KDlady80, legacies are extended a great deal of courtesy. I suspect that many of scary posts you read are the extreme horror stories and not the norm.

Like KSUViolet said, keep in mind that a lot depends on which organization you are talking about on which campus. In my own GLO some Chapters would be ecstatic if 2-3 legacies went through recruitment. In other places there are 2x quota worth of legacies participating. Even if they wanted to they can't extend bids to every legacy because the numbers simply won't allow it.

It does happen, but I'd think it's more likely to happen if the legacy is rushing while her sister is in school or shortly after her sister leaves, since you don't have the choice of telling people if you're a legacy. A grandmother legacy is up to you to list. I believe ICS (common recruitment software) only shows a chapter its own legacies instead of everyone's legacies. However, if your rec writers include her legacy information on their rec forms, this is how other chapters find out if your daughter doesn't directly tell a chapter member during recruitment.

Plus...not all NPC groups include granddaughters as legacies.