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It is a little sad but we have to focus on the girls who wanted us so it is her lost and we wish her the best. Whats worst is when on pref night a girl tells us that she really likes our chapter and she felt that she could really fit in with us, then on Bid Day she gets a bid but doesnt accept it. That really sucks.
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As most have said, we usually get over any disappointment pretty quickly. Once in a while some girls can get really bent outta shape though.
On my bid day, the girl who took me through pref at the house I didn't choose came to my dorm room to ask what happened. It was very uncomfortable. One of my friends got dirty looks for weeks from a few girls whose house she didn't choose. (which only convinced her she made the right decision) I think these are pretty rare cases though. It's usually all good. |
Maybe this is a function of deferred recruitment, but I feel like sometimes for me in college the hurt lasted a few weeks after recruitment. Because I felt like I really, really knew these girls because I'd been hanging out with them for an entire semester and then you pref them and then it's like... they reject you. And a lot of times at my school when a rush crush pledged another group, it really was the end of the friendship, or at least the friendship changed. Yeah, yeah, you can be friends with anyone in any sorority, blah, blah, blah, but it's just never the same again.
I was lucky that my number one rush crush of all time (who was also a legacy) didn't go to my house on pref night so I was spared the agony of seeing her come to pref night and then not pledge Pi Phi. |
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I agree that I think this a deferred recruitment thing. At my school, we have recruitment in September, so really you've only known these girls for like 3 weeks maybe, and we know that a PNM who says she "could really see herself here" really hasn't been in school that long, doesn't know us THAT well, and is probably going to change her mind at some point during recruitment. So it's not totally crushing when a PNM either drops us or prefs us ends up elsewhere. The rejection stings more when you feel like you've gotten to know a PNM all semester, she's your friend, and she seems interested. Also, with my school, the culture is such that girls have good friends who pledged different sororities. Not every school is like that, and essentially once a PNM pledges another chapter, you really aren't going to be friends like you were before recruitment. |
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