And I will re-emphasize another point...If you did not maximize your options during FR, or if you have the opportunity to COB after FR, and you do not do so because you do not want to be in certain chapters...

DO NOT COME HERE LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY!

Its that heartbreaking time of the semester again . ... so we should review this thread and ponder why so many perfect people get rejected from all sororities.

Ugh...this thread only serves to feed a fire that really isn't relevant here. NOBODY will know why they weren't accepted, and while yes it is heartbreaking, no group discusses outside of their own four walls why they vote the way they do...so asking this question isn't even relevant.

Very interesting thread...

I hate to bring up the weight issue again, but I had a thought for why overweight girls are more likely to be cut than "ugly" girls.

There seems to be a perception in society that "fat people" are only fat because they are lazy.

Therefore, girls may cut girls who are overweight because subconsciously, they feel like the have no motivation and are "lazy couch potatoes" - therefore would not be good sisters.

I know that for SoCal rush (especially USC and UCLA) image is a huge part for many of the sororities. A lot of it is that in Southern California, there are so many beautiful girls, who also have amazing personalities to boot.

Eh, I doubt anyone is really thinking in terms of lazy. I think it's purely superficial. I also think that it's much easier to tell, objectively, whether someone is overweight or obese than it is to tell if someone is ugly. "Ugly" is subjective.

I hate to even be saying this, but you know, we should be honest that at some schools, looks matter. A lot.

Word.

I hate that we pretend again and again that looks don't matter during rush. They do. How much varies from campus to campus, chapter to chapter. On the whole, I don't think any of us are as shallow as we are made out to be in the mainstream media. There are no houses with scales under the floors, and I would be surprised if there are MANY (I'm sure there are a few) houses where they hold up your picture during membership selection meetings and somebody screams, "NO FATTIES!" -- at least in my chapter, we NEVER commented on somebody's appearance during MSM. I imagine this is the case for almost every house across the nation, even the ones with the really beautiful girls. I think the beauty standards are just sort of implicit rather than the blatant stuff we're accused of.

But come on, you guys. I think all of you know that there is at least one house on your campus, probably more, where looks matter. Quite possibly they matter to varying degrees at EVERY house. How reprehensible this is matters on the degree, because god knows that looks matter in LIFE, not just rush.

Way to go, sugar and spice--you said what I've been thinking for a long time! Looks do matter, and we all need to admit it. Now, granted, not every chapter looks for beauty queens, but I know for a fact that if a rushee had come into my chapter's house looking like she hadn't showered or brushed her hair or washed her clothes in months, I would most likely not want her to be in my sorority. That's just how it is.

I don't think that's quite what she was talking about.......

I agree that it's chapter to chapter (school to school really) but then I also come from very laid back chapters who were more on the "jock" side of life than the "beauty queen" side.

Let me put it this way. If a girl looks like she doesn't make some sort of an effort, even if she isn't ugly per se, I would probably skip over her. Maybe my example was a little extreme.

bumping for the hell of it

In one specific case in my sorority:

Because you're a trash talking drama queen. If you trash the sororities in rush, I'm going to immediately immagine all the drama you'll tryo to stir up at Homecoming activities, your pledge meetings, etc.... Thank you, mf. Move along.

OK, I just discovered today why I might not have gotten a bid to a local sorority on my campus in 1985. I wondered for a long time but wind up finding my "home" with an interest group which formed to go national and we became DPhiE. We did not have a panhellenci them to give us recruitment tips. We did not visit all the groups and then widdle down the list. We visited everyone and then the cut down. We did not cut down.

I wore their colors to an open recruitment party. I remember sitting on the floor of the multi-purpose room during float building for homecoming. Now their colors weren't anything unusual but they were NOT the school colors and I don't look great in one of the colors so maybe, I was seen in a bad light. No one mentioned it and 20 years later, I see the potential risks involved.

Why I am telling you this 20 years later? I HAD NO IDEA at the time that this was not a good idea. Thanks to greekchat, many potential new members can eliminate tons of heartache by following the advice of others before them. I was sad. I moved on and found my home but always wondered "what did I do wrong?"

Soapbox retracted!

Denise

March

the Customer is always right...
 

The reason having cute members matters to houses is a simple matter of survival economics. Rushees are the customers and they want to join houses where the girls look cute -- where and look like they have boys flocking to their doorstep, where the girls look fun and popular.

I was in a house that was considered the "fat sorority" (despite being anything but fat!). We got snubbed by a few fraternities and therefore snubbed by dozens of rushees every year who dropped out if they were left rushing just us. I would cry annually at pref because of how mean the rushees were to me and my chapter. I've been on the other side --it wasn't about who I wanted in my chapter. Looks mattered because the rushees wanted good looks!

I didnt make it into one because I thought I was so cool, I really DON'T konw how to act around other girls, and i let others influence my decision.
See, I went into rush feeling cocky: I was a former model, I was going to do Miss USA 2006 ( my state's division) and cos I was dating a guy in the top fraternity on my campus. I was basically the biggest brat, doing everything they tell you not to do during rush. From complaining, to accidently ignoring a sister, badmouthing a certain sorority, talking about frats, etc. I was AWFUL! So awful, that I made a name for myself among the other sororites and with the VP of recritment for Panhell. But nobody did anything to stop me, unfortunately. Now, the sisters weren't saints, either, but I should have known better. But I didnt bc I was used to being catered to by my bf and the frats.
Out of 20 sororities only 2 wanted me: the 2nd most unpopular sorority and the TOP sorority. So you'd think I would have joined the Top one, right?
Well, during rush I kept hearing the rho chis talk about how catty the top sorority was, and how all the frats wanted to hang out with them ONLY bc they were "fast." so i did everything i could to get cut but they wouldnt cut me. infact, they were so sweet to me, but everyone ( other pnms-how the hell would they know, right?) insisted it was all just an act... so i finally told the top sorority i didnt want to be part of their sorority.
I really wanted to join the bottom house, bc I loved them, they were the only ones I wasnt a brat to and who i loved seeing every round. But my bf wasnt happy about that, so I ended up turining down their bid and staying independant...very stupid move! Later, I rushed in spring w/ a new positive attitude but the damage was done and even the bottom sororities didn't want me.
Luckily I have kind of a happy ending. The President of the sorority I was so awful to ( the "top" one) and I became friendly, and she wants me to join next year. or so she says. and i got to know some of the other sisters and they are sooo sweet and they want me to rush, too. and i just might, because for a sorority to forgive me like that must mean I am meant to be their sister. Besides, all those girls who said those awful things about them were probably just jealous, anyway...