Ok, now it's true, the majority of students today are so cravenly PC, they wouldn't know a good time if it was sitting on their face, but there's one thing that will always unite us and them. They're young. They may not realize it yet. They've got the same raging hormones, the same self-destructive desire to get boldly trashed and wildly out of control. Look out that window! That's not a protest! That is cry for help! They're begging us... Please have a party! Feed us drinks! Get us laid! Aahhhhhh!

Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like those, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Stupid is as stupid does, ma'am....

"know what makes me feel better when i'm feeling shitty? rolled up aces full of kings. check-raising stupid tourists. piles and piles of chips and checks, so high i can't see over them."

"Let's go. we can be at the taj in an hour. let's go."

"You had better not be shitting me, mike. You serious?"

"Dead serious. let's go."

I always tell the girls never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously then you never get hurt. If you never get hurt then you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely you can just go to the record store and visit your friends.
________
Glass pipe

OK kids, I have a hangover..does anyone know what that means?

-That you're drunk?

No, it means that I was drunk yesterday

I like your costume too, only when I dress as a fridged bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

But you know what I've learned in my seven years here at Coolidge... Timmy? I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you'll die a lot of times. Write that down.

But you're so old!

I can tell you the license numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you the waitress is left-handed. I can tell you the guy sitting at the bar weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself, I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and I know that at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half a mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?

I feel just like Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman"....except for the whole hooker thing.

Close your eyes and tap your heels together 3 times.

Are you crying? There's no crying in baseball!

"First rule of Fight Club, you do not talk about Fight Club. Second rule of Fight Club, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club. Third rule of Fight Club, when someone say "stop" or goes limp, the fight is over. Fourth rule of Fight Club, only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule of Fight Club, one fight at a time. Sixth rule of Fight Club, no shirt, no shoes. Seventh rule of Fight Club, fights go on as long as they have to. Eighth and final rule of Fight Club, if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight."

Are we having fun yet?