Thank you GreekOne, it's hard as a mom when I don't have the answers.

I agree whole heartedly with GreekOne. I know many women who stuck it out and ended up finding their "people" in the chapter after recruitment. By luck of the draw, they didn't get paired up with similar personalities during recruitment and it took some time just hanging out at the house to make those connections.

Sorry to hear that PNMom18, hopefully it works out for her. Glad to hear she didn't make a snap decision and drop like so many others have done. I echo the feeling of sticking with it and seeing how it plays out. Even at this point, girls have still only met a small fraction of each chapter, you never know what might happen if given the opportunity to get to know them all.

Thank you everyone! I am sure it will work out no matter the outcome.

Finally talked to my daughter tonight. She loved her legacy chapter and talked to both the Rush Chair and a girl from one of her classes this past fall. Her second party she really liked as well. So overall she had a good day.

Her roommate who had a rough time with the 9 party cuts, really came around to her legacy chapter and once other options were taken away, she really started to connect with her legacy chapter.

Another of my D's friend lost her legacy chapter with the pref round cuts so she was upset as it was her favorite, but she was continuing on with the ones she did get back.

Based on my wife's sororities bylaws we believe we know what should happen Tuesday but until daughter has a bid in hand we aren't counting our chickens before they hatch. I'm so ready for this all to be over. :)

Sorry to hear that happened. Help her to understand that in chapters of this size, she will probably not click with every single person. There will be members that she is closer to than others. If this girl wasn't engaged, it does not mean that she is done. Perhaps this girl was looking for someone else that she knew.

As for membership selection, every chapter does it differently. And, it is done differently now than when most of us on here were collegians. We always kept cumulative rankings. So, if someone got negative feedback at one party, it could be balanced by positive feedback from prior rounds.

At this point, if she attended preference round (today's parties) she is on the bid list for both chapters that she visited. It really comes down to how high on the list she will appear. Chapters have to invite more than quota to these parties because they have to assume that some will go elsewhere. So, they go down the list and extend the bids from #1 to #54 etc. until quota is met. There could be 120 on the list and they may hit the quota well before going the whole way through. If she is very low on the list due to today's party, she may not get the bid. However, if the chapters take quota additions, even if she is not at the very top of her list, she could still get a bid.

Hope this helps! In the end, it is now beyond her control. Encourage her to distract herself with something else and anticipate the best on Tuesday. Good luck![/QUOTE]


Thanks for your posts answering my questions! My heart is feeling heavy for her because I want for her what she wants and I know how it it will be for her (and me) to wait for bid night for the outcome. Silver lining... She went to her second choice house first and happily called me between rounds to say she enjoyed it and could see herself being happy there. I'm so glad that feeling was genuine and not contrived due to a disappointing experience at her favorite house. Now she and her friends are burying their emotions in BJ's pizookies. What an emotional roller coaster 11 days it's been for them! Sending good vibes, warm wishes, and virtual hugs to all the moms and their PNMs.

How can IU Panhellenic allow groups to refuse to take quota additions?

And for those groups refusing, you’re saying that that PNM is worthy enough to be invited to Pref — and you shouldn’t invite a woman to Pref if you don’t see her as a member — that if the numbers game puts you in the middle ground of both groups, that you don’t get a bid? That’s why RFM was created!

We didn't decline QAs last year, we just made quota and that's it. We personally would love to have more members, they just usually choose not to consider us. Additionally, IU is in a transition from the old bed quota system to the traditional quota/total system. It has been years of small baby steps in this direction. It was huge to have a minimum number of bids to extend! I foresee QAs becoming mandatory and moving to full quota/total over the next couple of years.

What was quota set at this year?

I'm not privy to that information, but we were not told about a set amount of bids like in past years (50 in 2016, 55 in 2017). Because of this, I would imagine that it's being set based on the number of PNMs at pref round, but I don't know that number either.

The same way groups could be allowed to only take enough to fill the house, silly ;)

But in all seriousness, if groups choose not to take QAs - or even quota - that is their prerogative. (With the ok from their HQ, of course) NPC/a college Panhellenic can't override its individual organizations' decisions regarding member selection. (Unless Tufts)

I honestly wish IU would call it "minimum class" or something for the moment, because calling it quota makes it seem like it works like garden variety quota/total, and it doesn't yet. It won't until there's a set campus total.

i'm just confused as to how legacies can be cut going into pref round?

re: cutting legacies before preference round
Many national organization rules require that legacies are put on the chapter's first bid list if they are invited to preference. So, legacies can be cut before preference round because a chapter does not want to put them on that 1st list (they already have enough girls they want on the first list.)

"When to cut a legacy" may be different from campus to campus and/or sorority to sorority. I know my older daughter who is in a different sorority from me and on a different campus says they must cut legacies after round 2 so that they aren't stringing them on. My sorority, which I was a member of at IU, cut my daughter after round 3, so she learned about it at the time she received her preference list. It made for a very difficult day!

Both of my daughters were cut by my house right before pref at IU and both were heartbroken. I agree on the stringing them along part as it would have given them more time to move another house. Finding out an hour and a half before pref rounds start made for an emotional start to yesterday for sure. I wish we would change our policy as my house at IU tends to take a lot of girls from the same area which is of course their prerogative but frustrating nonetheless.