My daughter found out literally 15 minutes before she had to leave for her first Preference round. It was a very long day and I have to imagine she wasn't in an ideal mindset to visit her 1st house. Today she has hibernated in her room not because of losing her legacy necessarily just the overall process is overwhelming. The lady from National had been in touch with my older daughter throughout recruitment asking for feedback on what the girls were saying, so I guess when she made it that far without being cut her hopes got pretty high. 1 mad daughter and 1 sad daughter not a great combination.

I’m so sorry PNMmom18, that is a tough situation for a teenager to be put in. It is hard enough to only have 2 Pref options, if they are lucky, and then have them be thrown for a loop right before.

I agree, calling IU quota is a misnomer. It is better, but still seems to have a way to go. And that other site full of collegians bashing each other certainly doesn’t help things. I really think we would have more girls giving these chapters a chance if some of this social media didn’t exist. And random pairing might help as well.

I’m saying many prayers for everyone as we head into another tumultuous day tomorrow. I hope the girls can all find a home and, if not their first choice, give it a chance. So many girls are waiting to welcome them! Good luck, all!

Those chapters are giving your legacy daughters extra consideration by inviting them to that extra round. At competitive schools, they aren't carrying them to the round after they're required to for fun. They really are interested in getting to know them better. They've given up inviting others to invite your daughters back for a last look. They aren't inviting them back with the intent to cut them right before preference. They invited them back because they were still interested in them!

It would really be helpful if today's alumnae mothers had the experience of membership selection at these competitive schools. It's nothing like we experienced, and the number of legacies have grown geometrically. They simply can't offer a bid to all legacies. There are chapters at schools in the south now where they could fill an entire pledge class with legacies.

I am confident your daughters will find their sorority home and hope you all will appreciate the special relationship you'll have as Panhellenic sisters.

I was a part of membership selection at a competitive school and this is my second time going through it at IU (which to me is unlike anywhere else). I completely agree on the number of legacies today compared to "back in the day". That being said, I am grateful for the advice on this forum as it helped me tremendously with my older daughter but am guessing everyone here has different levels of experience with the Greek system today. I learn something new here every day!

TBH, I was tentatively hopeful while expecting her to be cut because I have been through it at IU and know how heavily the chapter chooses girls from Indy. I just think the timing is hard for the girls but I also know that giving them more time to stew sometimes isn't better. However, 15 minutes to me isn't a lot of time for an exhausted PNM to rebound.

Regardless, my daughter is excited and hopeful for tomorrow and glad for the day off! Just one more day - can't wait to hear where everyone ends up!

Without going into private MS territory, I"d like to answer celebcj (and others):

Every NPC sorority has its own policy regarding legacies and recruitment. Invitations to all rounds depend on many factors. How long a legacy may be carried is up to each NPC sorority, including being released right before preference. I don't know specifics for the other 25, only for Theta. It may be possible for individual Kappa chapters to set their invite rules. I have no idea. What is policy for my GLO is not the same for Pi Phi or DG (just for example's sake, not singling anyone out). And there's no "universal NPC policy" that "all legacies must be placed on the first bid list". Again, all I've written is just for example.

Further this is Indiana, people. Please review previous threads and see how much progress has been made at that campus vis-a-vis "bed rush" "total" "RFM" etc. The rules are applying to that campus now, slowly but surely. And that's a change that's been a long time coming.

I hope this is helpful to someone.

I love my alma mater dearly, I even own a pair of those totally awesome candy stripe pants. However I do realize some things still need to evolve. I agree with the wise AZTheta when she says that IU is indeed changing, it may be at "glacial pace", but there is progress. So in that spirit, it's time for my annual state of the union speech.

First and foremost, and I am sure most of you can quote me by now, every chapter at IU has something of value to offer. I attend quite a few campus events and I meet a wide variety of women. I am rarely disappointed. You truly can find support, leadership, service and sisterhood in every chapter. Sometimes, you may have to seek out your people, but they are there.

Again, for the Greek system as a whole to be successful, the women must build each other up and not tear each other down. Stop letting a social calendar define your chapter's worth. IU has tons of great bars, once you turn 21 that is where your the focus of your social life shifts. The fraternity party scene really only lasts 4 semesters at most. Event pairings needs to be randomized to break down the social barriers.

Young women also need to realize that you will have friends outside of your chapter. I had many friends in college who were from other chapters or not Greek at all. Some of my closest friends now are DDD, AXO and KD in addition to sisters from other chapters than my own.

I know IU is not perfect, but my sincere hope is that each day we move closer toward being our best. To all of the people involved, best wishes. And as always, Go Hoosiers.:)

Love this! Thank you!

I would really like to thank all of you for sharing your personal experiences and knowledge, as well as your daughters experiences. I literally knew nothing about the sorority recruitment process in general, much less the highly competitive process at IU, until I found this forum.

Fingers crossed for more positive news tomorrow!

Here's another small, silver lining. As much as it stings a little bit for your legacy to be cut, if she does join a different sorority, you've now broadened the number of legacy chapters for younger siblings and future grandchildren. :cool:

Thank you, IndianaSigKap, for your heartfelt state of the union reminder. I look forward to the day when it isn't necessary.

And, may it be shared from your mouth to everyone's ears, too, and I mean PNMs, actives, alums everywhere - the whole nine yards - all of what you said. Thank you.

THIS!

When my goddaughter, daughter of my Chi O big sis, did not join XO or her grandmother’s legacy chapter of Kappa, but joined Theta, this gives her younger sister of being a legacy to 3 groups. I’ve given her younger sister the nickname of “triple threat”.

I’m so sorry, PNMmom. That happened to my daughter in August. She had zero time to absorb the shock and it just should NOT happen that way. (Both for personal AND practical reasons! It is an injustice to the sorority who is about to Pref her, as she walks into their party numb—regardless of where they may be in her mind and heart’s ranking.)

My sorority has just in the last few years removed the stipulation that the alum be notified of the cut and I truly disagree. I understand in many cases the number of legacies makes it impossible and/or that it would be horrific to be the person making that call, but if you can send me an email acknowledging receipt of the legacy form, you can send me a heads-up email that my legacy has been released. (I think I would prefer that to a phone call anyway—I have zero desire to feign politeness and understanding whilst being eviscerated, thank you very much.)
Just a standardized, “We unfortunately need to tell you...” so that you can prepare your legacy and they can go into Pref night ready to find where they belong.

All of you going through this right now have my sympathies—it is just brutal!

Isn't KKG recolonizing after formal recruitment?

I truly understand that nothing was promised or assumed from being a legacy. I do not believe in the everybody gets a trophy approach and the process is equally brutal for everyone. I was just simply sharing my families experience. My older daughter graduated 2 yrs ago from IU. She got cut from a house she loved right before preference. I wasn’t looking for anyone to fix the situation. I was just venting in an arena I felt could understand. Thank you to all the ones who sent kind messages and encouragement, I wish all your girls the best moving forward.

That's Ohio State, not Indiana. Wrong B1G school:)