You look like a really ugly drag queen and you're a woman. So please the next time you have something to say about my makeup please check yourself. By the way, please learn how to clean brushes. It's not that hard.

Hey bitch, you might want to move further away from me than 10 feet when you're talking about me. You think you're whispering, but you're not.

Also, I'm still right.

It's REALLY not a big deal. You're probably not going to have any interaction w/ your client today, THAT'S why you didn't need to know. I know you dislike our boss (and I do understand that she's tough and not always easy to please) but DAMN, do you have to make everything a big deal?

2 weeks til I'm out of here.

LOL I just saw this. My current company is moving to this in Summer 2014...SOOOO glad I will not be here for that.

The fact that I keep typing while you are talking to me should clue you in that I do not have time for this. Goodbye.

Still this. Always this.

Your final was TUESDAY. I told you last week, I posted in facebook, it was on the school calendar.

Don't pull the whole crying thing TODAY when I inform you of this as you try to turn in your essay. I have already submitted grades and don't feel like your failure to follow instructions should result in more work for me.

So..........I have a 2nd interview with an AWESOME school district next week. All I want to do is walk into my boss's office and hand him my resignation letter. I really can't wait for that day!

^^^ WOOWOO!! BESTEST LUCK!

Belle, would love to be there for that conversation, too, lol.

Why the hell are you asking me?!?!?!?!!?

I HAVE ASKED YOU 3 TIMES NOW TO FOLLOW UP WITH THE TEAM DIRECTLY INSTEAD OF ASKING ME. I don't have the answers, they do. This is why we had a kick off call with them and introduced you to them so you would feel comfortable reaching out to them. What are you not getting????????

Did you really just say that to me??? As my supervisor......you said that to one of your teachers; one of your best teachers. And, you wonder why there has been a mass exodus from here.

It's not the instructor's fault you can't pass the class, maybe it's just you.

Your children have (individually) graduated from high school and college in May. Now your daughter is getting married this weekend. These are wonderful blessings. Quit your bitching and acting like attending each event is a personal inconvenience of spectacular proportions. Act like a decent person. You don't get do overs in life. Do you really want your children's memories of their big life events to be that their dad didn't want to be there?

Do you know your daughter came to school dressed like a hooker today?

Scratch that, a hooker wouldn't even try to wear those shorts.

At the end of the school year we always see many more body parts than we would even want to imagine exist on a student. <blink blink>

Sir, I suggest you purchase a bar of soap instead of those new eyeglasses (even though my commission on those glasses would be great)

"The last 5 people you hired to do this job have failed. It might be time for you to trust my judgement and let me lead the team you hired me to manage."

Glad I got that out lol

No matter how many times I read this it still doesn't make sense....

Let me get this straight........
I was lied to all week about how well the bedbug situation has been cleared up and how we're all bug-free so that I wouldn't quit.... then I come in for my shift, find out the truth, and on top of that and my (normally pleasant and social) co-worker isn't even speaking to me?
Here's a big middle finger to my current place of employment (which won't be for long).

Anyone want a couple midnight shifts babysitting psychotic people?

I've officially been here over 8 years. And you still treat me like a newb. Also, two weeks is not "plenty of vacation", and you're a nosey control freak. If I wasn't paid as well as I am, I would have been out of here a looooooong time ago, but I can't bring myself to give up this kind of income (for now).

Counting the days until I turn in my resignation letter......

Damn! Do you need a Pepcid or something? I have heard you belch no fewer than 10 times today. Saying excuse me is fine and all, but that's just nasty.

When I come into your office, see you are in the middle of something and politely say "I have a question for you, whenever you have a moment", do NOT answer with "Go ahead" if you're going to get all frazzled, stop what you're doing and ask me to the repeat the question because I interrupted you. I said, "when you have a moment". If you are in the middle of something, you could have very easily answered, "let me finish this thought" or "come back in 15". Don't try to multitask if you can't handle it then get frustrated at me even though I was trying to be considerate.

Actually, the person in question that did this wasn't too frustrated...but I have had that happen with others before. Still, it defeats the purpose!! I asked you have a moment--if you don't that's totally fine! Just don't make me repeat myself just because you thought you could do two things at once.

I quit!

An entire class groaned when told I would not be teaching on campus in the fall.

Yes, you will miss me when I'm gone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1Zcffw76qM

Please please please don't send me on any more errands today. It's too hot outside!!!

I'm entitled to benefits.

Wow, that one kills me.

I love having you visit our office, but I'm going to have to ask you to not marinate in whatever fragrance you decided on today before coming in to work. I'm already a bit under the weather, and I'm not especially fond of your Baby Powder Infused Stripper Scented Throatpunch.

Also, I really, really need to bail on my afternoon meetings and go see a doctor - pretty sure this is an ear infection.

Lol at baby powder infused stripper scented throat punch. My coworker wears a scent from the same line: gardenia infused stripper scented throat punch.

What I want to say: "athletic" has THREE syllables, not four. There is no vowel between the h and the l.

What do you mean you FORGOT? You divided up a pile of papers and one didn't get in a pile and you didn't notice a whole in the list of things to do? :mad:

Shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!!! Seriously, you start nattering on about God only knows what and continue to do so even as I'm walking away from you and not responding to you. You're like a really annoying fly, except it's illegal for me to smack you. I need to check if it's legal to throw cigarette boxes at you, because I'm gonna do it the next time you start yammering.

I've been slacking for weeks. Why is everyone still telling me how awesome I am? Does everybody else suck that much???

Heaven forbid that anyone should think that that vendor you chose does a terrible job.

Just because you all just figured out I'm probably the youngest person at this agency does not mean to be babied on the basics.

Please teach me about new things when it comes to strategy and the industry; I welcome that!

I do NOT need an email reminder to change my voicemail and set my out of office when I am going to be out. I've been working for 3 years--I know damn well to put an out of office on when I'm not in!!!

I am WAY more offended than I should be. But damn!

Holy shit! Your kids are just as annoying as you!

How is it that you have a legitimate excuse to leave early EVERY Friday?

Y'all need to shut the hell up. Or I will go to your boss and tell him you clearly don't have enough to do - but based on his shenanigans, he doesn't either.

Still. Cram it with walnuts, please.

Do not expect to call me with an hour and twenty minutes left in the work week to ask me how to handle something that I do not have the authority or clearance to even touch.

Gonna be such a long Saturday, ALL I can think about is the Postal Service show tonight. BUT, it's my last Saturday at this job! Hoozah!