Clara Mom, my daughter felt the same way. She loved one house and got invited back over and over until perf! Then they dropped her. She was very sad (crying) but she did get two invites to perf. I gave her the whole "pull yourself together" speech. I also reminded her that part of the reason she started the whole process was to be part of the greek system. I also stressed that in a sorority of over 100 girls how many will you "be pals" with? You will find your group within the group. My daughter is in the midst of the new member period and still feels "out of it" and overwhelmed (loving it all!) but as with all good things it will take time to formulate friendships.

Relax. It's almost over! :)

Yes, but we're talking about SIX chapters, here. That's a full one-third of the women in the Greek system*. You can't tell me that any PNM can honestly rule out that many women as unfit for her to associate with.

*Okay, it's only NPC chapters, but you get the idea.

Yep. 6 out of what, 17? That is a huge pecentage. Especially considering these are large chapters. Sure to find sympatico women/potential sisters in that mixture.

I wouldn't. If her daughter doesn't like any of her choices, then she should withdraw. There are girls who love the houses she is rejecting. The members of those houses deserve to have girls who love them and want to be there. Let someone else have the bid, if you don't like the house. It's not fair to the members or other PNM.

If she doesn't like any of her choices, she should withdraw, even if it means that she probably can't open rush.

KDCat, the problem with your argument is her daughter more than likely doesn't actually know what she wants. She got herself set on too few chapters too early and is not dealing with the rejection well. These chapters are too big and have too much diversity for her to really not like them. At this point she has met something like 9 girls out of around 175 in each of the chapters. At the chapters she loved, she has met a few great girls and is making a lifelong decision based on those 2 or 3 girls. And more than likely those 2 or 3 girls who she's making this lifelong decision around, she's had probably 1 5-minute conversation with. That's not the house - that's one rockin' rusher.

In this case, she can't even be deciding based on the lowest tier houses because there aren't 6 "worst houses" at Illinois. I hope she sticks with it. We all know that it sucks to experience the rejection of recruitment but the fact is at a school this size, there is just about no way BUT to have that kind of rejection.

I think there are probably a lot of people following this thread thinking "I hope she's not feeling that way about MY chapter. We have so much to offer!"

Getting ready to head to my chapter to help with pref! I am so so incredibly proud of them--they looked stunning yesterday and seemed to be giving it their all. :)

As for the daughter, rec girl and niece in this thread, I hope they have a great day!

Clara Mom, I'm sorry your daughter is really feeling rejected and hurt but I have to say that I'm happy to hear that she hasnt withdrawn. Anytime I hear about a PNM who is as upset as she seems to be, they usually just give up. I'm glad she gave those 6 a shot and hopefully she seems something special in her preference chapters today!

I've had no update from one of my rec girls. My other rec girl's mom (one of my best friends, who was in a different house at U of I from mine) gave me only a vague update on her daughter, and informed me that of her daughter's top 5, she is not going back to 3 of them (including my house and her own house) - just that they weren't a fit. Her daughter did go through 3rd stage, has a ton to offer any house, is very self-confident, has kept a very open mind through the whole process, and will be going to pref today (I'm just not sure where), so it is entirely possible that she is 100% pleased with how things are going. Mom just didn't say where she is going for pref or how she's feeling about it, so I'm not prying at this point. Everyone's nerves are a little on edge (sometimes us moms are the most edgy of all).

Good luck to all!

I totally agree that she hasn't met enough of any one chapter to really know that she won't fit in that chapter, much less know that she won't fit in at all six.

But if it were my chapter, I would prefer that she didn't take a bid if she disliked us that much.

It's just one person's opinion, not an argument. YMMV.

My rec girl is preffing at...

Delta Gamma
Kappa Alpha Theta
Kappa Delta

Her three favorites! I am so excited for her!

Aannnnd just minutes before the first party, it started to drizzle. Poor PNMs!!!

At least it's almost over. Clara mom, wish your daughter could know what we know, that inside each house are sisters who will stand by you and those who won't, those who will be there throughout your life, and those who will surprise you with their generosity just because you are their sister. There will also sadly be those who disappoint or fall short of your expectations. The sisters who wow you at recruitment may not be seen from again after life goes back to normal. The ones you never saw at recruitment might amaze you with their kindness and leadership. It's not just about realizing you can find sisters in every house. It's about knowing each house has its good and bad and you can't just hang on to what you saw in the movie trailer.

CubbieBlue,

Good luck to her! I'm sure she'll have a great time today and will love her new house!

Can I edit this a bit and use it for a card that I'm writing for the new members? Assuming these are your original thoughts, so will attribute it to Barnard1897 unless you PM me otherwise :)

Yes, my own thoughts! Will PM you.