Talked to my daughter after her last 5 ice water teas and her ranking. She had to list her top 5 to drop. She is exhausted and is starting to question if sorority life is really for her. She has been disappointed that she has not met any engineering majors in the sorority houses and knows her course load will take up more time than other majors. It would really help if she could talk to some sorority members that have done it.

She will text me how many houses she got asked back to tonight after her pi chi group meets. She is hoping she does not get asked back to a lot. I fear she might throw in the towel if she is overwhelmed. :eek:

I also think homesickness and left boyfriend are starting to catch up to her.

But if lots of PNM's don't have recs, or have only a scattered few, then most PNM's will still have invites, just perhaps a more limited number. I know nothing specific to Auburn, but from what I know of RFM in other big recruitments, there are likely chapters that have enough invitations to invite back everyone who makes the grade cuts. In fact, the rec confusion can, in a backwards sort of way, HELP some of the weaker recruiting chapters, because they might have a shot at top PNM's who don't have recs and therefore get released from the stronger recruiting chapters.

Which is to say, the advice from AU panhellenic is still dumb, but it's likely not catastrophic.

I agree that this situation can help WRCs, but it could be considered catastrophic from the vantage point of the PNM. If a PNM thinks she has a shot at a strong recruiting chapter, but doesn't get a rec since she thinks she doesn't need one, she might feel that disaster has struck.

The whole "I thought recs where only extra credit" whine makes me crazy on the PNMs/mamma's part. Even if recs were only extra credit in some alternate universe that was not the SEC, wouldn't you WANT any and all extra credit?

I am sure most young women (or their parents) put in a ton of effort with their college applications. Why put in less effort now when you are making a choice that will last a lifetime? Ask a few questions! Learn the current lay of the land! Secure your darn recs!

(steps off soap box)

Whereas if she traveled from BFE to Great Big City, she would do things differently -always locking the car etc. When you go to a different place things are different. Even if it is your sisters. How anyone gets through one issue of their national magazine and doesn't figure that out I do not understand.

But the problem with this is that it further diminishes the "mutual" aspect of mutual selection for the PNMs.

It must be stressful for the PNMs who followed AU Panhellenic advice to now hear that most in their rush group have at least one (and many two) recs to each chapter. They may be left wondering if a chapter they loved released them for lack of a rec -- especially since this is their most favorable (and perhaps only) opportunity to have numerous invitations during recruitment.

Best never to leave "extra credit" on the table in any competitive endeavor (that matters to you, anyway).

BINGO

Which is how joining a sorority might help. Please remind DD that just because she has not met any engineering students in the sororities does not mean each chapter does not have at least one member studying engineering (probably more). If she feels comfortable to do so, she might ask her rush hostesses at each sorority if they have any members who are engineering majors. Maybe the member would take that as a clue to introduce DD to said eng. major.

I hope that she sees recruitment through to the end. It is tiring and emotional and hot and sweaty, but it is worth it.

Yes, that's exactly what she should do - ASK! It's OK to do that - in fact, it will make her more memorable for all the right reasons.

My daughter is a junior at Auburn and has several engineering majors in her sorority. As a matter of fact, at least one of the members of exec is an engineering major. You can be a sorority and be successful at ANY major. You just have to want it and be willing to work for it.

Hang in there!
 

Oh, gosh. .. .Please tell her to simply ask during the next round of parties if there are any engineering majors and could she please be introduced to them. When I was at Auburn, there were several engineering majors. My roommate was one of them.

I know she must be tired --- walking, heat, humidity, lot of small talk --- it can old. But the rest of the week should be much better as there aren't as many parties every day.

Good luck!

______
Tri Delta Alum

I have a relative who is an engineering major at Auburn and in a sorority. One of her best friends in the sorority is also in engineering. I'm sure there are more, but that is the one I have heard mentioned. She enjoyed knowing someone in her engineering classes her freshman year.

However, I do remember she had similar thoughts as your daughter as she went through the process. In fact, she didn't plan to pledge, but she changed her mind at pref. She is extremely glad she did. I doubt your daughter will meet her at rush though as she is working behind the scenes.

I agree it doesn't hurt to have your daughter to ask.

Crazy day today - luckily parties were done before it started to pour down rain. More storms coming tonight

Just wanted to say - remember to start over your rankings each day. Think just about the invites you have and start them off with a clean slate. All kinds of things can go wrong day one. The chapter where things didnt go well one day could wow you the next if you give them a chance!

I was thinking the same thing as this. It's still not "fair" to the PNMs who only find out too late how important recs are. But, theoretically, if enough PNMs come in with no recs, then there will be some who get invites to many of the chapters just because chapters need to hit their invite numbers each day.