Originally Posted by StargazerLily
(Post 2180533)
My SIL (Hubby's sis) got married this weekend. Short simple, to the point, that was the most podunk, backwoods, whitetrash, ghetto, n----- wedding I've ever witnessed. Yes, it was an inter-racial marriage, and no, I do not have a problem with that, however, the actions and attitutdes of the events that transpired - well.... yeah.). Her new husband is an amazing person. He's good for her, he's good to her - they are perfect for one another. That being said, my husband's family is.... well, different. He was an apple that fell a LONNNNNG way from the tree, and this weekend simply mortified us.
His sister has been a single welfare mom for several years. She has no money. Just stating the facts. Her wedding was 4 hours away on the beach. The wedding invitation was simply a post card with a picture the two of them had done at the walmart photo studio. It's not a very good picture, but it's the best one they had of the 2 of them. Fine, that's cool. I understand saving money on wedding invitations if you're having a small destination wedding.
Months go by. The last week in August, I realized I never heard a peep about any bridal showers. So I call my MIL so ask "Hey, is anyone doing a bridal shower for X?" Nope, no bridal shower. There were no attendants, so no MOH to throw a shower for her. So, trying to be the good SIL that I am, I asked MIL if we should put one together for her? X and Hubby-to-be did not have a gift registry. Didn't care to do one. They just wanted cash and gift cards from everyone. I called SIL to ask her if she WANTED a bridal shower. She said yes, but that she wasn't doing a registry. So I struggled to come up with a decent FB invite for a bridal shower for lunch time the day of the wedding, since everyone would be in town. I only did this after I confirmed that the lunch time bridal shower would not interfere with her getting her hair or makeup or anything like that done before the ceremony.
So I find a restaurant for us to have the shower at. There were 8 people in attendance. Myself, the bride, MIL, Bride's aunt, and Grandmother,and 3 ladies from the groom's family. The theme was Pots and Panties - so that people could bring lingerie if they wanted to, or traditional gifts if that worked better for them.
I was the ONLY person who brought a gift. Her mother, (my MIL) said "her gift is coming from her dad and I later." Aunt gave her a gift card before the shower, and granny didn't give anything. For his family, the 3 ladies were confused somehow and were under the impression that I was a lingerie consultant and that they were going to buy lingerie FROM ME to give TO THE BRIDE. I have NO IDEA where that confusion came from. Certainly not from the invite. So... they gave her cash and told her to go buy herself something with it. Good grief. Podunk ghetto people, don't you know what the purpose of a shower is? Oh, and the bride didn't even bother to tell me thank you for the gifts I did get her.
Next was the ceremony. The beach location is a popular wedding spot. There were 3 other weddings happening at the same time. All of those weddings had arches and seats and ceremony set ups. The one I attended had nothing. X wanted absolutely NOTHING traditional about her wedding. And that's cool. What she had made her happy, and that's what matters. For me, it was a little weird. Everyone just stood around huddled like a football crowd. Walking around taking pictures while the minister said his piece. It was cool.. but like I said, for me, it was a little weird. As far as pictures.... she had no family pictures made at all. I take that back - she had no family pictures made with her side of the family. She made pictures with him and her daughter, and her and his family, but no pictures with her and her family (her brother - my hubby, or her parents, or the family that came out from California or anything). There was no music.
Next was the "reception" if you can call it that. This was the worst part of the whole evening. It was at a local family seafood restaurant. Hubby and I KNEW that it was going to be one of those "order and pay for yourself" kind of things. We were prepared. We walked in and in at least 4 different places throughout the restaurant, there were signs posted for the buffet costs. Breakfast and lunch was $9.99, Seafood Dinner Buffet was $21.49. The signs were CLEARLY POSTED EVERYWHERE. Hubby and I took one look at the buffet, and chose to order something less expensive off the menu. Every. single. other. person with the wedding bolted for the buffet.
When the checks came, people started murmuring about the price, and started ranting and raving. So, bride talks to the manager. Apparently, everyone else was under the impression that the buffet was only $9.99. We didn't arrive until 7pm, there was absolutely no way that it could have been mistaken for lunch time. So, my cheap ass, welfare-card-carrying SIL pitched a hissy fit to the manager, who, in an effort to make the bride and her guests happy, cut the price for 40 something people to only $9.99. And the bride told everyone that gratuity was already included. I checked my bill. No, it wasn't. So I can guarantee that the poor waitress got screwed, just as the restaurant got screwed by this party.
My cheap ass FIL came up to us after he received his "corrected" bill and asked us if ours got corrected, and I said "Actually, no. We read the signs that are posted in 4 different places throughout the restaurant and clearly understood that the buffet was $21.49 per person before we ordered, so therefore, we ordered off the menu." Then hubby escorted me away before giving my FIL a chance to respond to my bitchy comment. My FIL is a cheap bastard. I guess my SIL comes by it naturally. Of course, after granny didnt get anything for her for the shower, I guess it truly runs in the family.
I was mortified. No, it's not my place to worry about what they do. I understand that they don't have much money, but in an effort to minimize her own cost, she's chose to have a beach destination wedding, making her guests pay for travel and out of town accommodations, and they also had to pay for their own meal. If we hadn't seen something we wanted on the menu, hubby and I would not have eaten there, and would have eaten somewhere else later, so that's really not a big deal. However, Hubby and I had to pay for boarding for our pets while we were gone this weekend. We weren't going to drive town until Saturday morning and arrive just before the wedding and only stay overnight 1 night. Because of the AWFUL shower, we went down Friday night, paid for one more nights hotel stay, and one more night of boarding for our pets, and the shower was a complete flop. I wish I hadnt tried to do the "right thing" by hosting a shower for the ungratfeul little bitch.
We didnt even want to go. We knew it was going to be awful, but we also figured we would never hear the end of it if we didn't go. I SO wish I could have my damn weekend back. What a complete waste of my time and money.
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