Chapter total at Auburn is 180ish. Look in the Glom (yearbook) in the library and count the headshots of the sororities and you will see there is not much difference in size. All the groups have great members and would be great to become a member of. COB/COR has never been a big option at Auburn. Some girls have done COB/COR or rerushed successfully at Auburn, but don't count on it. Good luck to all PNM's at AU at your parties today and remember that those girls liked you enough to invite your to their parties. It is like going to the ice cream shop - there are lots of delicious flavors. You may have had your heart set on chocolate chip, but they ran out before they got to you. You can choose another flavor and feel like you are settling, choose another flavor and find it was your best choice, or you may decide you don't want ice cream after all.

Pref Day update
 

Emma just texted. It's good news and bad news again.

The good news is that she will go to preference with three invitations.

The bad news is that she was released by two of her favorites. Her one remaining favorite, is the Reds. She is feeling confused because she said that it went "really, really well" with the Cubs and her hostess had told her that she "really hoped to see her tomorrow (pref)". I told her that the hostess was only one girl in the chapter, and that the 3 you have left are all you can worry about. I quoted one of the posts in this thread - "Try to wipe the slate clean and mentally start fresh with just these 3".

I believe that she will maximize her options, but is a little confused and hurting today, and hoping for the best.

Apparently, they are taking their cell phones away so we won't hear from these PNM's again until this evening.

If she hasn't already formally withdrawn, I would recommend she at least attend pref. She's not bound to anything and can withdraw after. Pref can sometimes change your mind about a group.

I'm going to go way out on a limb here and hope I don't regret it. And I will also say that I don't know Auburn or the reputations of any of the groups. But I do know what it is like to be in a "lesser" group.

Being insulted, rejected and embarrassed works both ways. The group that apparently wants Cassie and invited Cassie back and she is rejecting feels the same way. (I'm assuming that Cassie has been invited back to one of the "lesser" groups.)

While the PNMs often feel hurt when they are dropped, it works the same way in the chapters. Chapters have rush crushes that drop them and it is very disappointing. It is also hurtful to be in a "lesser" group that has much to offer (both now and after college) and discover that women would rather not be Greek at all than associate with you.

So while I do sympathize with you and Cassie, the rejection and hurt goes both ways. If Cassie (or any other PNM) doesn't accept an invitation to preference, the chapter is insulted, rejected and embarrassed as well.

It is said so many times on GC. She should really at least go to preference. She has nothing to lose and maybe much to gain. But at least she will have finished the process and can make a decision.

They're allowed to do that?!

I hope Cassie gives preference a chance - sometimes it can be the girls that you pledge with that become the most important part of your Greek life. An amazing pledge class that she will be with for all the fun swaps and events can be the tipping point.So much happens in the fall at Auburn that she won't want to miss out on.One of my daughter's pledge sisters really wasn't sure about continuing or dropping before bid day and is now one of the strongest sisters in her pledge class and is so glad she stuck it out!

Honey, I advise you to spend a little more than 2.5 seconds on GC and search my posts in the recruitment forum before saying I would "critize" a sorority.

How long does quota last? I mean, what is the time frame after formal rush when you can keep bidding to fill quota if you don't make it, if you're already at total? This is the thing that has always confounded me at these ginormous rushes. I know you can bid up to total (if you're not at total) any time.

I completely agree with this! I hope Cassie at least goes to Pref...she has nothing to lose and certainly does not have to sign a bid card after the ceremony. At pref (if she goes), look not just at the women she's talked to in the GLO, but at the women sitting AROUND her. Those women will be her pledge sisters...the future of the chapter. In a chapter the size of the sororities at Auburn, there is almost always a group of women you'll settle into as great friends...and most often, it's your pledge sisters...not the actual girls who talk to you during recruitment.

I am so sorry for Cassie, recruitment is such an emotional time and its a real shame that it hasn't worked out for her. I can understand that her mind is made up about the remaining house on her schedule but if possible I would encourage her to attend pref. It's clear that there is a house that wants her and that may help her feel less rejected. Good luck to you both, whatever she decides to do.

Really good advice from the above posters. Go to your pref party if you still can. You won't be the only PNM with one or two parties today. OR, later you can sit in your dorm room smugly thinking you were too good to go to a pref party at a lower tier sorority while your roommate/friends are playing flag football, getting big sisters, going to pledge swaps, making new friends, etc. this fall. No, you don't have to join a sorority at Auburn, but don't feel like you didn't have the opportunity. Good luck and I hope everything turns out alright.

That's a good question and I don't know the answer to that.

AUMom2010 I just sent you a PM. Please have Cassie go to Pref. More then one girl has had their heart and mind changed while sitting or standing in a preference party. If she does not feel a connection after that she is under no obligation to sign a bid card. That would be what I would advise my own daughter in this situation. She might get into pref and there may be other PNM's that feel the same way and they are all great girls. It might be the start of a great pledge class and the turning point for the group and she'll be the one with her pledge class that has made a difference.

Thanks to those who have posted messages of support and to those who have sent private messages. She is meeting with her Pi Chi, who will probably encourage her to go to the party.

Whether or not to go will be her decision. In the course of being her Mom for the past 18 years, I have found that she has pretty good instincts and almost always makes good decisions, and so I will trust her to make the right decision in this case.

I will probably continue to lurk here for another day or two, but i may or may not post.

She does have another campus activity which will hold tryouts next week. hopefully that will have a better outcome.

And I wasn't going to mention this, but we found out that her grandfather has cancer this week. She doesn't know yet, so please keep her in your thoughts.

I really LOVE your post and thank you for your honesty! I completely understand becasue I have worked with a chapter in a similar situation and it IS really awful and hurful to be on that side of things. This was a lesson I did not learn until I started advising. Like many have said, you only spend a few short years in college and your "sorority life" really takes off after college. The goods news for the chapter I worked with is that our part of the country is a little more forgiving than the south, so with a little work and love the have flourished and accomplished amazing things in a short period of time.

Sallie - I am so glad you didn't pass up an opportunity to be part of an amazing group. I am assuming you are a Tri-Delta from your user-name. Tri-Delta is an amazing group and some of my very favorite NPC mentors are your sisters. Great lesson here. Thank you for posting.

P.S. I love your HQ building!