Nope, I wouldn't call another person lame for their decisions. Only you know what is right for yourself. :)

Very hard to find these days (both men and women)

Drug-free for me is a non-negotiable.
Non-drinkers.... I don't want someone who is a fallin' down drunk but if you can't have a glass of wine or a beer every now and then.....
Virgin: it depends on age. If you're 20, then it's no big deal. If you're 30, that's another story. I don't know if I would use the word lame but I might use the word weird!