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Congrats on this opportunity. I am sooooooo happy for you!!!

Good luck with this possibility, liltrixx!!!

Hope this helps
 

Hi Liltrixx,

After reading your post that said it is hard to take advice on moving forward from all of these women who did find their sorority homes, I was moved to write (so much so that I had to join this site).

Over twenty years ago (in 1984) I went through recruitment at UF. I attended college with several of my best friends from high school who also went through recruitment with me. Of all of us, I think it meant the most to me. I remember visiting my aunt and uncle who were in college at UF when I was a little girl and seeing the sorority members with their shirts on and wanting to be part of it even then. Unfortunately, it wasn't in the stars. I preffed at the sorority I really wanted to be part of two years in a row. Both times I got that phone call. Mind you I was also open to joining another chapter but never received a bid. Two of my friends were legacies to houses and didn't receive bids (one had an active sister in the house!!!) My best friend did become an A D Pi and several others became little sisters at fraternities.

This is not, however a sob story...it's an encouraging one. After recruitment, I joined many clubs in college including Savants and the University Justice Staff. I also did my share of partying. They really were some of the best years in my life. I graduated from UF and attended law school at UM. I also married and have three wonderful children and a loving husband. I am a Vice President and General Counsel for a national insurance company. In other words, while not being in a sorority did leave a void and hurt, my life has not been any the worse for it and I truely can't miss what I didn't have.

My advice to you is to look forward. I hope you do find your Greek home but rest assured that even if you do not, one day the pain and rejection goes away. I was popular in high school, pretty, had 3.8 honors GPA and was member of many clubs. For whatever reason it wasn't meant to be.

I hope this helps. For all of the rest of you, let me say that I am definitely not bitter on the Greek system. I wish I could have been part of it and will encourage my nine year old daughter to do so (hopefully you all will still be around when she needs recs...lol). I just wanted liltrixx to have the view from the other side.

What a great post! Thank you for sharing your story!!!

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You will be fine
 

Glad to share. It actually felt good that my story might help a bit. I'm sure you will be fine and have a great life. I was a prosecutor for ten years so let me know if you ever need mentoring in your future legal career.

Have fun and try not to think about things too much...It's easier to just move on. One day, many years from now, you will be able to look back and reflect on this whole situation and put it in perspective. Don't let it consume you.

Isn't it great to see how supportive all the women are on this site to their sisters and non-sisters alike. After all, we all share the bond of being women! Of the girls I went to college with, we are still great friends and at 40 have shared a lot of tears and laughs. Divorces, illness,weddings, kids....in other words, you don't have to be in a sorority to find the lifelong bond you long for. I'm sure it's great but there are other ways to achieve it.

Keep your head high.

Just think, ifI had pledged that sorority, I may not have met and married my husband (a greek at another school), had my kids...etc...

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*hugs* Good that it worked out in your favor-as YOU see it. Here's hoping for me!

Just for the record, this is not gospel, because nobody knows how other GLO's do their bid lists.

Not true. If liltrixx ranked them #1 and appeared anywhere on the bid list, she should have matched before anyone who ranked them #2.

Also, allowing SIP does the following...if a chapter knew they would have spots open (because expected quota still left them under total), nothing is stopping them from saying "SIP us, even if we don't have room for you on our bid list, we promise to pick you up in COB." This screws other chapters.

Yes there is. It's called "Dirty Rushing." You can't promise a PNM a bid during recruitment. Coming from an NPC chapter at Liltrixx's university, I can say with some assurance that the UCF sororities respect one another too much to make this any sort of regular practice. We help one another and have been aggressive about expansion over the last 10 years to cut down on the sizes of the individual chapters, but have also been very Panhellenic in our promotion of the new chapters and encouraging their colonization and establishment on campus.

No matter what you as a PNM put on your bid card-- whether it is 2-3 chapters or just 1, you always run the risk of not getting a bid. You have a greater chance of getting a bid by maximizing your options. Ostensibly, by pref night you're visiting chapters where you could see yourself as a member. But if you can't see yourself anywhere but ABC and you'd rather not be in a sorority at all if you can't be an ABC, you should SIP and know that you are taking that risk.