I totally agree with you on your advice. We are always looking at social media and reputations trying to avoid women we think might be risk management issues. I think some schools deal with this a lot more then other schools.

I bumped the MollyUF thread as a cautionary tale to PNMs. If you remember what happened to Molly, you know that it takes very little to get cut because of a misperception.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...25#post2225325

Key part of that thread that Carnation posted from the University of Florida:

Finding a balance - social, but not overboard
 

I think this is a case where what we want to say as alumnae, versus what some of us would have said as collegians, will differ significantly. I wish PNMs could totally avoid alcohol and frat parties until they were of age. But unfortunately the way Ole Miss's social structure is set up, the PNM who stays away completely will be locked out of many chances to meet sorority women.

Underage drinking is illegal, and I won't condone it. I didn't drink until I was 21, and I survived. Some PNMs will choose to drink. It may hurt their "reputation," or may not. I would advise any PNMs to be social, but avoid drinking. That means attending some parties, but refraining from the alcohol. The frat party/bar scene is such a big part of the pre-recruitment circuit that if you're not out sometimes, then you're missing chances to meet sorority women. Avoid weeknights (gotta keep those grades up), and study hard so your grades don't suffer during recruitment. Make sure to go out to at least one party on Friday and Saturday, even if you don't stick around long. See and be seen--no need to drink. Focus on the other girls there, not guys :). Avoid drinking because (1) it's illegal and (2) no one likes a sloppy PNM.

Better places to meet sorority women include the Honors College (if you're a part of it, look for 200-level classes that have some sophomores!), Associate Student Body (Ole Miss's student gov't.), and the clubs that recruit in the fall. As a bonus, being involved in these activities will look good come recruitment time!

Unfortunately the daughter's experience is not unusual. I also started being rushed as a high school senior and went to some of the Spring events like Derby Days--I assume these are some of the parties her daughter attended. They're a big part of the pre-recruitment meet-and-greet for sorority women if you are invited. I don't love that they're the nexus of Spring socializing for PNMs and sororities--I wish there was something like Theta Encore or a Greek Sing that PNMs could attend, instead of field parties--but it isn't unusual. But the centrality of alcohol in Greek life at Ole Miss is a whole 'nother discussion entirely!

Oh my! And the Greek Life office condones this?

There's an awful lot of pearl-clutching in this thread. I agree that PNMs should make fools of themselves, but if alcohol is a normal part of the social life at a university (as it obviously is/was at mine), it's really ridiculous to act like a young woman is of poor character for having a beer or two.

DBB - I think you need to read over your post and edit

Bless your heart, my pearl clutching is not directed at underage drinking, rather at the university not minding that underage students are attending parties on campus before they have even matriculated-looking at it from a risk management standpoint, both for the sponsoring groups as well as the university.

Ooo! I don't!:D

Really? How do you think Alabama, Auburn, Florida, etc, etc fraternities get all their pledges? I know lots of young men who had a bid to a fraternity before they were accepted at the college. Happens all the time at Bama and Auburn and Florida. I don't think they're giving them out in Sunday School class.....

I am well aware how fraternities give out bids during the summer. It doesn't reduce the potential risk management problems that the combination of alcohol, rivers and inner tubes can provide.

Indeed - I can clutch my pearls if I want. We have enough problems with restrictions on students at parties that we planned a month in advance with hired security and kept to a strict guest list. I can't believe you would encourage a 17 year old to go by herself to a party with strangers and that if there is drinking, she should go ahead to fit in. :eek:

Pretty sure how boys rush is not relevant to how a lady should behave :rolleyes:

I was referring the to previous post that decried allowing students who were not enrolled yet to attend parties. I'm NOT saying the drinking underage is OK!

My biggest worry was that she was being sent on a trip very far from home to meet with strangers to go drinking and that it was arranged by alumnae. That seemed very very risky to me.

Here is something else that no one has mentioned which I think is important that has nothing to do with the drinking and not drinking problem. When no one knows you and you go to parties with a group of XYZ members as their guests for the weekend and even if you also are going to some other parties with the ABC members or whatnot, people are going to associate you with those sororities. That can limit your options very fast sorry to say so you better be sure you like those sororities a lot and hope they like you and want to bid you.