When I was in the 2nd grade, it was halloween and my dad was teasing me about my costume (I was a dice and it was amazing). He was wearing a windbreaker jogging suit, and I said, "Oh yeah? What are you dressed up as? Someone in shape?!"

I always have and always will be a smart ass :)

When I was around 4 or 5, I was figuring out what money was and I couldn't understand why it was important to adults! When I asked my dad why he left for work each day and didn't stay home with me, he told me he would go to make the money....apparently I literally thought my dad was printing money.....:eek:

So my mom and I were driving one day---i was around 3 at the time---and some guy cut her off. My mom, remembering i'm in the car, just honked at the guy. Then from the backseat I tell her, "Mom, if that guy does that again just say MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, ASSHOLE!!"


Another time, when I was around 5 (my mom & step-dad had just gotten married) I went with my step-dad to return movies. When my dad hands the VHS tapes to the lady I promptly tell her, "sorry their late, but my mom was recording them." My dad said he almost shit a brick! lol.

My 3 yr old loves books, and his current favorite story is "Jack in the Beanstalk" only since his name is Jack he calls it "Me and the Beanstalk".

He also calls Princess Fiona in Shrek, Princess "Pea-ona".

While in an elevator with a dark haired older woman (we are all blondes) my adorable small son blurts out "look Mommy, that lady has a mustache!". I immediately clamped my hand over his mouth so no additional comments could come out and stared straight ahead but was mortified the entire elevator ride.

When my nieces were younger (about 7 and 3 1/2), I was taking them somewhere with me in the car. The older one was in the front seat and asked the proverbial, "Kiki, when you get married, are you going to have children"?
Me: "Well, Leeann. I really don't know".

A couple of minutes passed, and all of a sudden this little voice comes from the back seat. "Kiki, when you get married, are you going to have puppies"?
Me: "Well Sarah, there is a better chance of that happening that my having children".

Sarah is now a Junior in high school and plans to become a veternarian.

I had my older niece convinced that there was a "flower" (weed) called Queen Leeann's Lace, named after her.

I had my nieces believing of a lot of things, like the tree in the back yard was a Bubblegum Tree. Every spring, just about the time that they would come to my house, the tree would be in bloom, with pieces of Bazooka on every branch.

LOL this reminds me of a commercial that used to be on ALL the time when I was younger. It was for a law firm and the slogan was "if you have a phone, you have a lawyer." I reasoned that we had 5 phones in my house, therefore we had 5 lawyers.

Haha, this reminds me of the "Four Stomachs Theory" I formulated back when I was three or four years old.

My parents had quite the struggle getting me to eat my veggies. I would say that I was "too full" to eat any more veggies. They would then deny me dessert, on the grounds that if I was too full for veggies, I was too full for ice cream. (Did I mention my parents are sadists?)

Well, I read somewhere that cows have four stomachs. So I reasoned that if cows have four stomachs, why not humans? I tried to convince my parents that I had four stomachs: one for meat, one for potatoes and rice, a really tiny one for veggies, and a huge one for dessert. So I could legitimately be too full for veggies and yet have room for dessert!

Unfortunately, my parents, being doctors, didn't buy it for a second. :(