![]() |
I went to lots of Greek parties as an undergrad (and as a high school girl, I'm sorry to say). But I'm not trying to generalize from my experience.
Quote:
|
Quote:
Quote:
|
Well, I will comment on the lead-in example in the Swarthmore article. What I am seeing there is a remarkable lack of judgment. I can't even imagine getting into bed with a man -especially one with whom I have had sexual relations in the past- and being surprised that he would make moves on me. Or on the part of the young man for that matter. But then this "hook up" culture is completely foreign to me as well! Has campus sex become a physical activity like playing tennis or any other physical activity to get your rocks off? Purely recreational sex? Is there no relationship component to it? If sex has become so depersonalized as to be able to make objects of ones partners, is that a more fundamental problem? Add alcohol and drugs to the mix and you have potentially very volatile situations.
I don't understand, either, the goal of drinking/drugging to the point of blacking out. And yet that seems to be the goal of at least some binge drinking. Is this intentional lack of awareness so as to be able to avoid taking responsibility for ones actions? |
Quote:
|
It would seem that we were definitely more street-wise back in the day. We also had all those hormones making powerful calls on us, but we seemed to have handled them with more maturity and discretion. Even when we were first coming of age well before we entered college. This was one of the goals of sex ed in school when our youngest son was in high school. It went well beyond the mechanics of sex and consequences of same into setting parameters and boundaries for relationships. The boys as well as the girls were schooled in how to decline a sexual overture that were not ready for/didn't want. And this was to the relief of MANY of the males, many of whom were under pressure themselves. They also had an excellent education in drug and alcohol use, starting in the case of our youngest in about the third grade in the Episcopal Day School he attended. This continued into his public middle and high schools. Our four -now all adults with families of their own- pretty much confined themselves to serial monogamy once they entered into sexual relationships, both our three sons and one daughter. I can't imagine our daughter ever putting up with what young women are experiencing today!
|
This story popped up on NPR today. Apparently the RS author is being criticized because she deliberately did not seek comment from the alleged coordinator ("Drew") of the date rape. The author explained that "Jackie" begged the author not to contact "Drew". Realizing how emotionally fragile "Jackie" still was even two years after the incident, the author and her editor decided to abide by Jackie's request. The criticism focuses on the fact that she did not disclose that decision in the RS article.
Thoughts? |
Quote:
http://www.richardbradley.net/shotsinthedark/ The Washington Post, Hanna Rosin at Slate, Reason, and the New Republic are also covering. Hanna Rosin also has a podcast interview with the RS author. When I first read the story, it struck me as improbable as it was presented. Not impossible, but improbable. The journalistic shortcuts and ensuing reaction of RS to criticism only add to that improbability. I would like to think that there are some missing facts that make the situation much more complicated/ambiguous, rather than an outright fabrication (ala Duke). IF it's been factually presented, it's not only a horrific gang rape, it's an almost unthinkable dereliction on the part of the grown ups in the room (the UVA administration) not to move heaven and earth to get the perps locked up where they belong. IF the allegations are true and I had a kid at UVA, I'd do everything I could to make sure all administrators with knowledge of the allegation lose their jobs. That said, I'm very much aware of the FACT that the University is absolutely constrained by what they can and can't say to defend how they handled the situation. So, we've only heard one completely un-corroborated side of the story. I'd like to wait until the facts come out fully before I pass final judgement. |
Quote:
|
In a story and filmed interview with one of the "friends" on a local TV station, the friend who was among those counseling Jackie not to report the incident or even go to the hospital for her injuries acknowledged that the story was true. Also that "Jackie" was still very fragile. She commended the support "Jackie" received from UVA in her healing, a departure from the stance of many there.
I was also hearing of these very shocking kinds of date rapes taking place at UVA as reported by the daughters of friends to their parents well before the RS article. The President of the IFC there also painfully acknowledged that date rape within the fraternities there was a serious problem. I believe him and others. |
Quote:
Quote:
http://www.lifecentre.uk.com/dealing..._response.html http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org...y-tonights-svu Saying she was too "tired" makes me think she could have experienced tonic immobility (the freeze response) but is not able to articulate that more precisely. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
As a thought experiment, what would you do if you were the college administrator assigned to adjudicate her claim that she was raped? Would you expel the student and declare him a rapist based on the set of facts this girl presented. Some lesser punishment? |
Quote:
Years as they are called there) wouldn't report it as they were afraid it would hurt their chances of getting into a sorority. The Inter Sorority Council there posted pretty quickly that reporting a rape wouldn't adversely affect the chances of receiving a bid in the least. If the film clip is still available from the local station and I can find it I will post it. |
I did ask one mother and father with a daughter there why their daughter continued to go to UVA. They said that their daughter didn't want to leave because the specialized program of what she was studying wasn't available elsewhere. She is an upperclassman but I don't remember which year. They have been sick with anxiety, of course, even before the RS story. They insisted that she attend one of the safety on campus workshops and buy a can of pepper spray to carry with her wherever she goes. They were also planning on buying a police whistle to carry on a cord around her neck.
Our daughter, our oldest, got her Masters at UVA and is on the adjunct faculty teaching grad students. She hadn't personally heard of anything that has been going on there so asked some colleagues who teach undergrads. They confirmed for her that the severity of the problem there was true. And then got involved in the alumni response. Both as an alum and faculty member but also as a certified mediator. She has very grave concerns about the way these matters have been handled there. |
Which gets back to even the appearance of dismissing rape allegations because they don't fit a particular description of "rape"; and the social and legal "ranking" of "rape".
I don't believe anyone should be branded a "rapist" and punished without organizational investigations and, if it is a legal situation, the proper legal procedures. |
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:17 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.