For example, I may not drink, but I would date a girl that drinks socially because I respect the fact that we are different however, I would tell her occasionally out of compassion that I don't like it because the overall negative affects it can have on her and its just a really unattractive look for her when she does it. Sure I would be happy if she found the rational to stop but if she didn't the only thing that I would do is pray that it doesn't affect her too bad in the future.

As I said earlier, the attitude and reasoning behind the decisions would matter more to me than the decisions themselves. The "compassionate nagging" and the "I'll pray for you" attitude are MUCH MUCH bigger turnoffs to me than the fact that a guy doesnt drink. I'd prefer a guy whose drinking habits matched my own, but if they didn't it wouldn't be a dealbreaker - an attitude like this, however, would be.

I'm not saying it's "wrong" or "bad" to have that perspective, and I'm sure there are girls out there who who prefer a preachy guy who shares their values, but I personally would run far far away.

How is it preachy? That's like with any couple...one half may have an annoying habit that the other particularly doesn't like and vise versa. But they live with it just as long as it doesn't get out of control. Nothing is wrong with tellin the other person, you don't like it...not to preach to them but actually to let them know that you care enough about them that you wouldn't want something bad to result from the habit. So like I said, it comes from caring about the person and not imposing "your will" on them.

This isn't really comparable to something like leaving the toliet seat up (which can be an annoying habit).

Drinking in moderation (i.e. a glass of wine with dinner) has actually been proven to have health BENEFITS. So maybe she should tell you how concerned she is about you because you don't drink anything.

And It also weakens your immune system. It does more negative than positive to the human body. That's an indisputible fact and REALLY none of the people who have posted prior to this one has said, "I drink to stay healthy".

You're going to have problems in relationships if you take this attitude. You need to go into a relationship w/someone who you accept as they are. If you can not date them w/o wanting them to change in some way, then you need to find someone else.

I think there are even more reasons for considering someone "lame" and not dating them besides not drinking, no sex and no drugs.

Because this thread is not about justifying why we drink, but rather to answer your original question of do we think that you are/aren't lame. That has already been answered. No one needs to explain their preferences to you, but you do need to fully understand and accept your preferences/standards & their consequences. You seem to be the one looking for validation.

I don't view drinking as something as part of a person's personality. It's possbile to expect a person for who they are...good and bad. Nobody is going to be exactly how you want them to be. No one is perfect and there for you have to except them for there perks and their faults.

I drink to stay mentally healthy. So do all the people who call Lawyers Helping Lawyers. ;)

LOL!

Cite please?

Lol. I just had to go to my new lawyer 4-hour mandatory CLE (even though i've been a licensed attorney for 9 months). Loads of fun and lectures about substance abuse. I think if I was dating him i'd have to drink in order to stay mentally healthy.

http://www.jrussellshealth.com/alcimm.html

Encouraging them to change is not ACCEPTING them.

But see "Alcohol and Health."