I keep telling her all that but she has put on her big girl pants and make some decisions. I'm not there to hold her hand or fix things or stomp my feet or whatever unhappy parents do in high school. She'll have to live with the outcome. I've talked to her until I don't have much else I can say. We shall see. :(

I'm glad you are handling this the right way. From what I read here, there are a lot of mothers who would be on the horn with a whole bunch of people who can't help and can only develop a negative opinion of your daughter. And you, but that's less important in this case. I hope she takes some time to think about everything. Send her here to read about not getting your first choice, what to do when rush doesn't work out the way you expected, etc. But do suggest she only read, and not write out her frustrations. She won't get a lot of sympathy and that will make her defensive, and you know how it goes from there.

I feel for you AUMOM..as moms it is so hard to be so helpless..especially when we know more than they do:o. There are many, many girls that get thier third choice and go on to realize that they can't see themselves anywhere eles. I have even seen girls decline thier bid and then later regret it once they get to know other girls that did take thier second or third choice and are happy about it.

What it comes down to is if she wants to be greek or not at this point. Like someone eles suggested..have her go to the new member activites..she has nothing to lose because she cant join another sorority for a year. She doesn't have to initiate if she doesn't want to. She may find her people and love it after a while..hugs to both of you!!

I would also encourage her to stay away from the #1 girls..they are doing nothing but confusing her and giving her false hope. They arent really her friends if they are telling her otherwise. If they are telling her that they will get her in next year...we all know alot can change in a year and they can't really get anyone in..it's the chapter's decision.

She doesn't have to make decisions tonight, though, and this is one of those things that a good night sleep can really change.

Awwwww you all are sooooo sweet. Thanks for all the pm's, I really needed that! Seems as though she took her big girl pants to school, and wearing them now and giving things a try!! I encouraged her, and reminded her that there are girls there that this may have been their 1st choice, everyone is different y'know, and she might be making them feel bad. She's such a sucker.....hates to make someone feel bad, so hopefully things will work out well. and as DeltaBetaBaby said, she doesn't have to make all those decisions tonight. Thanks so much again for the kind words! Its been a helluva long day!

Have you checked out the "I didn't get my first choice . . . it gets better" thread? It might give both of you some concrete examples of it working out!

Keep encouraging her to stay. One of my former students and daughter of a frend had the same reaction last year. Kind of a different situation, it was her first choice, but something changed for her between prefs and bid day.She was very unhappy on bid day, cried and would not stay at the bid day activities. It even made it hard for my daughter because she had really pushed hard for her during rush. Her mother convinced her to stay and now she is a very active memeber. She was voted funniest pledge and everyone seems to love her. She even moved into the house last year as a freshman, which is very uncommon. Just keep encouraging her to stay with it and I am sure it will work out.

I've walked in your shoes.
 

AUMom I was in your shoes after Auburn rush a couple of years ago and I know how hard this time must be for you and your daughter. My daughter's roomate and suitemates, and it seemed everyone at the time, got their first choice. After receiving her bid, my daughter was very upset and disapointed, but decided to get to know the girls in "her" sorority better before making any final decisions. After a couple of weeks she finally told us that she was staying with her sorority and became a sister later that Fall. Looking back, she is very glad that she didn't let her bid day emotions overwhelm her, and now she has developed close friendships with several of her sisters and has had a blast during her time at Auburn. Not being Greek doesn't preclude that experience, but it is a nice safety net.

As someone else already stated, your daughter loses nothing by spending some time to get to know these girls who have invited her to join them, but she may miss out on some great friendships and experiences if she makes a decision while she is still emotional and hurting. Praying for a great outcome!

I get contacted more and more from local girls going to Bama and Auburn for recs. We try to hook them up with someone from at least the city in which they live to give them the best chance they can.

Anyone else notice the number of girls from California?? RANDOM!

Well, Liberty Township is just N of greater Cincinnati, as is Mason (many residents working in Cinci) and Batavia is just east of Cinci, so 4 of the 8 are from SW Ohio/Greater Cinci area.

My daughter bawled her eyes out after opening her bid...and of course called me (450 miles away) just crushed (my heart broke too, for her). She actually REALLY liked the house she got a bid from all throughout rush, but the house that she ranked #1 dirty rushed the daylights out of her, saying things like "you KNOW what you are, you are a ________", and "We all talk about you after the parties, everyone loves you...blah blah blah...". Really does a number on the pnm's, you know? Anyway, she wiped her tears and reluctantly went to her bid night events, arriving 30 minutes after everyone else! She was warmly and affectionately greeted by some of the older girls who may have had an inkling as to what was going on. Well, fast forward four years....my daughter just graduated from college and had the most fabulous collegiate experience as an ALPHA PHI!!!!! No regrets, no what ifs. Wonderful in every respect!!! It does get better :)

Awesome story! However at the bold, I can't imagine that the women who are dirty rushing know the consequences of it. I mean seriously, how could they?

Well Done
 

Congratulations to all of the Auburn chapters for making quota again! RFM again shows that it helps keep more women in the system.

As for some of the stories shared above (disappointed PNMs on bid day) I think I am fortunate that the group that promised me a bid ended up releasing me before pref! (This was wayyyyyyyyy back in the day when quota was set before pref. The chapter knew that they would be several members under total after recruitment. They contacted me to tell me that as a loyal ABC I should drop out of recruitment and they guaranteed me a COB bid. Talk about your dirty rushing!!!!) Made it so much easier to fall in love with another chapter that I had liked all week at pref so I was a happy girl on Bid Day!

My daughter's prayers last night were answered. She was proud to accept a bid from Kappa Alpha Theta.