller fraternities at all schools. What you need to do is find a group of men you are comfortable with and that you would want as your "brothers". This is for life and if you take it as such you will be glad of your decision the rest of your life. Kappa Sig at LSU routinely pledges 50+ every fall. There is room for all good men if it is the right fit.