I'd like to reinforce what Senusret I said. I was cringing all over your typing. Very few people do that kind of typing in college in general. Also on that note, please do not call us "frats." As it was put to me by one of my brothers from another chapter "You wouldn't call your country a cunt would you?" This may not be as big other places, but its fairly important to my brothers and the other greeks on my campus (which represent 1/3 of the student body.)

Anyway. My advice is this. Do not either decide to become or not to become legacy until you get to know the undergraduate men in the house. Yes there is the larger fraternity which includes the other chapters and alumni, but while you're in school, if you join that house, you have to deal with them every day. Incase you are not aware, it takes a lot of work to keep a fraternity running. It isn't all fun and parties. If you can't get along with the undergrads, the current house, no matter how much of a legacy you are, is absolutely not for you. This applies to any house of course. Think for yourself, don't close any doors, and don't let your face determine who you are on the inside. I am a female fraternity brother, all stereotypes are dead. There is nothing in your way to being whomever you want to be, greek or otherwise. Don't set your sights until you know its the right choice for you. Trying to join a house you don't fit into can be disastrous. You may not get a bid, or you might end up depledgeing or going inactive, and no one wants that. If you really want to be Que and they don't want you then its a bad match on both ends. Seriously, this is your life and if they don't want you, you don't need them. Also, ignore the sorority women (and anyone else) you know if they're telling you you "look" like a whatever. You are not your face, you are your heart and soul.

Have fun, be smart and think for yourself. Brotherhood is forever.

Arrrrgh, when will people stop using this stupid, stupid analogy? Just make it go away!! The reason you wouldn't call your country a c&*t has nothing to do with the reason some people don't like the word frat.

And speaking of it only being some who don't like "frat" (because of the "Animal House" connotation, not because "frat" is obscene), if you'll notice, the OP was clearly speaking in an NPHC (Divine 9) context; the word "frat" is used quite often and is not considered offensive in the least in NPHC fraternities.

For that matter, much of your advice doesn't really fit an NPHC context.

If that is so, I stand corrected and I am sorry if my advice, which is from my own experience which is all anyone can ever expect me to speak from, does not apply then by all means ignore it. Advice is only advice, nothing more. I have never heard of NPHC until now so please excuse my ignorance.

I thought that using the word "frat" as a synonym for "brother" was OK, not necessarily calling the fraternity that.

We don't generally find calling our organizations "frats" disrespectful. Informal, yes, but not usually rude.

My 4 year old says "mines". Drives me crazy.;)

I cringed reading that entire thing.

Clearly, since he was referring to Que and Kappa he's talking about BGLO where the use of Frat is okay. I personally hate it, but it fits within the BGLO lexicon.

And a bunch of other people covered what I said already.

In defense of my brother, she is from a school that does not even have any NPHC orgs, so she is unfamiliar with the culture. I have noticed myself that referring to your orginzation or brother as "frat " is almost a mark of respect in NPHC, though I don't understand why. though to be honest, most of her advise would be good regardless of the type of fraternity you are looking at. Perhaps you can explain why some of it wouldn't apply to an NPHC orginzation?

NPHC (and NALFO/MGC, for that matter) Greeks tend to think more of the national organization than our IFC counterparts do. A lot of her advice focused on the undergraduates/chapter.

That, and the whole "frat/fraternity" thing.

Thank you. That point never occurred to me, mostly because my chapter also emphasizes the national organization. But to be honest, the chapter is important as well in my opinion at least. No matter how much you love what the organization stands for at the national level, wouldn't the chapter still matter? I mean if you don't like the brothers that you meet in your chapter why would you want to pledge yourself to them. I love being part of a national organization so much, but each chapter is different. I have some chapters I can't stand because of the type of people they are. Granted you can have teh same problem on the chapter level, but it's a lot less likely to be a serious issue I would think.

The chapter is important, but it's second to the national organization. Programs and philanthropic events (and sometimes social ones) involve surrounding chapters and alumni. From what I've seen (online and offline), most IFC events are hosted by and for the chapter. If alumni attend, it's only the chapter alums.

Sure, you (general you) may be different from some of the people at other chapters, but that really doesn't matter -- you just take care of your business for the national organization.