Every campus IS different, and mine is not competitive, but I do know two guys who came in my same year that dropped one fraternity and pledged another a year later (fall rush). It's a small campus, so everyone knew that's what they did, but their fraternity still wanted them. (And it's one of the two "top" on campus that has no trouble getting their numbers every year). I guess it depends on who you know and how you click.

He said

Have you bonded with members outside of your pledge class? In my opinion, pledge class bonding is less important following initiation since you are now a "member" and part of the entire chapter. The decision is up to you but you should consider the chances of you receiving a bid elsewhere if you decide to rush again next year (nearly impossible at some schools).

i asked if he thought it was impossible because i would be a sophomore next year.

Well to clarify, we had guys that did that too. But their dropping the 1st group was usually for a reason other than "I didn't bond."

Originally you said that you don't feel a connection with your pledge class. The reason you gave was because you live far from campus, and you don't associate with them outside of fraternity events...

Later, when asked for more clarification, you said that you have a lot of schoolwork, you need to take care of things at home for your parents and you don't think you have time to make a commitment to the fraternity.

What's the real issue here? I understand these things kind of go hand in hand, which makes me think that you might not have time for the fraternity. If that's the case, I would suggest you talk to a brother and ask him what the real time commitment is after initiation.

But... you also say that you like fraternities and like the idea of them now. On the other hand, you said that it felt as if you were given a bid simply because the fraternity is small and they needed more members. On the other hand, you say you like the brothers and your pledge class. On the other hand, you say the chapter is too small. (ahh! I have too many hands!)

You don't like the fact that the fraternity is small. Is that because you don't want to have to help a chapter build? Because you don't want the added responsibility because of your already hectic schedule? Or because you simply like being one among many?

The main problem I see is the fact that you didn't know much about fraternities, you shrugged your shoulders and thought, "I'll pledge and figure it out," and now you're in too deep and don't know what to do.

I'm just confused as to why you'd want to leave your chapter and pledge another one if you already have numerous time constraints.

because ill be taking 13 credits next semester and possibly living closer to campus.

So.. what's your concern? That you don't get along with your pledge brothers? Or that you don't get to spend time enough with them?

Or something else altogether?

These two just said they made a mistake...even worse. But then like I said, we aren't very competitive here...

That it is too small. Now that he has opened his eyes to fraternities he sees the difference in size and popularity. :D Oh and he already has is eye on what he doess want to pledge.

From what I've read it sounds like your brothers have been nothing but nice to you. Now you want to drop and attempt to pledge a different fraternity just because of the size? Very shady.

If I was one of your brothers and this was your excuse I'd be the first one to tell my friends in other fraternities to stay away from you. Dropping them shows that you have little loyalty and other chapters on campus (especially the larger ones) won't want to have a disloyal person in their ranks.

So your only two reasons are a lack of bonding (which doesn't seem like a good reason in your case since it seems like you aren't even trying to bond with them) and a lack of time (which you said yourself won't be a problem next semester). Not a good reason for dropping. My advice is to stay and make a better attempt at bonding, but if you aren't going to sincerely try, save your brothers the hassle and just drop so you don't turn into that member who never shows up to events and only goes to chapter.

Don't sweat about bonding with your class. There's 30 girls in my class, so getting close to all of them is nearly impossible. You'll get there! Pledging is tough, but as my big says, it's meant to be. You can make it. I promise.

Seems like you made the wrong decision.

Well... I know this. I just like trapping people by asking questions :p

IMHO, I think he covered up the fact that he simply wants to pledge a "better" fraternity with the fact that he's too busy to bond. But that reason pretty much went out the window when all he said to my extremely long post was that he won't have a lot to do next semester.

But please, kyang08, if there's something else, please enlighten us.

I'd stick with it bro.