Question for all:

Does it matter to you how many men a woman has slept with (she has no children); is there an upper limit?

Follow-up question:

What about if she's not happy with the number of women you have slept with?

Ladies, if you'd like to answer, please reverse the pronouns. :D

oh wooow!

i am not particularly concerned with the #. you can sleep with one person and catch something/knock her up, or 25 and nothing happens. as long as that # STOPS where i begin? im good with whatever. just dont lie if it comes up.

And you are exactly right. No argument for me on that. :rolleyes:

What she did in the past is her business, I don't care to know. :confused:

On the other hand I would hope if it were a large or small number of men that she would have learned somethings that make my experience with her better. ;)

It is truly none of her business how many I have been with:cool:, just like it is none of my business how many she has been with. Just make sure while I am the one I am the only one.

I feel that a man should be held to the same standard that they place on women. Men always preach about how they don't want a woman who has been around the block a lot. Well, the same standard should apply to them. Unfortunately, I find that most men feel that its ok for THEM to be around the block but NOT OK for the women to be around the block. Double standard, yes and its wrong. I think women should start holding men to same standard that they hold us to. Why should we have to accept that they've been around the block and its cool. On the other hand, coming from a christian standpoint of view, its wrong to judge someone based on their past. What should matter is what they are doing after they have chosen to be in a relationship with you.

This is what I was getting at. I've come across many men who hold their significant other to the double-standard and I was trying to find out what GCers had to say.

I agree with 357 Nupe. Your past is your past and mine is mine. As long as that number doesn't increase while you're with me, we're straight. :cool:

But trust and believe, if your past is still present (i.e. - notorious reputation of being a slore, lol) then I will NOT be in your future. Sorry for ya!

It's funny you say that, because there's a woman at my church who has a son a little younger than I am. She told us once that his father has six different kids by six different women. I'm not sure what number she was. :rolleyes:

I don't have a limit, just whatever I'm comfortable with. Yes, I feel that it's my business, even outside of the baby mama drama and the "I might catch something" fear. Ex partners are BAGGAGE even without sex in the mix. I'm sorry, but I like to travel light. I have enough baggage of my own without adding your carry-ons. If I feel like you're carrying a load that I'm not strong enough to deal with, then I'll let you go find someone else who is so we can both be happy.

Now, the number isn't always important. I recently stopped dating a guy because his baggage off his ONE past relationship was too much--years of having sex with her had put them on this emotional level that he tried to recreate with me, right off the bat. He always respected me and never even asked for sex, but I swear, everytime he looked at me, his eyes were calling me her name. I'll fight for my man, but I can't compete with someone who's not there anymore. So, if I have to take man with 3 rolley-bags over man with 1 footlocker, then sobeit. :cool:

I do think it's a double standard for a man to say he wants a virgin or a woman who hasn't been around the block when he's been a hoe himself. Me personally, if a woman has slept with more than 3 she has no chance with me. I haven't been around the block, and I've never been a hoe, therefore I don't want a hoe or a woman that's been around the block. Fortunately, I CAN actually say I want a woman that's been with 2 or less without being a hypocrite. I've had several chances to be a player/hoe, but I turned it down everytime. It's not, nor has it ever been my thing. If a woman has kids, that's great for the men that are cool with it, but for me I don't have any kids so I don't want a woman with kids. Other than my student loan that I have to pay back:(, I have no baggage therefore I don't want to carry someone elses bags. In my past, I've always ended up dating women who have been out there, and I just got tired of it. Why should I have to be way down the line after all these other trifling jokers?

Since it was so hard for me to find a decent woman, I had given up and became celebate for 4 years. I wanted to wait for my ideal girl, someone who hasn't or doesn't hoe around. Someone who has been with the same or less men than I've been with women. I think it's only fair. Some people don't care, but I do.

When a woman ask me how many intimate relationships I've been in, I have no shame in my game. I tell the truth and hopefully she'll do the same. In my past they just kept lying to me. Well, don't sleep around if it's something you're not going to be proud of or something that you feel you have to lie about. I'm not perfect, no one is, but the high number of sexual partners, women with kids, past bad boys, and cheaters is something that I can't get down with. There's my 2 cents.:D

I don't think anything's wrong with a guy who's had multiple partners, as long as he doesn't have any STDs or anything like that. I'm totally against holding a guy's past against him, as long as it has nothing to do with me. Of course I would prefer a guy who hasn't slept around, but as long as he's nice to me and faithful, that's what's important. Oh and really, really cute too.:p

We are ::here::. I know what you mean. And I agree, number of partners isn't as big of a deal as the number of serious emotional connections (sad to say that in this day and age sex and emotions are often completely separate).



That's very commendable. Hypocrisy runs rampant in a lot of relationships.

I can understand the baggage part. I mean who would want someone with a ton of baggage? Some of my friends say I'm really picky. After I broke up with my x, I started dating again a couple of months later. I met this guy that I liked, but I really wanted to get to know him more. We dated a few more times until he started talking about his myspace account, and that totally lifted a red flag. I dunno, I just won't get serious with a guy who has a myspace account. I knew a married couple at my old job, and they are going through a divorce because of myspace. For some, there's nothing wrong with it, I just find it rather creepy and I think it would cause a bunch of problems for me in a relationship.

Nobody gets divorced strictly because of Myspace. Myspace is like Jamaica--it's not where you are that's the problem, but what you do when you get there. :cool:

Anywho, I don't think I could ever put a cap on past sexual partners because everyone is different. But, I look around at my friends who've had 3, 5, and 10+ partners and can't help but think "Who the hell would want that? That's past previously owned or even gently worn, YOU ARE USED." :mad: I just can't believe people would have such little respect for their health, their body, their reputation, etc. I can't hold the world to my standards, but common sense should tell you something. There's no such thing as "safe" sex anymore...were ALL those men worth the risk? All of them? :confused:

This whole thread is making me hum old-school TLC in my head: "Cuz to impress is not to undress me, that's only unless we agree--ya down wit OPP?!?" :D