I've been following this discussion all day -- and thinking this ^^^. Thank you for clearly expressing my jumbled thoughts!

To the moms of IU's PNMs: As a mom who barely survived watching her daughter navigate an SEC recruitment that held few disappointments / surprises last fall, my heart goes out to you. I'm not sure how you ladies are managing to hold it together. Any recruitment is difficult; this one seems barbaric. I wish the best for you and your daughters.

Same (pretty much) poo, different year.

The IU bed quota system is NOT going to change until the administration forces it to do so (ice skating Satan before that happens) or until NPC groups pull their chapters from the campus in protest of the way rush is run (again, ice skating Satan before that happens).

Any group that does things differently on a campus is going to run up against issues in rush. We had rush issues because we were the only group who did not have a mixer with a fraternity on bid night, we had a party to whom we could invite our friends and boyfriends instead. Something as inconsequential and silly as that probably caused some women to rank us lower or cut us altogether. Something that is FOUR HOURS LONG out of an entire college career. But when you're 18-19 those things matter. So if we had that issue, can you imagine how women look at unhoused chapters on a campus where everything revolves around being housed? To say "you can have real sisterhood without a house" is missing the point.

And finally, if they couldn't make 20-12-8-3 work with a shortened schedule...then POSTPONE rush. Postpone it to freaking March if needed. Everyone has 6 week pledge programs and it's not like a Washington State (I think they're the ones) situation where pledges move immediately into the house. Better to wait than to probably end up with the most anti-Greek group of disappointed rushees ever. I can't imagine that the women who had their rushes go as they wanted were anyone but people the sororities knew to begin with.

ETAsk: Was it solely Panhellenic's call to cut a day from rush and not reschedule or were they basically forced into that by the administration saying "rush happens this week or never"? Sorry if the answer is somewhere in this thread.

I posted this earlier, but my step daughter went through IU rush last year and she ended up happy with a house she wanted. I am not even her mother and I barely survived this with her....it is barbaric. Believe me, when I got that text on bid day from "I GOT IT", I was crying for her out of relief. I had told her dad we needed to be ready to jump in the car that evening to see her if I didn't get that text. My heart goes out to the moms as well. I know your daughters will fine in the end, they will survive whatever the result is, but it is truly agonizing to watch them go through this....

Maybe, just maybe, the ice is getting a bit thicker since AXO and another chapter are permitting seniors to live out ... : )

That depends on why the chapters did it, who actually made the decision, and where the chapters are in the campus's social pecking order.

It's the University of washington, not Washington State, that requires their new members to move in right away. FYI
But wouldn't that mean that the women who do join housed chapter live in for three years, not four?

But in the end, it can enable more women to join and live in, which can be good both from a financial and philosophic standpoint (a wee bit less anti-Greek sentiment).

Long-winded IU mom here again. Just had a really great 75 minute phone conversation with my daughter. It started out with tears and her saying this is the worst day of her life, and ended with laughter and a much brighter outlook. I quoted many of the things you said here, shared your advice, and I think it really helped. Thank you!

So far she has visited her "bottom" sorority and the sorority she liked. She felt that things went well at the sorority she liked, but not quite as well as the first two rounds. I was honest with her, since I already think this one is a longshot, and told her if she didn't think it went fantastic, then they probably think the same thing. She didn't like to hear it, but she agreed. I'd rather she has all her disappointment in one day than get her hopes crushed again on Tuesday. She left the "bottom" sorority party with the same opinion as the first two rounds - it just didn't click. She had made up her mind before we even talked that she's not going to list them. Right or wrong, it's her choice and it is what it is. But I'm glad we talked before her last party, which happens to be one of the unhoused sororities. She sort of had an epiphany while we talked. She realized that if this sorority had a house, it would've definitely be one of her top choices. We talked about the advantages and disadvantages of living in a house, and what she really wants from her sorority experience. While living in a house is high on her list of "sorority experiences", she realized she could really be happy with this sorority. Now she is at that party, and I hope she is knocking them dead!

So now she's excited about this sorority and I'm excited for her. But I hope I didn't just do something bad - get her hopes up again. Just because it is an unhoused sorority doesn't mean she's certain to get a bid. It's still competitive! So now I'll be looking forward to Tuesday evening with both excitement and fear.

Until Tuesday,
Exhausted Mom

Theoretically. Like I said it all depends on why they're doing it.

That was my point. They live in starting the fall after they pledge (or I'm sure there are December graduates and such). Postponing rush would not have been a financial burden on anyone, house-wise, because no one is moving in right away.

I AM an advisor at IU, however my role is to ADVISE-- I can talk about other systems for hours, but as long as the hunger games survivors say things like "I like how exclusive Greek life is" and don't vote for change I can't do more than give my opinion.

The truth of the matter is that large pledge classes carry a stigma. Even with live out policies, the houses will never be ole miss huge. Panhellenic tried to alieviate some of the problem by adding the unhoused chapters, but as you can see from the moms posting earlier, girls may decide they don't want them since they don't have a physical house (although I have heard that at least one group does have an apartment block and the women love it).

Maybe when I've had more sleep I can reflect more on this, but is a woman has a full schedule for 3 party then she should be thrilled-- no matter if the houses are housed or not.

Wow, what a great conversation you had with her. I am so glad she is picking herself up and looking at things differently. All kinds of fingers and toes crossed for her! I know you will let us know the outcome on Tuesday! I hope you are enjoying a nice glass of wine right now.

*Outsider peeking in*
I've been reading this thread and have to say:
Gotta hand it to the IU Mama's and Sisters and PNM's.....I don't know how y'all are getting through recruitment with all the changes, the delays, the cuts, the tears....everything! My respect grows more and more for everyone who is involved. It's beyond a tough cookie kind of rush....but you guys make the best of an absolutely heinous situation. :-) I know that I wouldn't have half of that kind of steel.

I know you must be exhausted so don't answer now if can't...:)but if all houses had to take the same quota, wouldn't the "large pledge" class stigma disappear since they all of the same size? I am realistic to know there would still be stronger recruiting chapters than others......

Every year I read about IU and shake my head. It is a bit ridiculous that these chapters, including my own sorority, continue to use bed quota. That being said, to all the mothers that are upset that their daughters only have unhoused chapters left. Do your jobs as advisers to your daughters and tell them the truth that they need to hear. No, you don't always get the exact outcome you want in life, but sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and make the best out of it. If those unhoused chapters weren't at IU, your daughters likely would have NO options. They should be grateful for the opportunity given to them by these "clubs" if they have any desire to be Greek at IU. It's an unfortunate truth that many girls will have no options and would take any bid. A house doesn't stand in your wedding as your maid of honor ten years after you graduate. A sister does that. If your daughter wants to be a part of a real sisterhood with lifelong benefits, help her get past the idea that the most important ingredient is a house.